The Wrestling Thread

Erm, it just sort of materialised out of nowhere as a thing? You would presume that Cesaro is going to win. Sheamus has had no momentum longer than Cesaro has and at this point I don't think the win is going to benefit either man, realistically.

It's weird, I was hoping the brand split would do something - new storylines involving people getting spotlight for the first time. And sure, that's happening in bits, but nothing at the moment really has me interested (and I'm including NXT in this too). Like, what are the feuds right now?

Ambrose vs. Styles - Yeah, sure, but I think it needs to pick up. Considering the finish last night it probably will, but the build up to the match itself was relatively lukewarm. Attitude Era style booking suggests we're going to have a CUP ON A POLE match considering the testicular nature of the feud.

Kevin Owens vs. Seth Rollings - It's a set-up for Rollins - Triple H, that seems fairly obvious so there's no real reason to be invested. Also need to know why Trips did what he did, a logical explanation might get H vs. Seth up a bit.

Sheamus vs. Cesaro - Previously mentioned, no momentum

Miz vs Ziggles - I like both of these two, I should be invested. But man, I was more excited for Colonel Ziggles vs. The Gibz. I don't know what they need, maybe Ziggler needs an actual reason to fight other than Championship, but it feels like Miz - Bryan sideshow

Club - New Day - It's not serious enough, from either side

Wyatt - Orton - Wyatt hasn't been a serious contender for anything, ever. Blank threats and empty promises

Usos vs. American Alpha - Usos as a heel team aren't ready for a feud that they really need to lose to help AA get over, but I don't think they can take the titles off SlaytehRhyno yet. Pump up the animosity, have AA fight for the titles first, let that annoy Usos and they cost them another title opportunity, then I think this feud might be ready.

Nakamura vs. Joe - Depends on how long Joe is out for, but currently I can't see good old Nakky being defeated any time soon

Nikki Bella vs. Carmella - actually built up reasonably well, Carmella had no support due to the awful way she was brought up with no explanation. Turning her into a spoilt brat catfighty kinda character seems to suit her. I just don't think from a skill point perspective that she's ready for the big time.

Charlotte vs;. Bayley/Sasha - just feels like the same Charlotte rivalry over and over and over again. Placeholder for Bayley - Banks it feels like.

Sure I'm missing one or two, but yeah. Anyone else think I'm wrong?

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You're exactly correct.

You're just missing Bray Wyatt - Randy Orton.

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It's in there, but it's a stub, kind of like the feud itself.

Orton still strikes me as being quite bland, his viscous persona was always his best and that gets toned down so much with the new PG guidelines.

Wyatt is just, as I said, blank threats and empty promises. As if they didn't make him pick Kane apart at Backlash.

"Be thankful you're not here to experience this Orton." *Hits Kane with a kendo stick* "Thank God, Orton!" *again* "Thank ME, ORTON!!" *again*. Orton runs in to makes the save, Wyatt slithers out of the ring laughing as Orton enters. Wyatt points at Orton with the kendo stick. "Run."

Granted, I would have picked someone different to Kane, but have them writhing afterwards. More cerebral, more in-keeping with the character that Wyatt should be in my opinion.

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WOW I need to stop forgetting to wear my glasses. My bad LOL

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So, on the assumption that we're going to save the "special" predictions for the "major" PPVs, I'm going to put my predictions for the card as it stands here now. If Quickman decides to do special predictions later, I'll add them seperately:

Nia Jax vs. Alicia Fox - Nia Jax
Sami Zayn vs. Chris Jericho - Sami Zayn
TJ Perkins vs. THE Brian Kendrick - TJ Perkins
Cesary vs. Sheamus - Cesaro
The New Day vs. The Club - The Club
Charlotte vs. Bayley vs. Banks - Charlotte
Rusev vs. Reigns - Rusev
Owens vs. Rollins - Owens

Nowhere near as confident with this set as I was with Backlash. I reckon 3/8 are nailed on (Jax, Cesaro & Perkins). The main event will be Owens or Rollins via DQ. I suspect Charlotte will keep the belt until a "major" PPV. It's probably about time The New Day dropped the titles and became chasers, but I still don't think The Club have been booked to that level so far, but I think they'll pull the trigger on it regardless. I don't see any reason for Jericho to beat Zayn (but I thought that about Styles at Mania, so yeah).

