The Joke Thread

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Post #81 · Posted at 2020-11-13 08:20:48pm 3.5 years ago

Offline AxelWasHere
AxelWasHere Avatar Member
1,605 Posts
United States
Reg. 2012-07-13

Quote: _|/-\43D
Some people say they pick their nose.

I was born with mine.




Post #82 · Posted at 2020-11-13 08:52:39pm 3.5 years ago

Offline Musashi
Musashi Avatar Member
108 Posts
United States
Reg. 2014-05-03

How do we know all the ants in a colony are girls?

Otherwise they'd be uncles!

Why does a space rock taste better than an Earth rock?

'Cuz it's a little meatier (meteor)!

What's a good reason to steal a dolphin from the aquarium?

To add a purpose (porpoise) to your life!

Post #83 · Posted at 2020-12-05 09:15:08pm 3.5 years ago

Offline Zelda Anneliese
Zelda Anneliese Avatar Banned
2 Posts
Not Set
Reg. 2020-12-05

Why do cats always get their way?
They are very purr-suasive!

How do two cats end a fight?
They hiss and make up!

Post #84 · Posted at 2020-12-05 09:21:52pm 3.5 years ago

Offline _|/-\43D
_|/-\43D Avatar Member
3,003 Posts
United States
Reg. 2011-11-09

How does a leopard change its spots?

He just has to move from here to there.
deez nuts

Post #85 · Posted at 2020-12-05 09:39:07pm 3.5 years ago

Offline NewbStepper
NewbStepper Avatar Moderator+
2,517 Posts
Reg. 2013-05-23

"Crybabies unite~ ♡"
Why do professional accountants know so little?

They have too many GAAPs in their knowledge.
ZIv Mod Squad: "The Eternal Crybaby"
Quote: 01angel
We're the Fangirl Sisters~
The Meitu Fangirl & the Alt Fangirl Laughing Hard
Dear Lord Toon, you are simply amazing! Happy

Post #86 · Posted at 2020-12-06 02:09:59am 3.5 years ago

Offline DevilsLynAvenged12!
DevilsLynAvenged12! Avatar Member
427 Posts
United States
Reg. 2016-11-26

Why was King Arthur's army too tired to fight?

It had too many sleepless knights.

Post #87 · Posted at 2020-12-06 02:18:34am 3.5 years ago

Offline DarkFeline
DarkFeline Avatar Member
814 Posts
Reg. 2010-08-31

"My paw is incompurrable!"
A bouncer kicked out a gay man out of a bar. A woman saw the event.

Woman: Why did you kick out that gay man?

Bouncer: Because he had the nerve to say thay he's prettier than me! I'm the only pretty one here. I'm the only queen here.
Credit to Lord Toon for the awesome banner.
Background scripts for Max-Extreme Random Movies users + FMVs.

Post #88 · Posted at 2021-03-19 12:52:02am 3.2 years ago

Offline banned_hahaha_jk
banned_hahaha_jk Avatar Banned
2 Posts
Not Set
Reg. 2021-03-19

lmao love dis thread bumpPuppy FacePuppy FacePuppy FacePuppy FacePuppy FacePuppy FacePuppy FacePuppy FacePuppy FacePuppy Face

Post #89 · Posted at 2021-03-19 12:59:53am 3.2 years ago

Offline RevAddict5
RevAddict5 Avatar Member
752 Posts
United States
Reg. 2013-06-10

"Bigger avatars when?"

Post #90 · Posted at 2021-03-19 01:04:30am 3.2 years ago

Offline salt814
salt814 Avatar Member
87 Posts
United States
Reg. 2021-01-22

What kind of technology was a craze among ancient Babylonians?


Post #91 · Posted at 2021-03-19 01:08:14am 3.2 years ago

Offline _|/-\43D
_|/-\43D Avatar Member
3,003 Posts
United States
Reg. 2011-11-09

Did you hear the one about Vladislav?

Vladislav, baby don't hurt me. Don't hurt me. No more.
deez nuts

Post #92 · Posted at 2021-04-14 03:02:43am 3.1 years ago

Offline mxwellc
mxwellc Avatar Member+
11 Posts
United States
Reg. 2021-02-07

The announcer when you have no-fail on but are trying hard songs:


Post #93 · Posted at 2021-12-12 10:07:46pm 2.5 years ago

Offline fangfujiwara
fangfujiwara Avatar Member
1 Post
Reg. 2021-12-11

you dont have a tissue? well that your issue

(the worst i have)

Post #94 · Posted at 2021-12-13 09:20:13am 2.5 years ago

Offline _|/-\43D
_|/-\43D Avatar Member
3,003 Posts
United States
Reg. 2011-11-09

Mario and Princess Peach just broke up! Supposedly, he told her, "It's not a-you. It's a-me, Mario!"
deez nuts

Post #95 · Posted at 2021-12-13 11:26:37am 2.5 years ago

Offline Retroguy
Retroguy Avatar Member
74 Posts
United Kingdom
Reg. 2017-10-23

"Just your average lurker."
Stolen from Game Grumps, but I still wanna share it anyway.

What's the difference between a chick pea and a garbanzo bean? I wouldn't pay $200 to have a garbanzo bean on my face.
DEGRS is the pinnacle of chart design.

Post #96 · Posted at 2021-12-14 05:50:39am 2.5 years ago

Offline salt814
salt814 Avatar Member
87 Posts
United States
Reg. 2021-01-22

What did the lumberjack yell when he cut down the tree one cold day?


Post #97 · Posted at 2021-12-14 06:34:03am 2.5 years ago

Offline n00b_saib0t
n00b_saib0t Avatar Member
2,331 Posts
United States
Reg. 2007-02-05

Nintendo Network ID: n00bsaib0tNintendo Switch Friend Code: SW-7875-2425-72033DS Friend Code: 4871-6557-4900
"F***ing exhausted."
A guy walks into a doctor’s office with a frog on his head. The doctor says “what’s the matter with you?”, the frog says “it all started with a bump on my ass.”
Quote: sharibetsu in The Unwritten Rules of ZIv thread
Any popular thread must have at least one debate between n00b_saib0t and someone else.

Post #98 · Posted at 2021-12-26 10:09:48pm 2.4 years ago

Offline _|/-\43D
_|/-\43D Avatar Member
3,003 Posts
United States
Reg. 2011-11-09

Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?

Because they lactose.
deez nuts

Post #99 · Posted at 2023-09-18 10:14:53pm 9.1 months ago

Online 1033Forest
1033Forest Avatar Member
471 Posts
United States
Reg. 2016-05-08

Game Center Nickname: 1033Forest
"Spot Paints Purple"
Who wants to hear a knock-knock joke?

Knock, knock.

Who's there?


Nobody who?

Nobody's gonna rescue us! That's who!

Mittens, Peanut, and Forest: [Groan]

Post #100 · Posted at 2023-09-19 12:14:32am 9.1 months ago

Offline salt814
salt814 Avatar Member
87 Posts
United States
Reg. 2021-01-22

Why couldn't 4 ask out 5?

He was 2^2
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