Let It Out

New page, new troubles.

My best friend has a crush on a guy from her school, and she confessed to him yesterday. He hasn't said anything to her yet and it's making her really scared, and now it's scaring me, too. I was almost certain he liked her, but all this waiting is giving me bad vibes. I'm sure it's even harder for her.

I don't know what to do. If the guy says 'yes', that's great, but then she won't want to hang around me anymore, and she's really my only friend.
If the guy says 'no', then she'll feel terrible, and then I'll feel terrible, too. I don't want her to be sad.

Argh, I just feel like a piece of pond scum. No matter what happens, one of us will be upset, and I feel terrible getting mad about it. I really shouldn't feel that way, I SHOULDN'T. It's terrible of me to get clingy and get mad over this, but no matter how many times I tell myself to be happy for her, I just feel awful.

I'm so confused in the head right now. I feel like a terrible best friend.

I totally understand that feeling, GadgetJax... You're afraid you could lose someone who is special to you, and that's a normal feeling. It'll pass. Most parents probably feel that way inside before their child possibly moves away to live with someone else.

I felt like that many times and was hard on myself. I would still feel bad for stuff like this.

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I guess the hardest part for me is that she's literally the only friend I still have. Everybody else has either forgotten me or left me.

I really want her to be happy with a guy that she likes, but... it just hurts knowing that if she does, that means I'm back to being alone again.

I am not good at making friends. I've met dozens of people throughout my life, but I can only name 3-4 of them who actually like me, and she's the only one who treats me like a real friend. I can't think of any friend I've had who was as nice as she was. That's why I don't want her to forget me.

Speaking from experience, if this dude would keep you guys from having a platonic friendship with her if they start dating, then he's quite honestly a shitstain. A shitstain with unfounded trust issues. Any worthwhile partner is not going to instantly shut their other half off from the rest of the world like that because that's pretty emotionally abusive. Then again... I don't know much about your situation, I'm only speaking from my personal experiences with similar situations.

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Eh, I get what you mean, but... It's not him that's the problem.

The issue is that this guy is exactly like me, but actually good-looking and talented.

If they start dating, she'll literally have no reason to talk to me anymore since her boyfriend is a better version of me.

I suck.

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Edit:

I just found out that he said 'yes'.

They're in love now.

He sounds like a really nice guy, but... they've apparently only known each other for two weeks.

And I don't think she considers me one of her friends anymore, either.

...

I'm so hurt in the head right now. I don't think I've been as confused as this in my entire life. I don't even know how to feel anymore. I feel like the biggest jerk on earth. I've felt sick in my stomach all day thinking about this, and now I feel headaches, too. I'm a piece of trash for feeling this way. I suck to high heaven.

If it's like my experiences, she'll want you to play the third wheel. Don't be anyone's third wheel. If you can still be friends with her, talk to her, and hang out, that's good. But it's worth keeping in mind that she has her path and you have yours. Sometimes paths split, it sucks but it happens. I would try to be supportive because if things do go south, she'll need someone to help her out and it will likely be you.

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I understand what you mean. Actually, this isn't the first time she's had a boyfriend: She used to be in a long-distance relationship with an old school friend of hers. Apparently she didn't even tell anybody else about it, so if she told me and no-one else, I guess that makes me important to her.

Believe me, I still really wanna be friends with her. She's super cool: She's an honestly friendly person, she's dependable, she shares a lot of interests with me - heck, she's the only friend I have that also likes BEMANI games. She's a pop'n and DDR addict.
I'm just worried that she won't give a flying feather about ME anymore. She knows at least 30-40 good friends in our town, but I can count all of my friends on one hand. Me losing her is a punch to the gut, but her losing me is just one less nerd to hang around.

At least, that's how I feel, anyway. Maybe deep down she cares more about me than I believe. But my paranoia keeps me from believing that. It's really aggrivating.

