Post #141 · Posted at 2016-04-03 07:38:11pm 9.2 years ago
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Post #142 · Posted at 2016-04-03 08:23:34pm 9.2 years ago
| xXMokou98Xx | |
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Wrestlemania drinking game
-every time Roman Reigns gets boo'd
-botched move
-kick out of a finisher
-announcers shill the network
-brock lesnar suplex
-divas match goes over 10 minutes, drink a whole glass. that goes for both divas matches.
-shane mcmahon throws a terrible punch
-surprise return
-roman reigns superman punch
-any mention of "overcoming the odds"
-the new day mention the word "booty"
-someone goes through ye olde spanish announcer table
-ladder or table breaks during the ladder match
goodbye cruel world
Post #143 · Posted at 2016-04-03 08:26:20pm 9.2 years ago
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Last updated: 2016-04-03 08:27pm
Quote: xXMokou98Xx
Wrestlemania drinking game
-every time Roman Reigns gets boo'd
-botched move
-kick out of a finisher
-announcers shill the network
-brock lesnar suplex
-divas match goes over 10 minutes, drink a whole glass. that goes for both divas matches.
-shane mcmahon throws a terrible punch
-surprise return
-roman reigns superman punch
-any mention of "overcoming the odds"
-the new day mention the word "booty"
-someone goes through ye olde spanish announcer table
-ladder or table breaks during the ladder match
goodbye cruel world
Also;
-Down your drink if ANYONE gives a shit about the 5v5 divas match, OR the Uso/Dudleys match
-Take two shots for every run-in in the shane/taker match
-Drink everytime Ambrose drags himself up in an exaggerated way
-Drink for every minute of the inevitable Rock promo
-Drink everytime you remember that this garbage is considered superior to NXT
-If Ambrose wins clean, take up heroin instead
Post #144 · Posted at 2016-04-03 09:33:29pm 9.2 years ago
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I'm going to predict that the street fight starts off relatively early in the show, and the match somehow spills out of the arena, then the event will continue with subsequent matches until the hell in a cell match, then ambrose and lesnar miraculously show up in the middle of the hell in a cell match, lesnar f5s taker, then f5s ambrose, and a double pin concludes both matches, shane pins taker and lesnar pins ambrose. kinda far fetched, but wwe has pulled off sillier crap.
Post #145 · Posted at 2016-04-03 09:35:57pm 9.2 years ago
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Fucking loved that promo for Lesnar/Ambrose
Post #146 · Posted at 2016-04-04 03:08:26am 9.2 years ago
Wrestlemania: Muh Dad Matches Edition
Rules are simple: drink when things happen. I'll be sick by the time Roman gets boo'd out of Dallas.
PRESHOW SHIT:
Kalisto vs Bane (US Championship) - If I pull that mask off will you die/5
YOU'RE A BIG GUY
I like to think that Whole Grain Scoops are better than regular Tostitos Scoops, not as much salt and they go better with dip. Most Whole Grain chips are better just because they tend to have less salt and I feel like you're less tempted to eat more because of that. Anyway, Kalisto won and nobody gives a shit about this match.
Team Total Divas (Brie Bella, Paige, Natalya, Alicia Fox and Eva Marie) vs Team B.A.D. and Blonde (Lana, Naomi, Tamina, Emma and Summer Rae) - Botchamania/5
YOU ARE THE BOTCHING QUEEN, YOUNG AND SWEET, ONLY TWENTY THREE
11 minutes of "wrestling" and botches, and I swear Paige fucked up some sort of spot every minute. So did everyone else, but she was botching like it was her side job. Total Divas team won somehow, can't explain it.
The Usos vs The Dudley Boyz - Wrap it up boys/5
YOU GET 5 MINUTES
Nothing to note besides a table breaking in underwhelming fashion, and then Jey superkicked D-Von to setup the pinfall. ON WITH THE SHOW.
Oh, and there's an actual fucking Women's Title Belt now. Fucking finally. Still a boring division.
THE ACTUAL SHOW:
Kevin Owens (c) vs Zack Ryder, Dolph Ziggler, Sami Zayn, Sin Cara, Stardust and The Miz (IC Ladder Match) - 2/5
WOO WOO WOO
I guess you could call that WWE's way of apologizing for killing Ryder's career for 3 years. Now he's back and has some momentum again, so maybe he can keep it this time. It wasn't that good of a match overall, the spots were pretty average and considering Ryder and Zayn were there I thought there would be a lot more action but that's just me. Whatever, good first match.
Chris Jercho vs AJ Styles - 2.5/5
MY SUBMISSION DAD CAN BEAT UP YOUR SUBMISSION DAD
A showcase of using the same 3 finishers 5 times over and over and over again along with weak punches and like 20 restholds. This match set the tone of the whole show by making me think the person that should win would actually win, and then pulling a bullshit swerve, when Styles went up to the top rope for yet another attempted finisher, Jericho pushed the ref out of the way and landed a clean as fuck Codebreaker for the win. Piss off.
