Post #101 · Posted at 2023-09-19 12:17:13am 1 year ago
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How do new gardeners learn how to garden?
By Trowel and Error!
By Trowel and Error!
Post #102 · Posted at 2023-09-19 02:43:23am 1 year ago
| DarkFeline | |
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What's the difference between a job and a wife?
At present, the job probably still sucks.
At present, the job probably still sucks.
Post #103 · Posted at 2023-09-19 01:21:17pm 1 year ago
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What's the difference between a hooker and a greedy employer with no morals?
You get fucked either way, but you're probably paying the hooker instead of getting paid.
You get fucked either way, but you're probably paying the hooker instead of getting paid.
Post #104 · Posted at 2023-09-20 03:37:53am 1 year ago
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What do you call a cat that's also a DJ?
DJ Meow Mix.
DJ Meow Mix.
Post #105 · Posted at 2023-09-20 04:31:58pm 1 year ago
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What's the difference between boogers and vegetables?
You can't get kids to eat vegetables.
You can't get kids to eat vegetables.
Post #106 · Posted at 2023-09-20 09:14:05pm 1 year ago
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What's the difference between a pushy salesman and a taxi driver?
They both drive you away, but you thank one of them for their service.
They both drive you away, but you thank one of them for their service.
Post #107 · Posted at 2023-09-20 09:16:14pm 1 year ago
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What question can never be answered by "yes"?
"Are you asleep?"
"Are you asleep?"
Post #108 · Posted at 2023-09-20 10:13:25pm 1 year ago
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What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?
One's $1.50, the other's under a buck.
One's $1.50, the other's under a buck.
Post #109 · Posted at 2023-09-20 10:18:02pm 1 year ago
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Why did the boy throw butter out the window?
He wanted to see a butterfly.
He wanted to see a butterfly.
Post #110 · Posted at 2023-09-20 10:20:05pm 1 year ago
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If you want honesty, become friends with short people. Their height prevents them from telling tall tales.
Post #111 · Posted at 2023-09-20 10:32:13pm 1 year ago
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What animal talks all the time?
A yak.
A yak.
Post #112 · Posted at 2023-10-06 09:22:31am 1 year ago
| DarkFeline | |
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Dad: I'm starting to doubt your boyfriend's masculinity.
Daughter: What makes you say that?
Dad: We met at a gay bar.
Daughter: What makes you say that?
Dad: We met at a gay bar.
Post #113 · Posted at 2023-10-06 11:27:25pm 12.1 months ago
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What do you call a quadruple amputee in a recliner?
Eileen.
Eileen.
Post #114 · Posted at 2023-10-06 11:53:43pm 12.1 months ago
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Where does a sick ship go?
The docks.
The docks.
Post #115 · Posted at 2023-10-06 11:56:01pm 12.1 months ago
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I practiced a standup routine at a morgue one time. I have my doubts about how it went, but the worker said I left the audience dead.
Post #116 · Posted at 2023-10-07 01:45:27am 12.1 months ago
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When is a pie like a poet?
When it's Browning.
When it's Browning.
Post #117 · Posted at 2023-10-10 06:52:47pm 12 months ago
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What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with big boobs?
One's a crusty bus station, the other's a busty crustacean.
One's a crusty bus station, the other's a busty crustacean.
Post #118 · Posted at 2023-10-10 06:55:01pm 12 months ago
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What is a computer's favorite dance?
Disko.
Disko.
Post #119 · Posted at 2023-10-13 03:17:46am 11.9 months ago
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I'm in a Walmart parking lot watching a woman who can't remember where she parked her car. Every time she holds her remote in the air, I honk my horn.
Post #120 · Posted at 2023-10-14 03:33:30am 11.9 months ago
| DarkFeline | |
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A man and a woman inside an airplane. As the man peers outside the window...
Man: Oh no. I have a bad feeling this plane is going to crash.
Woman: Why? This flight is going smoothly.
Man: I can see the two pilots parachuting outside.
Man: Oh no. I have a bad feeling this plane is going to crash.
Woman: Why? This flight is going smoothly.
Man: I can see the two pilots parachuting outside.