The Wrestling Thread

We don't have a wrestling-related thread? That shit is fixed. Talk about wrestling stuff(meaning no CZW ).

Anyone actually going to watch WrestleMania 31?

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Aw yiss, wrestling thread. I'm not going to Mania, but I will be watching it. My hype has pretty much hit stratospheric levels, I'm so excited for it.

You wanna make match predictions?

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I'm considering watching it live, I mean I did for the Royal Rumble and Fastlane - but Wrestlemania is even longer, it'll pretty much destroy any trace of sleeping pattern I have left, I might just watch the repeat when I wake up on Monday. I probably won't decide either way until Sunday to be honest.

Match predictions:

Cesaro/Kidd retain tag titles
Mizdow wins Battle Royale
Taker def. Wyatt
Bellas def. PaiJ
Daniel Bryan wins IC Title
John Cena def. Rusev
Sting def. Triple H
Rollins def. Orton
Reigns def. The reigning, defending, undisputed, WWE World Heavyweight Champion Brock Lesnar..

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Really hoping Ziggler or Ambrose wins the IC title instead of Bryan, really.
Hell, I'd prefer any of the people in that match to win it except Harper or Barrett. Colour me a hater.

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I'm gonna watch it live, I'm fortunate that a friend of mine has the network, and I can sleepy-function through my classes on Monday well enough.

Predictions/Ramblings

Battle Royale
I feel like this one will either be Ryback or Mizdow. Most likely Mizdow, I just like Ryback, really.

IC Ladders
Probably Bryan or Ziggler. Hopefully Bryan, but either of them would make sense and elevate the title's relevance.

Divas
I'd bet PaiJ win, but something happens and they start feuding again. I don't really care which way this one goes, I'm just looking forward to it, the Divas matches have been really good lately, in my opinion.

Rollins v. Orton
Kinda 50-50 here, and another match I'm just really looking forward to watching.

US Title
lolCenawins. The spots will probably be really good, though. I know a lot of people just plain have it in for Cena, but I'm neutral on him and think he and Rusev will be fun to watch.

Sting v. HHH
Either Sting will win, or he'll get DQ'd for using his bat but still beat the mess out of HHH for the sake of story.

Taker v. Wyatt
Taker will win, but "pass the mantle" to Wyatt, so he can just retire and rest in peace. I just can't see them letting Taker lose what (I think is) his last match ever. I think it's gonna be fun to watch, though.

Heavyweight Title
Earlier, I just figured Reigns would win because of Samoan-Cena magic, but since Bork retired from UFC, I feel like (read: hope) he retains for a little while. Don't get me wrong, I honestly do like Roman Reigns, but I don't really think he should be Champ.



All predictions made off of pure conjecture and extreme amounts of hype. I claim no accuracy or future-sight whatsoever.

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I reckon that having Bryan win it opens up the most storylines and hopefully brings the IC title up a bit (same with Cena, although I struggle seeing him in a midcard position).

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To be perfectly honest, I really have no interest in Taker v. Wyatt. Like, I love Undertaker - always have - but he shouldn't be getting into the ring at this point. He's a shell of his former self. A cracked shell that shouldn't take any more cracks. And on top of that, he's facing Husky fuckin' Harris. I have no hope for this match.
Only match that has my interest is Sting v. HHH, but I already know that it's going to be sluggish and slow like most post-2000 HHH matches.
Here's hoping I'm gonna be swept off my feet. If not, I'm migrating to NJPW.

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Congrats to LE YES MAN on winning the midcard title, I await him losing it in 2-3 weeks.

Only thing that was interesting so far was watching Triple H bury WCW forever.

Append: CENAWINSLOL
AND THE UNITED STATES TITLE STILL MEANS NOTHING

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Mother of God, that Mania was amazing!

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Great Wrestlemania minus CENAWINSLOL. Fantastic ending to the main event as well. Funny how great the show can be even with such a terrible buildup.

Such a good Wrestlemania. I don't think HHH should have gone over though but it was definitely fun to see DX and nWo finally go at it. And that was an awesome ending.

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Not gonna lie; I don't see what was so great about WrestleMania. The one match I was hyped for was extraordinarily poor, and the rest was uninteresting filler. Not even Rusev in a fucking TANK could've saved this one.