League of Nations vs The New Day - 2/5
ANIME WAS A MISTAKE
New Day came out dressed as Saiyans, immediately this doomed them cause Saiyans in the series lose all the time. There were times when this was reminiscent of a squash match, League of Nations never really struggled, but I guess that's because the title belts weren't on the line so The New Day had no reason to try. On RAW it would have been great, for Wrestlemania it's just ok.
Gets a bonus 0.5 for Shawn Michaels, Mick Foley, and Steve Austin appearing afterwards and killing everyone.
Brock Lesnar vs Dean Ambrose (No Holds Barred Street Match) - -1/5
YOU CAN FIGHT OUTSIDE IN A NO HOLDS BARRED MATCH DAMMIT
One of the most hyped matches on the card, one that a lot of people were really looking forward to watching. That was a letdown to say the least. I know brock only has like three moves, but besides suplexes, he didn't do much of anything. There should have been so much more room to do more stuff outside the ring with the weapons, instead they just kept it all in the ring and end it on what felt like a rush job finish.
Charlotte vs Becky Lynch vs Sasha Banks (Vacant Women's Championship) - 4/5
THE BEST MATCH OF THE NIGHT
You know, considering the quality of the card, I guess I shouldn't be surprised this was the best match of the night. I just wasn't expecting all the spots to be so good and for the women to put on an impressive technical performance. Anyone that missed it really should go see the highlights. Great match overall, let's keep it short.
Shane McMahon vs The Undertaker - 3.5/5
DAD MATCH TO THE DEATH
Slow start, but this was really good. Match got better as it went on, and the spots got crazier too. Shane went all out, Coast to Coast, Sharp Shooter out of nowhere, and The Undertaker threw out a bunch of finishers early on. Went outside the cage and beat each other down before Shane set up Undertaker on the Spanish announce desk for the grand spot--20 foot jump from the top of the cage. The Undertaker moved out of the way and Shane slammed into the table, damn near killed himself. Action went back inside, Undertaker landed a Tombstone Piledriver for the pin, great match with a huge spot.
Andre The Giant 30 Man Battle Royal - 2/5
A BIG DUMB GIMMICK MATCH TO CAP OFF MY NIGHT OF DRINKING AND REGRET
Nothing says Battle Royal like Shaq and Big Show standing in a ring for 2 minutes doing nothing. And then being pushed out. The rest was ok, it's just that somehow they manage to eliminate 29 people in less than 10 minutes so it can't be that interesting. Baron Corbin won, so at least something good came out of it.
Rock/Wyatts/John Cena segment - we need to fill time/just have them talk a lot or something
Triple H vs Roman Reigns (WWE Championship) - 1/5
I JUST DON'T CARE ANYMORE, I CAN'T BE ARSED
I'm going to bed, but i'll assume Reigns won in some stupid way where he overcame the odds and landed a silly Superman punch and got the pin.
Rules are simple: drink when things happen. I'll be sick by the time Roman gets boo'd out of Dallas.
PRESHOW SHIT:
Kalisto vs Bane (US Championship) - If I pull that mask off will you die/5
YOU'RE A BIG GUY
I like to think that Whole Grain Scoops are better than regular Tostitos Scoops, not as much salt and they go better with dip. Most Whole Grain chips are better just because they tend to have less salt and I feel like you're less tempted to eat more because of that. Anyway, Kalisto won and nobody gives a shit about this match.
Team Total Divas (Brie Bella, Paige, Natalya, Alicia Fox and Eva Marie) vs Team B.A.D. and Blonde (Lana, Naomi, Tamina, Emma and Summer Rae) - Botchamania/5
YOU ARE THE BOTCHING QUEEN, YOUNG AND SWEET, ONLY TWENTY THREE
11 minutes of "wrestling" and botches, and I swear Paige fucked up some sort of spot every minute. So did everyone else, but she was botching like it was her side job. Total Divas team won somehow, can't explain it.
The Usos vs The Dudley Boyz - Wrap it up boys/5
YOU GET 5 MINUTES
Nothing to note besides a table breaking in underwhelming fashion, and then Jey superkicked D-Von to setup the pinfall. ON WITH THE SHOW.
Oh, and there's an actual fucking Women's Title Belt now. Fucking finally. Still a boring division.
THE ACTUAL SHOW:
Kevin Owens (c) vs Zack Ryder, Dolph Ziggler, Sami Zayn, Sin Cara, Stardust and The Miz (IC Ladder Match) - 2/5
WOO WOO WOO
I guess you could call that WWE's way of apologizing for killing Ryder's career for 3 years. Now he's back and has some momentum again, so maybe he can keep it this time. It wasn't that good of a match overall, the spots were pretty average and considering Ryder and Zayn were there I thought there would be a lot more action but that's just me. Whatever, good first match.
