Let It Out

I just need to kinda type away what's eating me on the inside. They say just venting what's bothering you helps and they're right about that. So just please excuse this rambling fool here. Hope this is the right thread to do it in. If not, then I apologize.

A couple of days ago, my ex came into town, well... close to town. He's a truck driver so I don't really get to see him very much. So yesterday we spent some time together at the mall. Just walking around and such. I played a couple of rounds of DDR whilst he tried to attempt for the first time. Then I played a round of PPP. We both played Time Crises 2 but he had a crappy gun. If he had a working gun, he'd be kicking my ass. Then again he was an army man. Heheh. Was always something I loved about him. So after all that hanging around, he showed me the "new" truck. It wasn't really new, just something they gave him as a replacement. His other truck was a lot nicer though.

Now I get home and I just get this feeling deep down in my stomach that I just don't know what it is. I mean... It feels like deep down I don't exist in the world anymore. When I look around it feels like I'm watching the world through someone else's eyes or just like if I was watching a movie or something. Like my head is in a fog but I can clearly see what's in front of me. I just don't understand this feeling at all and it's really making me feel depressed. Maybe it's all in my head. I don't know. I don't know if I feel like I don't belong, if I still have feelings for him over my current boyfriend, or maybe I'm not suppose to be in love right now. I guess maybe a little insight about this whole situation would help clear it up.

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You say you still have feelings for him over your current boyfriend? Does that mean you two had been dating in the past, or you've just always had feelings towards him?

I can tell you definitely like him a lot from what you've said. So question is, who do you feel stronger towards? That's who you want to be with. Whichever makes you the happiest.

I'm not saying break up with your current boyfriend for him, but it's still something you need to think about.

Also, is the other guy you like gay as well, or is it one of those hidden crushes?

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Lose a chance of studying in Singapore few days ago. I want to join in the scholarship next year. Any suggestions on preparing for the tests?

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I already said the guy is my ex so it's obvious we were together. The problem is that he's a truck driver and it's just extremely difficult to even get to see him. Also another problem was that while we were together, he said that he doesn't want to hold me back if I find someone else. First time he said that, I thought it was just a slip of speech. I tend to do that myself. Meaning to say something but comes out wrong. When he said that again the second time, we had a talk. My current boyfriend knew about the other guy but he had falling in love with me since the beginning of summer. Then at the end of August, he confessed his love towards me. Through me into a loop and I had to think about it. Plus side was that my current boyfriend lives in the same city as me and doesn't drive around in a truck. So I don't know if it's just feelings coming back and feeling guilty for leaving my ex for my current boyfriend or what.

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Whoops. I missed that part. Sorry. :<

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I have the same feeling.

No worries, hun. It's an easy thing to miss.

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I thought you were a girl.

Nope :3 I love me my homosexual BEMANI friends

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That was directed at Oni-Kid

I am aware.

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lol Nope. I'm male. Jusy gay.

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We need moar gay ZiV members

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Figured...it's the internet. What are the odds of running into someone who isn't a guy

Last I checked, there were no girls on the internet.

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For me, plenty. I actually know a lot of girls online and I have proof of that.

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My Facebook friends list is at least 75% females.
My Xbox friends list is only about 15% females

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Are you sure they aren't just guys with female-looking avatars?

Could be possible, but I know them IRL.

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I was going thru my old archives of DDR pic when I found this:

Thought I should share...//

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