Only problem with these results is that you effectively don't have a face champion at all on RAW (except the Cruiserweights, but I think it's too early to have a distinction at the moment).

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Papa Shango coming to 2K17 as DLC tho...

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Welcome to the reason why Smackdown is better than Raw, AKA CLASH OF CHAMPIONS 2016; Featuring American Annoucners, Spanish Announcers, Russian Announcers, Japanese Announcers, French Announcers, German Annoucners, Chinese Announcers, Italian Announcers, British Announcers, Canadian Announcers, Pacific Announcers (from the Pacific Ocean, not the Pacific Islands), Atlantis-ian Announcers, Dinosaur Announcers, SEGA Announcers, Antarctican Annoucners, Planet Mars-ian Announcers, and Sp00kie Illuminati Announcers.

Pre-Show Match: Shut the fuck up vs. Nia Jax
Result: Nia Jax won.
Rating: Even though it was a shit quality match, I'm glad Alicia Fox lost. 10/10
My comment: ....

Match: New Day vs. another jobber tag team buried by the New Day
Result: LOLNEWDAYWINS
Rating: 5/10
My comment: I'm surprised fans are still liking a gimmick that's been beating a dead horse for the past year and a half.

Match: TJ Perkins vs. /The/ Brian Kendrick (implying he's now an animal or non-human species)
Result: TJ Perkins wins.
Rating: As much fucks as I gave for this match (which was a precious total of 0), both TJ Perkins and /THE/ Brian Kendrick impressed me with their skills. 10/10
My comment: Welcome back to the WWE, /the/ Brian Kendrick. I remember the day WWE fired the wild Brian Kendrick species, then it went to TNA for a little while, then it finally returns to WWE for the Cruiserweight Classic thingy thing, and made it back to the Raw Roster. Anyways, TJ Perkins tamed the Brian Kendrick Species and won the match. Moving on.

Match: Cesaro vs. Sheamus; A TOTALLY final round match in this best of 7 series
Result: Both men put up a great match, BEST MATCH OF THE NIGHT, but the match ended in a no contest after both pussies were laying out of the ring with a bunch of useless doctors on their bodies.
Rating: Devastated. 3/10
My comment: Spare me bleach.

Match: Jobber vs. Chris Jericho
Result: Chris Jericho beats Jobber TROLOLOLOLOL I WON'T TELL YOU HIS OPPONENT WAS SAMI ZAYN-oh oops I just did.
Rating: Great quality match. 8/10
My comment: I'm a bit ticked that Sami Zayn doesn't win much. Then again, WWE is too stupid to realize who is and isn't talented. The more talented you are, the higher of a chance you'll become a jobber. *coughs*ApolloCrews*coughs* The LESS talented you are, the higher of a chance you'll get a push. *coughs*NikkiBella*coughs*

Match: Charlotte wins vs. Jobber who puts her over vs. another Jobber who puts her over in a triple threat match
Result: LOLCHARLOTTEWINS
Rating: 0/10
My comment: *runs outside and stands in the middle of the street* HEY NEIGHBOR, DO ME A FAVOR AND RUN ME OVER WITH THAT MONSTER TRUCK. *the neighbor gives me a thumbs up then drives the monster truck towards me and runs me over*

Match: Roman Reigns vs. Rusev: the only match with a result I enjoyed
Result: Roman Reigns wins the United States Championship! THERE IS A GOD.
Rating: 10/10 - IGN
My comment: Roman Reigns is TALENT. Rusev is fucking annoying. I still hold a grudge on him burying Mark Henry as if he's a Jinder Mahal-tier jobber.