Chris Jercho vs AJ Styles - 2.5/5
MY SUBMISSION DAD CAN BEAT UP YOUR SUBMISSION DAD
A showcase of using the same 3 finishers 5 times over and over and over again along with weak punches and like 20 restholds. This match set the tone of the whole show by making me think the person that should win would actually win, and then pulling a bullshit swerve, when Styles went up to the top rope for yet another attempted finisher, Jericho pushed the ref out of the way and landed a clean as fuck Codebreaker for the win. Piss off.
League of Nations vs The New Day - 2/5
ANIME WAS A MISTAKE
New Day came out dressed as Saiyans, immediately this doomed them cause Saiyans in the series lose all the time. There were times when this was reminiscent of a squash match, League of Nations never really struggled, but I guess that's because the title belts weren't on the line so The New Day had no reason to try. On RAW it would have been great, for Wrestlemania it's just ok.
Gets a bonus 0.5 for Shawn Michaels, Mick Foley, and Steve Austin appearing afterwards and killing everyone.
Brock Lesnar vs Dean Ambrose (No Holds Barred Street Match) - -1/5
YOU CAN FIGHT OUTSIDE IN A NO HOLDS BARRED MATCH DAMMIT
One of the most hyped matches on the card, one that a lot of people were really looking forward to watching. That was a letdown to say the least. I know brock only has like three moves, but besides suplexes, he didn't do much of anything. There should have been so much more room to do more stuff outside the ring with the weapons, instead they just kept it all in the ring and end it on what felt like a rush job finish.
Charlotte vs Becky Lynch vs Sasha Banks (Vacant Women's Championship) - 4/5
THE BEST MATCH OF THE NIGHT
You know, considering the quality of the card, I guess I shouldn't be surprised this was the best match of the night. I just wasn't expecting all the spots to be so good and for the women to put on an impressive technical performance. Anyone that missed it really should go see the highlights. Great match overall, let's keep it short.
Shane McMahon vs The Undertaker - 3.5/5
DAD MATCH TO THE DEATH
Slow start, but this was really good. Match got better as it went on, and the spots got crazier too. Shane went all out, Coast to Coast, Sharp Shooter out of nowhere, and The Undertaker threw out a bunch of finishers early on. Went outside the cage and beat each other down before Shane set up Undertaker on the Spanish announce desk for the grand spot--20 foot jump from the top of the cage. The Undertaker moved out of the way and Shane slammed into the table, damn near killed himself. Action went back inside, Undertaker landed a Tombstone Piledriver for the pin, great match with a huge spot.
Andre The Giant 30 Man Battle Royal - 2/5
A BIG DUMB GIMMICK MATCH TO CAP OFF MY NIGHT OF DRINKING AND REGRET
Nothing says Battle Royal like Shaq and Big Show standing in a ring for 2 minutes doing nothing. And then being pushed out. The rest was ok, it's just that somehow they manage to eliminate 29 people in less than 10 minutes so it can't be that interesting. Baron Corbin won, so at least something good came out of it.
Rock/Wyatts/John Cena segment - we need to fill time/just have them talk a lot or something
Triple H vs Roman Reigns (WWE Championship) - 1/5
I JUST DON'T CARE ANYMORE, I CAN'T BE ARSED
I'm going to bed, but i'll assume Reigns won in some stupid way where he overcame the odds and landed a silly Superman punch and got the pin.
Post #147 · Posted at 2016-04-04 04:53:58am 9.2 years ago
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might do a review later today/tomorrow/whenever because that was an event
spoilers: #GetToTheMainEventAlreadyMania was okay. best match of the night, surprisingly, was Taker v. Shane.
spoilers: #GetToTheMainEventAlreadyMania was okay. best match of the night, surprisingly, was Taker v. Shane.
Post #148 · Posted at 2016-04-04 04:56:00am 9.2 years ago
WWE has lost a fan in me. Quickman and xXMokou98Xx, do me a favor and tell me if anything big happens. I'm cancelling the WWE network and I'm not watching their shows anymore.
Anyways, I should be reviewing WrestleMania 32 AKA the final WWE show I'll EVER review, until something big happens.
Pre Show
Match: Kalisto vs. Ryback for the USA Championship
Result: LOLKALISTOWINS
My comment: I don't believe this little bitch can actually beat Ryback. He must've enabled some real life Action Replay Game Shark codes to pull off a victory.
Match: Total Divas Cast (Sexyass Paige, Bella with terrible entrance theme, Red Head Cunt, Alicia Simba, and Barney Hart) vs. Team Terrible and Blind (Rachet Black Woman, Tamina Flinstone, Sexyass Summer Rae, Sexyass Lana, and Sexyass Emma)
Result: Total Divas Cast wins because yeah.
My comment: I would get engaged with Summer Rae if I was in my 30's.
Match: The OOOOOOOOOSOS vs. Dudley Senior Citizenz
Result: LOLUSOSWINS
My comment: The Dudleys ambushed them and got cheered at. LOL nobody felt like seeing the fucking Usos bury another tag team.
