You laugh, you lose (new rule page 147)

Two aliens landed in the Arizona desert near an abandoned gas station. They approached one of the gas pumps, and one of the aliens addressed it.

"Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader."

The gas pumps of course, didn't respond. The alien repeated the greeting. Again there was no response. The alien, annoyed by what he perceived to be the gas pumps haughty attitude, drew his ray gun, and said impatiently, "Greetings earthling. We come in peace. How dare you ignore us in this way! Take us to your leader, or I'll fire!"

The other alien shouted to his comrade, "No, you don't want to make him mad!" But before he finished his warning, the first alien fired.

There was a huge explosion that blew both of them 200 meters into the desert, where they landed in a heap rather abruptly. When they finally regained consciousness, the one who fired turned to the other one and said, "What a ferocious creature. It damn near killed us! How did you know it was so dangerous?"

The other alien answered, "If there's one thing I've learned during my travels through the galaxy, when a guy has a penis he can wrap around himself twice and then stick it in his own ear, you don't mess with him."

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p****s? aww.. I lost.

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SigRoll !!!

Wip3out, that was too late. Already posted.

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MOST EPIC VIDEO EVER!!!

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You have one star too many.

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One beautiful December evening Huan Cho and his girlfriend Jung Lee were sitting by the side of the ocean.
It was a romantic full moon, when Huan Cho said "Hey baby, how about playing Weeweechu."
"Oh no, not now, lets look at the moon" said Jung Lee.
"Oh, c'mon baby, let's you and I play Weeweechu. I love you and it's the perfect time," Huan Cho begged.
"But I rather just hold your hand and watch the moon."
"Please Jung Lee, just once play Weeweechu with me."
Jung Lee looked at Huan Chi and said, "OK, we'll play Weeweechu."....

Huan Cho grabbed his guitar and both sang....
"Weeweechu a melly Chlistmas,
Weeweechu a melly Chlistmas,
Weeweechu a melly Chlistmas,
and an appy New Year."
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A guy walks into a bar with a pet crocodile by his side.

He puts the crocodile up on the bar. He turns to the astonished patrons.

"I'll make you a deal. I'll open this crocodile's mouth and place my manhood inside. Then the croc will close his mouth for one minute. Then he'll open his mouth and I'll remove my unit unscathed. In return for witnessing this Spectacle, Each of you will buy me a drink."

The crowd murmured their approval. The man stood up on the bar, dropped his trousers, and placed his Johnson and related parts in the crocodile's open mouth. The croc closed his mouth as the crowd gasped.

After a minute, the man grabbed a beer bottle and smacked the crocodile hard on the top of its head. The croc opened his mouth and the man removed his genitals unscathed as promised. The crowd cheered, and the first of his free drinks were delivered.

The man stood up again and made another offer.

"I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try."

A hush fell over the crowd.

After a while, a hand went up in the back of the bar. A blond woman timidly spoke up...

"I'll try it - just don't hit me so hard with the beer bottle!'"
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This 16 year-old boy comes home from school and his mom asks how his day was. He replies, "I had sex with my teacher today."

"Oh my god! You get to your room! Wait till your father comes home!" says the mother.

A few hours later the father comes home and the mother says, "Go up to your son's room and talk to him. He's been really bad today."

Dad goes up to the son's room and asks why Mom is so mad. "I told her I had sex with my teacher today," replied the boy.

"All right! That's my boy!" says Dad. "Ya know son, women just don't think like men. But I'm proud of you. What are you now, about sixteen, right? Wow, that's my son! Ya know what? I'm so proud of you I'm gonna take you out and buy you that new shiny bike you've been wanting."

So the dad and his son go out and buy the nicest, reddest, shiniest bike in the whole town. "You gonna ride it home son?" asks Dad.

His son replied, "Nah, my ass is still sore."
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Yeah, I know the Christmas joke was rather late, but I wasn't around a computer to post it. As for the other two jokes: they're just jokes. Don't take offense to them. It's all in good humour. Laughter does your body good.

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Lost at the beer bottle joke.

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lost at the teacher joke

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Arboria Bingo!!

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I feel sorry for the guy that bumps into this in real life.

Kinda NSFW, depends on whether they know what the contraption is

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Because I'm too lazy too screencap it, here's my next move.

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No. Soulja Boy just isn't funny.

Any Soulja Boy videos
[youtube]<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/W2KwFMky5Y4&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/W2KwFMky5Y4&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>[/youtube]

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What are you talking about guys? Soulja Boy is very poetic, why just look:

oh lawl

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oh lawl

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