Match: Seth Rollins vs. Kevin Owens
Result: Seth Rollins is making a come back and it looks like he's about to win the-OH nevermind HAHAHA Chris Jericho interfered. Of course. Kevin Owens wins. I'll admit, Owens was hilarious throughout the match with his sarcasm ,but whatever.
Rating: I know how much Kevin Owens fans there are, and I don't care. You have a guy who beat John Cena CLEAN (though Cena buried him their 2nd and 3rd matches), and he needs Chris Jericho to help him win a match. The referee is knocked out. I wonder if a fucking PAPER BALL would knock out the referee. Seriously, Seth Rollins is the face of Raw. YEAH, he was an annoying FUCKING TWAT through 2014-2015, but he became stronger in Money in the Bank 2016 when he /cleanly/ beat Roman Reigns for the WWE Championship. Then again, at the same time, I'm glad Seth Rollins didn't bury Kevin Owens, but still, that was A SHITTY FUCKING WAY to end a match. *sigh* Why do I expect anymore than abominations with the Raw roster? I'm gonna rate this match the same rating I'm gonna start giving Brock Lesnar everytime he returns and bury another red-hot main event star: -104345190135891309 / 10.
My comment: Heel pushes, folks. Heel pushes.

Overall show rating: 4/10 #CancelWWENetwork

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Match: Roman Reigns vs. Rusev: the only match with a result I enjoyed
Result: Roman Reigns wins the United States Championship! THERE IS A GOD.
Rating: 10/10 - IGN
My comment: Roman Reigns is TALENT. Rusev is fucking annoying. I still hold a grudge on him burying Mark Henry as if he's a Jinder Mahal-tier jobber.

why are you such a reigns mark?

he is mediocre at best

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New Day confirmed to be dropping titles at Royal Rumble '17 to tag team of Shinsuke Nakamura and his haircut.

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Perkins v. Nakamura for Theme Song Championship

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i'm actually surprised people haven't stopped booing him. many people said Reigns's midcard push works like a charm. also, to answer your question, i've remained a Roman Reigns LOYAL fan, even in early 2015 when he had the X-Pac heat.

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Like hell it's a midcard push. He's still in pretty much every RAW main event and he beat Kevin Owens in a cage match while Owens was Universal Champion. It's a "midcard push" only in name, Vince is still making sure he's the guy that everything's focused on.

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So No Mercy tonight, and have yet to watch either Backlash or Clash of Champions, they're coming far, far too quickly to make me care.

So, that means it's time for PREDICTIONS!

Baron Corbin def. Jack Swagga
Nikki Bella def. Carmella
Bray Wyatt def. Randy Orton
Lynch def. Bliss, Bliss def. ??? if the match is changed due to Lynch's alleged injury
Usos def. Slater and Rhyno
Miz def. Dolph Ziggler
TBD def. Curt Hawkins (FACE THE FACTS!)
Styles def. Cena, Ambrose

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The world title match is apparently going on /first/.

WOW I WONDER IF THAT MEANS MIZ BEING A PRICK AFTER RETIRING ZIGGLER IS THE CLOSING SHOT OF THE SHOW

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Ladies and Gentlemen, it is time to review SmackDown's own No Mercy 2016! I totally can't wait for the World Title Match in the Main Event of the-- wait what? It's the FIRST Match? Okay then... Atleast Curt Hawkins is wrestling tonight! ...oh wait, he just returned to say he's wrestling this Tuesday on SmackDown. *sigh* Let's begin.

Match: John "thank god he didn't win" Cena vs. Dean Ambrose vs. AJ Styles
Result: John Cena and Dean Ambrose pulls a double-submission on AJ Styles and made him tap out....but the Match magically continues then AJ Styles retains the belt by a chair shot.
Rating: 5/10; Devastating in a bad way.
My comment: I thought John Cena was going to win, turn heel maybe, and piss off fans. If that would've happened, then that would've been a great reason to have this Match as the first Match, but there is no such thing as excitement in the WWE.

Match: Nikki Cena vs. Carmella
Result: Nikki Bella wins.
Rating: 7/10
My comment: Carmella better not lose momentum.