Main Show
Match: 7-Man ladder match for the Intercontinental Championship
Result: Zack Ryder unexpectedly wins! Holy shit, I was surprised for once!
My comment: This was one of the couple good things that happened in this show.
Match: AJ Styles vs. Evil Chris Jericho
Result: Jericho wins.
My comment: GOOD. These TNA mother fuckers don't deserve much.
Match: Super Saiyan New Day vs. the League of Nations
Result: Xavier Woods got brogue kicked and lost. I liked this result, until Wade Barrett had to jinx the League of Nations. The jinxing was so bad, Shawn Michaels, Mick Foley, and Stone Cold Steve Austin all returned in the ring and beat them up. The New Day celebrated with the Legends, until Stone Cold Steve Austin stunned Xavier Woods. LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
My comment: I'm glad the New Day lost, and I'm glad Xavier Woods's annoying ass was beat up the most.
Match: Crazy Taxi vs. Level 99 Bork Laser
Result: Bork Laser wins, and has enough experience to gain another level! Level up, to 100!
My comment: It's matches like this and videos like this that makes me think to myself "Brock Lesnar is a destructive retard."
Match: Triple Threat for the /"debuting"/ Women's Championship, between Sasha Dogg vs. Sexyass Becky Lynch vs. Cunt
Result: LOLCHARLOTTEWINS
My comment: I wish Dean Ambrose would come to my house with that Chainsaw and slice open my neck. Suicide is the only solution to end this tragically stupid event.
Match: Shane McMahon vs. Undertaker
Result: LOLUNDERTAKERWINS
My comment: The Authority continues, the Undertaker's career continues, and Vince McMahon disowns Shane McMahon. Great fucking idea. Also LOL fans started leaving the stadium after this match!
Match: Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal III
Result: Shaq, DDP, and Tatanka all returned. Baron Corbin DEBUTED in this Match and WINS the Match.
My comment: I really wanted Mark Henry to win, but whatever.
Match: The Rock vs. Erick Rowan
Result: The Rock wins in 6 seconds, by simply just Rock Bottoming Erick Rowan then winning the Match. After winning the Match, the Wyatts tries to jump the Rock, and I'm thinking to myself "Someone is saving him." .....AND HIS NAME IS JOHN CENA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My comment: At this point, it exceeded the 4 hour point. The show had to extend for one more hour, because the Rock didn't know how to shut the fuck up.
Match: Roman Reigns vs. Shao Kahn for the WWE Championship
Result: ROMAN REIGNS SPEARS STEPHANIE THEN WINS!!!
My comment: I believed in Roman Reigns, unlike all of you! I'll admit the Match needed to fucking hurry up, but it was worth it in the end.
I'm taking TWO anxiety pills tonight because of this show. I'm done with the WWE. I thought they were gonna pull some good shit out of their asses to increase ratings, but I was wrong.
Anyways, I should be reviewing WrestleMania 32 AKA the final WWE show I'll EVER review, until something big happens.
Pre Show
Match: Kalisto vs. Ryback for the USA Championship
Result: LOLKALISTOWINS
My comment: I don't believe this little bitch can actually beat Ryback. He must've enabled some real life Action Replay Game Shark codes to pull off a victory.
Match: Total Divas Cast (Sexyass Paige, Bella with terrible entrance theme, Red Head Cunt, Alicia Simba, and Barney Hart) vs. Team Terrible and Blind (Rachet Black Woman, Tamina Flinstone, Sexyass Summer Rae, Sexyass Lana, and Sexyass Emma)
Result: Total Divas Cast wins because yeah.
My comment: I would get engaged with Summer Rae if I was in my 30's.
Match: The OOOOOOOOOSOS vs. Dudley Senior Citizenz
Result: LOLUSOSWINS
My comment: The Dudleys ambushed them and got cheered at. LOL nobody felt like seeing the fucking Usos bury another tag team.
Main Show
Match: 7-Man ladder match for the Intercontinental Championship
Result: Zack Ryder unexpectedly wins! Holy shit, I was surprised for once!
My comment: This was one of the couple good things that happened in this show.
Match: AJ Styles vs. Evil Chris Jericho
Result: Jericho wins.
My comment: GOOD. These TNA mother fuckers don't deserve much.
Match: Super Saiyan New Day vs. the League of Nations
Result: Xavier Woods got brogue kicked and lost. I liked this result, until Wade Barrett had to jinx the League of Nations. The jinxing was so bad, Shawn Michaels, Mick Foley, and Stone Cold Steve Austin all returned in the ring and beat them up. The New Day celebrated with the Legends, until Stone Cold Steve Austin stunned Xavier Woods. LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
My comment: I'm glad the New Day lost, and I'm glad Xavier Woods's annoying ass was beat up the most.
Match: Crazy Taxi vs. Level 99 Bork Laser
Result: Bork Laser wins, and has enough experience to gain another level! Level up, to 100!