That's no way to go about thinking of things. If you were good friends before, there's no reason you wont be good friends now. Just keep trying to stay in contact with her. Unless she flat out tells you to stop talking to her, there's nothing wrong with simply trying to engage in conversation.

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I dunno, it just feels like I'm inferior to her boyfriend.

Y'know how there's no reason to play Smash 64 anymore because Melee and Sm4sh are better in every way?

I feel that way with this situation: There's no reason for her to hang out with me anymore because her boyfriend is better in every way.

If I keep sticking around even after she stops truly caring about me, she'll just think I'm clingy and hate me even more.

It doesn't help that I'm her only friend that doesn't go to the same school as her, so she gets to see ALL of her friends (including her BF) every day, but can only see me when we see each other at church, the library, or when we specifically decide to hang out. She has to actively go out of her way to be friends with me, whereas all of her better friends are right there with her at all school. So not only is her BF better than me, but he's also there for her all the time. I'm literally useless to her now.

Sorry for clogging up this thread with my whiny rants. It's just been bothering me for a while and I needed a good place to vent about it.

Don't worry, I can relate to everything you're talking about here. After all, that's kinda one of the things this thread is for, isn't it? I've been interested in someone myself, but she's been extremely busy over the summer so we only really met up once. I understand how painful this kind of uncertainty is. It may sound somewhat cliché, but don't give up hope. I know that if I were to give up hope myself, I would lose much of my will to exist. If you need people to talk to, we're all here.

If she ends up dropping you as a friend for no discernible reason, then she is the shitty friend. Based on the way you describe her, she doesn't sound like the type who would do anything that you're describing. I could be completely wrong, and I know I've been fucking burned in similar situations before, but I'd like to think that she actually does see the good in you regardless of her romantic situation. Any good, honest friend would regardless of whether they're the opposite gender or the same.

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She really isn't that type at all. She's actually a really empathetic person: We've had talks together about how we were both snotty jerks as kids and hurt a lot of people's feelings, and she feels really bad that she can't travel back in time to apologize to those kids. I feel that same way a lot, too.
She's also been cast aside by lots of her old friends at various times for no reason, so I'm sure she knows how much it hurts and she wouldn't ever do it to anybody else.

She never tries to hurt anybody's feelings, and I don't think she would ever leave me behind out of malice.

I'm just worried she'll just slowly forget about me because she has no reason to care anymore.

I think you're being a bit too hard on yourself. I completely get the feeling, though. To call anxiety a pain in the ass would be sugarcoating it, because it's more like constantly having a frontal lobe lobotomy while still conscious. As I said, if she drops you as a friend, that would make her the shitty friend and in no way does that reflect on you. She has every reason to still care about you, and you have every reason to still care about her.

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I am madly now in love with Eurobeat and Initial D w/ Super Eurobeat compilations and I regret absolutely nothing.

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Well I found myself this. A remix of METAL GEAR SOLID Main Theme from beatmania APPEND YebisuMIX.

...you're right.

Hopefully everything stays positive from here on out. I might be able to see her tomorrow at morning mass, so if I get the chance to talk to her in person, maybe that could help gauge how she still feels about me.

There are multiple wildfires going on in my state right now, and my town is in the middle getting smoked out. I've seen overcast weather, and I've seen fog, but it's not supposed to have that red tint to it... Yesterday, I was able to look at the sun comfortably without eye protection. It looked like Mars was the same distance away as the Moon.

The end days are approaching...

Oh no! Any update in that? 😯

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Just that it's smoky and humid as heck. Here's a pic from outside my local arcade...



It may not be obvious, but let me tell you, that's not your normal Coos Bay fog. It wouldn't be so hot out otherwise.

I can't believe I haven't been here for almost a week, which is the longest I've ever gone without checking this site...Well, I'm glad to be back, yet super duper stressed about the first day of school, which is tomorrow. >.<
Anyway, I hope everyone has a good Labor Day!

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