Ctrl+V Thread

Once upon a time there was a very evil Count in the Kingdom and he liked to steal things. Eventually, the Sheriff realized that the Count was the thief and he decided to interrogate him. In the old days, this amounted to the Count being tied up with his head on a chopping block and the Sheriff bringing a henchman with a giant Hatchet who would threatened to cut off his head:
And the Sheriff said, "Tell me where you put the stolen goods!"

And the count said, "I don't know what you're talking about!"

The sheriff gestured to the henchman who raised up the Hatchet.

And the Sheriff said, "This is your last chance, where are the stolen goods?"

And the count said, "I don't know!"

So the sheriff gestured to the henchman, who swung the hatchet and right before it hit the Count he said, "Wait! I'll Talk!" but WHACK and his head was chopped off and it rolled away.

And do you know what is the moral of the story?

"Don't hatchet your counts before they've chickened!"

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/64653451

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A farmer was milking his cow. He was just starting to get a good rhythm going when a bug flew into the barn and started circling his head. Suddenly, the bug flew into the cow's ear. The farmer didn't think much about it, until the bug squirted out into his bucket. It went in one ear and out the udder.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/64686217

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7EC996

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nPpLdZDzOEg

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https://fxtwitter.com/C0WB0YBLUES/status/1913848155453686031

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https://music.apple.com/us/album/elevator-music-zack-fox-dj-mix/1763674368

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9fDhJ-2tDD4

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When scientists said the Universe is
made up of protons, neutrons
and electrons, they forgot to
mention morons.

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130759917

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A priest, a pastor and a rabbit entered a clinic to donate blood. The nurse asked the rabbit: "what's your blood type?" "I'm probably a type O", said the rabbit.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CIELYkfoKy8

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1D7015

What do you get when you toss a hand grenade into a French bathroom?

Linoleum Blownapart.

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cutekeyboard123

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ă

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I asked an electrician to fix an electrical issue at my house.

He refused

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https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daedalian_Opus

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