My comment: It's matches like this and videos like this that makes me think to myself "Brock Lesnar is a destructive retard."
Match: Triple Threat for the /"debuting"/ Women's Championship, between Sasha Dogg vs. Sexyass Becky Lynch vs. Cunt
Result: LOLCHARLOTTEWINS
My comment: I wish Dean Ambrose would come to my house with that Chainsaw and slice open my neck. Suicide is the only solution to end this tragically stupid event.
Match: Shane McMahon vs. Undertaker
Result: LOLUNDERTAKERWINS
My comment: The Authority continues, the Undertaker's career continues, and Vince McMahon disowns Shane McMahon. Great fucking idea. Also LOL fans started leaving the stadium after this match!
Match: Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal III
Result: Shaq, DDP, and Tatanka all returned. Baron Corbin DEBUTED in this Match and WINS the Match.
My comment: I really wanted Mark Henry to win, but whatever.
Match: The Rock vs. Erick Rowan
Result: The Rock wins in 6 seconds, by simply just Rock Bottoming Erick Rowan then winning the Match. After winning the Match, the Wyatts tries to jump the Rock, and I'm thinking to myself "Someone is saving him." .....AND HIS NAME IS JOHN CENA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My comment: At this point, it exceeded the 4 hour point. The show had to extend for one more hour, because the Rock didn't know how to shut the fuck up.
Match: Roman Reigns vs. Shao Kahn for the WWE Championship
Result: ROMAN REIGNS SPEARS STEPHANIE THEN WINS!!!
My comment: I believed in Roman Reigns, unlike all of you! I'll admit the Match needed to fucking hurry up, but it was worth it in the end.
I'm taking TWO anxiety pills tonight because of this show. I'm done with the WWE. I thought they were gonna pull some good shit out of their asses to increase ratings, but I was wrong.
Post #149 · Posted at 2016-04-04 02:29:27pm 9.2 years ago
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Yikes, this show.
First off the internet gets thrown a bone and Ryder wins after a pretty great ladder match, no problem. But then Jericho pins Styles because, just like Sting, someone who made a huge name for themselves elsewhere will truly never get a big time shot in current WWE. Styles deserves so much better.
Next the L.O.N. beat the New Day, though belts were not on the line, thank God. The thing is, there was no reason for New Day to lose, like it makes them look weak going into RAW tonight where there will be (probably) a new challenger, it's not like the L.O.N. will continue to feud with them, it was just dumb booking.
Lesnar/Ambrose, what a tragedy. Hyped up as this big hardcore match between two brutal ass-kickers, and all we get is a bunch of Suplexes (The most annoying shtick ever), sticks, and a couple chairs. Barely even qualifies as a "No Holds Barred" match, super disappointing.
Women's (FINALLY I can say that) match was fantastic but Charlotte winning was also just a bad decision. My only thought behind it is that she has been the most outspoken on social media about changing the name to "Womens."
Undertaker/Shane was fine, but after letting Shane shit all over the product live on TV, you'd think seeds were really being planted for change but NOPE. Same old, same old.
Most may not agree with me, but I like Corbin (Granted, he's gotten way better the last couple months) and I'm super happy he won the Battle Royale. Not sure what will become of it, but thank God it wasn't Kane or Big Show again.
Rock/Rowan was the dumbest thing I've ever seen. How ever will the Wyatt Family be taken seriously when they lose ALL THE TIME and you have a dude the size of Rowan get beaten by one move by the Rock? Being a Wyatt fan is painful.
Main event...we all knew this was coming. We hoped not, but we knew. No shenanigans, no surprises, no turns, just straight up Vince getting what Vince wants and shitting all over us fans in the process.
In summary:
-Ryder wins (Fans are happy)
-Jericho wins (Fans are unhappy)
-L.O.N. wins (Fans are super unhappy)
-Lesnar wins (Fans are extremely unhappy)
-Charlotte wins (Fans are super pissed)
-Undertaker wins (Fans are extremely super pissed)
-Corbin wins (Fans get just a slight glimmer of happiness)
-Rock buries Rowan (Fans collectively sigh)
-Reigns wins (Fans go home and kill themselves)
It's like all the booking in this show was to not resolve any stoylines, keep everything the same, and just straight up middle finger right to all of us.
First off the internet gets thrown a bone and Ryder wins after a pretty great ladder match, no problem. But then Jericho pins Styles because, just like Sting, someone who made a huge name for themselves elsewhere will truly never get a big time shot in current WWE. Styles deserves so much better.
Next the L.O.N. beat the New Day, though belts were not on the line, thank God. The thing is, there was no reason for New Day to lose, like it makes them look weak going into RAW tonight where there will be (probably) a new challenger, it's not like the L.O.N. will continue to feud with them, it was just dumb booking.