Match: Heath Slater and Rhyno vs. the Evil Usos
Result: After a great match, Slater and Rhyno retained.
Rating: 10/10; Great match!
My comment: I honestly thought the Usos were going to win, but I was wrong. They kinda deserve it now. Then again, the Ascension deserved a huge push too, but that's never happening. I can't complain, though. If it weren't for whomever improved WWE for the past couple months, Heath Slater and Rhyno would've been a pair of jobbers.

Match: Jack Swagger vs. Baron Corbin
Result: Baron Corbin wins, and is an awesome heel.
Rating: 8/10; Slow-paced match.
My comment: Remember when Baron Corbin was a face, but ended up receiving X-Pac heat? I do.

Match: Dolph Ziggler vs. Mike "I never win matches clean" Mizanin
Result: Dolph Ziggler wins! Finally, the Intercontinental Championship isn't held by a man who wrestles like a coward.
Rating: 10/10 - IGN
My comment: I don't care. The Miz is fucking annoying. His 15 minutes of fame (from 2011 when he was the WWE Champion) should've been over by now. I was hoping he'd finally start winning matches clean eversince his shot towards Daniel Bryan at that episode of Talking Smack, but I was wrong. He started cowarding his way to victories more and more often. I also still hold a grudge on the Miz burying Zack Ryder the way he did after Wrestlemania, AKA the worst Wrestlemania I've ever seen, AKA worst than Wrestlemania 27, AKA idgaf how high Shane McMahon dived because he still lost that fuckin' match against the Undertaker. I thought I was gonna die of drug overdose after the amount of pills I took after watching that abomination. Anyways, moving on...

Match: Becky Lynch vs. Alexa Bliss
Result: M. Bison made his debut and psycho crushed Becky Lynch, but then Chun-Li rescued her and dragged her to the hospital. Dankey Kang, then, broke in the arena and threw cotton candy at everyone.
Rating: O MAH GAWD / 10
My comment: darude - sandstorm

jk that match never happened

Match: Alexa Bliss vs. VELVET SKY no jk just Naomi, nobody else
Result: Vince McMahon and the writers buries yet another favorite wrestler of mine, writing in that Naomi defeats Alexa Bliss AKA THE #1 CONTENDER FOR THE WOMEN'S CHAMPIONSHIP CLEAN.
Rating: 1/10
My comment: *chants* I AM WRITER. *headbutts brick wall* I AM WRITER. *headbutts brick wall* I AM WRITER. *headbutts brick wall*

Match: Randy Orton vs. Bray Wyatt
Result: Luke Harper returns and helps Bray Wyatt win.
Rating: 8/10
My comment: Great match, not a worthy main event. Goldberg should've like....returned and saved Randy Orton idk

Overall rating: 7/10 atleast it wasn't a complete waste of time like Clash of Champions was.

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Ellsworth nearly broke his fucking neck. OOPS. THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR TUCKING ON A STYLES CLASH.

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R.IP. Glorious10. I was hoping that would be a thing.

TNA is truly the so-called "cockroach of Professional Wrestling". Besides being short on company funds to even continue existing, they also have:

>The Corgan lawsuit
>This week doing shit ratings
>A01 Productions suing TNA
>The Eric Bischoff lawsuit
>Now Tennessee could start going after TNA for unpaid taxes

What's the good news? Canada's Fight Network (who is licensed to show TNA in Canada) will pay the company debts and pay Billy Corgan (who everyone was hoping would buy the company) so he can walk away from the company. Someone said it best,

"This is what happens when you put all of your skill points into the luck stat."

It's also quite the Deus Ex Machina. I would kill to have that much luck.


Yes I know I'm late. But I don't even post this on Facebook.
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Alexa Bliss got her win back on Smackdown. I am not pissed off because I know it could've been worse. I actually scoffed involuntarily when I read that Dana Brooke vs Bayley and Sasha Banks vs Charlotte are still happening on RAW. At least in Smackdown everyone is on display (except injured Becky) and rotate the wrestlers around. P.S. I love Alexa Bliss' theme.

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Daily reminder: Ellsworth is great.

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I'm sure he does, from what I heard. It's kinda weird because I'm only following the diva storylines.

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