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I was probably the only one in the universe who rooted for Roman Reigns when he fought Brock Lesnar.

Here's what would've been interesting IF Seth Rollins would've never cashed in at Wrestlemania: Tomorrow night on RAW, Brock Lesnar says some type of goodbye speech and actually respecting the fans, then Roman Reigns comes in and brawls with Brock Lesnar, pulling off a double face-heel turn, and then Brock Lesnar (being the tough guy he is) begins a series of suplexes to Roman Reigns, then Dean Ambrose helps Roman Reigns beat down Brock Lesnar, then Seth Rollins enters the ring (at this point, people are expecting Seth Rollins to help Brock) and then Seth curb stomps Brock, then the Shield reunites and triple powerbombs Brock, then Seth Rollins cashes in the Money in the Bank Briefcase. Now THAT would've been a clever idea!

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The main event in one gif...

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I went through the liberty of rating the matches as the show went on. Yep, even the pre-show matches.

1: Tyson Kidd and Cesaro win Fatal 4 Way for WWE Tag Team Meme Belts (6/10)
2: Big Show wins the Andre the Giant Battle Royal, what a fucking shocker (pre-show piss break and food+drink prep/10)
3: Daniel Bryan wins the prestigious WWE Midcard fo' life Championship in a Chutes and Ladder match. Good for you buddy. Now if only the WWE would bring back the European Championship, you could win that one! (5/10)
4: Randy Savage Orton beats Seth Rollins, best match of the night so far, that was not a hard thing to accomplish. (6/10)
5: TRIPLLLLLLLE HAITCH buries the entire roster of WCW, but mostly Sting. This would have been a dream match...some 10-12 years ago. Now it's like retirement home wrestling, and the HD really shows the wrinkles. That's bad for business. (3/10)
6: AJ Lee and Paige beat the Bella Twins. It's a Divas match, it's 6 minutes long, you know the rules, and so do I. (piss break/10)
7: John Cena (USA) overcomes the odds to beat Rusev (RUS/BGR/whatever I don't care at this point), winning the most prized belt in the WWE, the United States Championship. I wanted Rusev to win, if for no other reason than because he brought a bloody tank down the entrance ramp. Fuck this company. (CENAWINSLOL/10)
Intermission: The Rock and some girl wearing an "It's over 9000!" shirt stood in the ring for about an hour with HHH and Steph so that Wyatt can nurse his injury in time to job super hard to the Undertaker. I dozed off at one point, so this must not have been good for business. (Stop hosting Wrestlemania outdoors you fucks, THE SUN IS NOT COOPERATIVE AND CARES LITTLE FOR MANDRAMA/10)
8: Undertaker wins. This was a bad match, flat out. Someone tell Wyatt that bringing a lit lantern out to the arena is a nice gimmick when you're NOT OUTSIDE IN THE DAYLIGHT. (4/10)
9: SETH ROLLINS SAVES WRESTLING, ROMAN REIGNS IS SHIT, BORK IS IN HIS BORK HOLE SUPLEXING ROCKS. Everything turned out better than expected, best outcome possible. Great end to an otherwise meh show. (9/10)

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Mania this year was like having two really good pieces of bread but having really bad meat in the middle. I would not say it was better than last year's show but it was much better than I thought it was going to be. I might do match reviews another time but overall I give the event 7/10. I will say they did the Seth Rollins cash in perfectly.

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ROLLINS IS CHAMPION
ROLLINS IS CHAMPION
ROLLINS IS CHAMPION
ROLLINS IS CHAMPION
ROLLINS IS CHAMPION
ROLLINS IS CHAMPION
ROLLINS IS CHAMPION
ROLLINS IS CHAMPION

append; triple h's terminator intro was the most ridiculous thing ever, I forgot to mention

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AJ Lee retired from professional wrestling today. Discuss.
Twitter user PlayerTypeZero put it best: "AJ Lee retires undefeated at Wrestlemania while Undertaker does not. WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW?"

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Despite the state of the divas division at the moment, AJ has made a great impact during her tenure there. Wishing her the best.

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DANIEL BRYAN IS BLEEDING BAH GOD KING

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