Lesnar/Ambrose, what a tragedy. Hyped up as this big hardcore match between two brutal ass-kickers, and all we get is a bunch of Suplexes (The most annoying shtick ever), sticks, and a couple chairs. Barely even qualifies as a "No Holds Barred" match, super disappointing.
Women's (FINALLY I can say that) match was fantastic but Charlotte winning was also just a bad decision. My only thought behind it is that she has been the most outspoken on social media about changing the name to "Womens."
Undertaker/Shane was fine, but after letting Shane shit all over the product live on TV, you'd think seeds were really being planted for change but NOPE. Same old, same old.
Most may not agree with me, but I like Corbin (Granted, he's gotten way better the last couple months) and I'm super happy he won the Battle Royale. Not sure what will become of it, but thank God it wasn't Kane or Big Show again.
Rock/Rowan was the dumbest thing I've ever seen. How ever will the Wyatt Family be taken seriously when they lose ALL THE TIME and you have a dude the size of Rowan get beaten by one move by the Rock? Being a Wyatt fan is painful.
Main event...we all knew this was coming. We hoped not, but we knew. No shenanigans, no surprises, no turns, just straight up Vince getting what Vince wants and shitting all over us fans in the process.
In summary:
-Ryder wins (Fans are happy)
-Jericho wins (Fans are unhappy)
-L.O.N. wins (Fans are super unhappy)
-Lesnar wins (Fans are extremely unhappy)
-Charlotte wins (Fans are super pissed)
-Undertaker wins (Fans are extremely super pissed)
-Corbin wins (Fans get just a slight glimmer of happiness)
-Rock buries Rowan (Fans collectively sigh)
-Reigns wins (Fans go home and kill themselves)
It's like all the booking in this show was to not resolve any stoylines, keep everything the same, and just straight up middle finger right to all of us.
Post #150 · Posted at 2016-04-04 04:09:08pm 9.2 years ago
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Last updated: 2016-04-04 04:11pm
Ham your review is terrible, and I can do it better *DING*
Match: LU-CHA, LU-CHA #1 v. Large Man for the US Title
Result: Little Guy gets the pin. Thank god.
Rating: 6/10. Match was okay. Nothing good, nothing bad.. Ryback was fucking annoying as per usual, and Kalisto did some flippy shit to put him away.
Match: Team Reality TV v. Lana and some other people
Result: I went for a piss. Reality TV won, I guess.
Rating: 3.5/10. After rewatching the match, I'm glad I chose this one for the bathroom break. This was pretty boring. Predictable YES! Lock ended the match.
Match: Roman Reigns' Mean Street Posse v. Table Guys
Result: US. OHHHHH.
Rating: 2.5/10. Good GOD what the fuck happened here? It was like watching a CPU v. CPU match in an old SvR game. Superkick, superkick, superkick, the end. Then tables happened, because YouTriedToGetUsToCareAndFailed.avi.
Match: Super Ladder Match 2 Turbo HD Remix for IC Title
Result: Ryder wins! Who the fuck expected that one?
Rating: 8.5/10. This match was a lot of fun to watch. The Owens/Zayn scrapping got the crowd going from the very off, Stardust grabs a Dusty-esque ladder, Sin Cara is put through Stardust AND a ladder, and a big shock happened in Zack Ryder grabbing the belt! Unexpected? Yes. Unwanted? No. Loved this one.
Match: Jericho / AJ
Result: Jericho wins. And WWE laughed about it.
Rating: 8/10. While a solid match (that 450 splash by AJ will be remembered by many) I simply can't get over the fact that Jericho took it. Not only that, the Styles Clash was buried once again. Not the kick-start that AJ deserved in WWE.
Match: The Ginyu Force v. The Lads for the Tag Team titles. Or maybe they're not for the Tag Team titles. K then.
Result: The Lads win. Wait, fucking really?
Rating: 7/10. Shawn Michaels, Mick Foley, and Steve Austin then proceeded to come out in this match... instead of, y'know, one where their presence would actually make sense, and fucked shit up. Fun for all. Oh, and Xavier ate a Stunner. Poor man can't catch a break.
Match: Guy Who Really Needed A Big Win v. Bear In A Man Suit
Result: Lesnar wins. This made Lesnar look pretty strong, but SO DOES DAYLIGHT. Ambrose deserved a huge win here, and didn't get it. Typical.
Rating: 8/10. Shitty result aside, match was pretty good, if a little on the short side. Although it is a little physically exhausting to watch Ambrose writhe around the ring for twenty seconds every time he goes down. It's like he's 50.
Match: Ric Flair Girl v. Sheamus Girl v. Snoop Dogg Girl for the Divas No More Championship
Result: WOOOOOOOOOO
Rating: 7.5/10. Again, solid match, wrong outcome. Everyone wanted to see Sasha Banks walk away with the belt. Which, may I say, is a PROPER belt that looks like it actually belongs on a PROPER champion. Thank god for Lita.
