Let It Out

Ah yes, a fond memory indeed. My first sexual encounter was with three burly eastern European women that spoke little to no English, their names were Svinka, Shvelvma, and Schvitz 'the cavern' (her nickname). I was but a young lad, at the ripe and curious age of 14, lost on the mean streets of downtown Fargo, ND. The three women approached me, asking if I was looking for a good time, I remember Shvelvma had a lazy eye and a dead tooth; causing her breath to reek of death and decay. It being cold out, and me not knowing where to go or when the next time I would eat, mistook their offer as an invitation to dinner or perhaps a warm place to sleep that night. I gladly took up on their offer, whisking myself onto Svinka's massive (and pleasantly hairy) back as they trode uphill to their mountaintop cabin, a cabin made of life-sized lincoln logs (and what I suspect was maple syrup as a bonding agent [note: it could have been marmalade, confirmation later]). Once inside, Schvitz lit a fire and the three proceeded to undress themselves to my confusing surprise. They offered me a bowl of marshmallow peeps soaked in gin, stating that it would help me loosen up. Needless to say, after the first seven peeps, I puked my brains out. After nursing my tender stomach for some time over the toilet bowl, Shvelvma came to offer me solace in my time of sickening darkness in the form of a bottle of sambuca. That did not help me at all and I continued to puke as all three burly eastern European women massaged my back and buttocks, soothing me with encouraging words to aid me through my vomiting.

After that I blacked out and woke up the next morning wearing Schvitz and Svinka as gloves. There was a large stitching along my side and I was feeling quite light-headed. Aside from my hands being all pruney and smelly, for the next two weeks I would occasionally cough up or remove a curly black hair or two from my teeth or throat, keep in mind my natural hair color is red. I haven't had sex since that fateful night. My hands still smell to this day, no amount of soap will ever get it out I fear.