Match: Shane O'Mac v. Old Guy
Result: Undertaker wins. Because Vince running RAW is so much fun.
Rating: 8/10. GOOD FUCKING GOD. This wasn't the best match in the world, but the sheer spectacle of THAT. FUCKING. DIVE will make this the most memorable match of the night, bar none. Also, Shane went coast to coast, put Taker in a triangle choke and got up after willingly jumping off the cell and going through the announce table. Don't give this man any heavy machinary to operate.
Match: The One That Ruins Everyone's Predictions
Result: Baron Corbin eliminates Kane last. Fucking good.
Rating: 5/10. WHY DID THIS GO ON AFTER SHANE/TAKER WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY THINKING
Match: Samoa Man v. Beard Man
Result: Surprised this wasn't just part of the promo
Rating: Fuck/Off. Match lasted 6 seconds. Cena came back after this. Who cares.
Match: Unlikeable Fuck v. Man Who Needs To Chill With The Entrances
Result: Clean Reigns win. Boos everywhere. I called it.
Rating: 6.5/10. It wasn't a BAD match, but the fact that this ended the show instead of Shane/Taker is a fucking joke. Also the crowd is now COMPLETELY sick of Roman, and Vince doesn't care anyway. Also Roman speared Steph, and NO ONE checked to see if she was okay because we're inconsistant. Suck a cock, Creative.
Match: LU-CHA, LU-CHA #1 v. Large Man for the US Title
Result: Little Guy gets the pin. Thank god.
Rating: 6/10. Match was okay. Nothing good, nothing bad.. Ryback was fucking annoying as per usual, and Kalisto did some flippy shit to put him away.
Match: Team Reality TV v. Lana and some other people
Result: I went for a piss. Reality TV won, I guess.
Rating: 3.5/10. After rewatching the match, I'm glad I chose this one for the bathroom break. This was pretty boring. Predictable YES! Lock ended the match.
Match: Roman Reigns' Mean Street Posse v. Table Guys
Result: US. OHHHHH.
Rating: 2.5/10. Good GOD what the fuck happened here? It was like watching a CPU v. CPU match in an old SvR game. Superkick, superkick, superkick, the end. Then tables happened, because YouTriedToGetUsToCareAndFailed.avi.
Match: Super Ladder Match 2 Turbo HD Remix for IC Title
Result: Ryder wins! Who the fuck expected that one?
Rating: 8.5/10. This match was a lot of fun to watch. The Owens/Zayn scrapping got the crowd going from the very off, Stardust grabs a Dusty-esque ladder, Sin Cara is put through Stardust AND a ladder, and a big shock happened in Zack Ryder grabbing the belt! Unexpected? Yes. Unwanted? No. Loved this one.
Match: Jericho / AJ
Result: Jericho wins. And WWE laughed about it.
Rating: 8/10. While a solid match (that 450 splash by AJ will be remembered by many) I simply can't get over the fact that Jericho took it. Not only that, the Styles Clash was buried once again. Not the kick-start that AJ deserved in WWE.
Match: The Ginyu Force v. The Lads for the Tag Team titles. Or maybe they're not for the Tag Team titles. K then.
Result: The Lads win. Wait, fucking really?
Rating: 7/10. Shawn Michaels, Mick Foley, and Steve Austin then proceeded to come out in this match... instead of, y'know, one where their presence would actually make sense, and fucked shit up. Fun for all. Oh, and Xavier ate a Stunner. Poor man can't catch a break.
Match: Guy Who Really Needed A Big Win v. Bear In A Man Suit
Result: Lesnar wins. This made Lesnar look pretty strong, but SO DOES DAYLIGHT. Ambrose deserved a huge win here, and didn't get it. Typical.
Rating: 8/10. Shitty result aside, match was pretty good, if a little on the short side. Although it is a little physically exhausting to watch Ambrose writhe around the ring for twenty seconds every time he goes down. It's like he's 50.
Match: Ric Flair Girl v. Sheamus Girl v. Snoop Dogg Girl for the Divas No More Championship
Result: WOOOOOOOOOO
Rating: 7.5/10. Again, solid match, wrong outcome. Everyone wanted to see Sasha Banks walk away with the belt. Which, may I say, is a PROPER belt that looks like it actually belongs on a PROPER champion. Thank god for Lita.
Match: Shane O'Mac v. Old Guy
Result: Undertaker wins. Because Vince running RAW is so much fun.
Rating: 8/10. GOOD FUCKING GOD. This wasn't the best match in the world, but the sheer spectacle of THAT. FUCKING. DIVE will make this the most memorable match of the night, bar none. Also, Shane went coast to coast, put Taker in a triangle choke and got up after willingly jumping off the cell and going through the announce table. Don't give this man any heavy machinary to operate.
Match: The One That Ruins Everyone's Predictions
Result: Baron Corbin eliminates Kane last. Fucking good.
Rating: 5/10. WHY DID THIS GO ON AFTER SHANE/TAKER WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY THINKING
Match: Samoa Man v. Beard Man
Result: Surprised this wasn't just part of the promo
Rating: Fuck/Off. Match lasted 6 seconds. Cena came back after this. Who cares.
Match: Unlikeable Fuck v. Man Who Needs To Chill With The Entrances
Result: Clean Reigns win. Boos everywhere. I called it.
Rating: 6.5/10. It wasn't a BAD match, but the fact that this ended the show instead of Shane/Taker is a fucking joke. Also the crowd is now COMPLETELY sick of Roman, and Vince doesn't care anyway. Also Roman speared Steph, and NO ONE checked to see if she was okay because we're inconsistant. Suck a cock, Creative.
Post #151 · Posted at 2016-04-04 06:30:09pm 9.2 years ago
| hamsand210-final | |
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After the fucking Undertaker won, fans started leaving that stadium. Lmao, not even the Rock could gain back the fans.
Post #152 · Posted at 2016-04-04 06:56:50pm 9.2 years ago
| Quickman | |
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| "five minute white boy challenge" | |
Post #153 · Posted at 2016-04-05 02:43:56am 9.2 years ago
| DMW7243 | |
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MY GOSH THAT DEBUT PROMO BY ENZO/CASS
Post #154 · Posted at 2016-04-05 02:47:58pm 9.2 years ago
| Quickman | |
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as per usual the raw after mania is far superior to mania
Post #155 · Posted at 2016-04-05 03:00:23pm 9.2 years ago
| RGTM | |
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"...I'd like to think that maybe this company would be better after Vince McMahon is dead."
- CM Punk, RAW, June 27, 2011
- CM Punk, RAW, June 27, 2011
Post #156 · Posted at 2016-04-12 09:20:12am 9.1 years ago
I thought I would give WWE another chance, so I read the results of RAW after Wrestlemania 32, Smackdown after Wrestlemania 32, and RAW last night. What did I learn from doing that? I learned that Zack Ryder was buried by an irrelevant superstar. I also learned that Charlotte is still the women's champion. *sigh* I don't regret taking a break from watching WWE.
In the bright side, Roman Reigns is the world champion, the Wyatt family are surprisingly doing good as faces now, and Apollo Crews is already on RAW and it hasn't even been a really long time since he debuted in NXT.
In the bright side, Roman Reigns is the world champion, the Wyatt family are surprisingly doing good as faces now, and Apollo Crews is already on RAW and it hasn't even been a really long time since he debuted in NXT.
Post #157 · Posted at 2016-04-12 04:03:52pm 9.1 years ago
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Last updated: 2016-04-12 04:04pm
"In the bright side"
"Roman Reigns is the world champion"
Pick one.
Styles needs to win at Payback or people are seriously going to stop watching RAW. Like him all you want, but the crowd boos will tell you how much people actually want the prick as champion. I think there's not a single person on the roster who wouldn't be cheered if they took the title from Roman. Including Jay Uso.
Also Zayn nearly broke his neck, roflmao dude needs to chill
"Roman Reigns is the world champion"
Pick one.
Styles needs to win at Payback or people are seriously going to stop watching RAW. Like him all you want, but the crowd boos will tell you how much people actually want the prick as champion. I think there's not a single person on the roster who wouldn't be cheered if they took the title from Roman. Including Jay Uso.
Also Zayn nearly broke his neck, roflmao dude needs to chill
Post #158 · Posted at 2016-04-12 04:23:38pm 9.1 years ago
| hamsand210-final | |
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I think Reigns is starting to turn heel, and keep the championship. On top of that, the Shield may reform really soon.
Post #159 · Posted at 2016-04-12 04:28:24pm 9.1 years ago
| Quickman | |
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The Shield has no reason to reform. We got three big stars out of it, there's no need to go back. A nostalgia match, maybe, but no full reformation of it. Considering that Reigns may be heel before Rollins even comes back, and Rollins is possibly going to be the most over face upon return, it wouldn't make any sense.
Post #160 · Posted at 2016-04-19 02:07:13am 9.1 years ago
Actually... I have a bold prediction. Maybe Reigns WILL stay face. Why? Because I believe AJ Styles is part of that "Bullet Club" thing. Luke Gallows and Karl Anderson attacked the Usos, indicating they're heels. Maybe they'll attack Reigns too at Payback, then that's when Rollins will return AS A FACE then reform the shield that way.
When the Shield does reform, they need to beat the shit out of Brock Lesnar.
EDIT: ARE THE VAUDEVILLAINS REALLY ON THE MAIN ROSTER?
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EDIT 2: according to Wiki, Sasha Banks was trained by Bryan Fury. LOL
When the Shield does reform, they need to beat the shit out of Brock Lesnar.
EDIT: ARE THE VAUDEVILLAINS REALLY ON THE MAIN ROSTER?
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EDIT 2: according to Wiki, Sasha Banks was trained by Bryan Fury. LOL