The Wrestling Thread

CARD PREDICTIONS (WORTH THREE POINTS EACH):
Roman Reigns vs. Jinder Mahal: Reigns
Daniel Bryan vs. Big Cass: Bryan
Bobby Lashley vs. Sami Zayn: Lashley
Nia Jax (c) vs. Ronda Rousey for the Raw Women's Championship: Ronda
Carmella (c) vs. Asuka for the SmackDown Women's Championship: Carmella
Seth Rollins (c) vs. Elias for the Intercontinental Championship: Seth Rollins
AJ Styles (c) vs. Shinsuke Nakamura - Last Man Standing match for the WWE ChampionshipNakamura
2018 Women's Money in the Bank - Ember Moon vs. Charlotte Flair vs. Alexa Bliss vs. Becky Lynch vs. Natalya vs. Lana vs. Naomi vs. Sasha Banks: Natalya
2018 Men's Money in the Bank - Braun Strowman vs. Finn Bálor vs. The Miz vs. Rusev vs. Bobby Roode vs. Kevin Owens vs. Samoa Joe vs. Someone in the New Day: New Day

SPECIAL PREDICTIONS (WORTH TWO POINTS EACH):
Reigns match: Will Singh interference directly lead to the end of the match?: No
Bryan match: Will there be any form of post-match beatdown?: No
Lashley match: How many Helluva Kicks will there be?: 0
R-Women's match: How will the match end: Pin, submission, DQ or countout?: Submission
S-Women's match: Will the match take place without interference?: Yes
IC match: Will there be a guitar shot in or after the match?: No
WWE match: How many low-blows will occur?: 3
W-MITB: How long will the match last? (2pts for closest guess, bonus point for anyone within 60sec): 13.45
M-MITB: How long will the match last? (2pts for closest guess, bonus point for anyone within 60sec): 20:13
M-MITB: Which member of the New Day will appear in the match?: Big E
Will James Ellsworth appear at all tonight?: Yes
Will any cash-in occur that night?: No
At which match will the CM Punk chants start?: Jinder/Reigns
Which match will Bleacher Report give the best grade to?: Men's MITB
Which match will Bleacher Report give the worst grade to?: Lashley/Zayn

On a side note I watched NJPW Dominion yesterday, first time actually watching NJPW. Fucking WOW.

CARD PREDICTIONS (WORTH THREE POINTS EACH):
Roman Reigns vs. Jinder Mahal: Romaine
Daniel Bryan vs. Big Cass: Bryan Daniel, Son
Bobby Lashley vs. Sami Zayn: Bob Lashy because popular demand shit
Nia Jax (c) vs. Ronda Rousey for the Raw Women's Championship: Honda Rosey
Carmella (c) vs. Asuka for the SmackDown Women's Championship: Asuka
Seth Rollins (c) vs. Elias for the Intercontinental Championship: Seth
AJ Styles (c) vs. Shinsuke Nakamura - Last Man Standing match for the WWE Championship: Idk, AJ
2018 Women's Money in the Bank - Ember Moon vs. Charlotte Flair vs. Alexa Bliss vs. Becky Lynch vs. Natalya vs. Lana vs. Naomi vs. Sasha Banks: Natalya
2018 Men's Money in the Bank - Braun Strowman vs. Finn Bálor vs. The Miz vs. Rusev vs. Bobby Roode vs. Kevin Owens vs. Samoa Joe vs. Someone in the New Day: Finn

SPECIAL PREDICTIONS (WORTH TWO POINTS EACH):
Reigns match: Will Singh interference directly lead to the end of the match?: No
Bryan match: Will there be any form of post-match beatdown?: No
Lashley match: How many Helluva Kicks will there be?: 1
R-Women's match: How will the match end: Pin, submission, DQ or countout?: Pin
S-Women's match: Will the match take place without interference?: No
IC match: Will there be a guitar shot in or after the match?: No
WWE match: How many low-blows will occur?: 4
W-MITB: How long will the match last? (2pts for closest guess, bonus point for anyone within 60sec): 19:30
M-MITB: How long will the match last? (2pts for closest guess, bonus point for anyone within 60sec): 24:44
M-MITB: Which member of the New Day will appear in the match?: Kofi
Will James Ellsworth appear at all tonight?: Yes
Will any cash-in occur that night?: No for now
At which match will the CM Punk chants start?: CM Reigns
Which match will Bleacher Report give the best grade to?: Men's MITB
Which match will Bleacher Report give the worst grade to?: Jinder Reigns

Quick shit happening

Just for fun I posed all these questions to my Dad; somewhat similar!

CARD PREDICTIONS (WORTH THREE POINTS EACH):
Roman Reigns vs. Jinder Mahal: Reigns
Daniel Bryan vs. Big Cass: Bryan
Bobby Lashley vs. Sami Zayn: Lashley
Nia Jax (c) vs. Ronda Rousey for the Raw Women's Championship: Ronda
Carmella (c) vs. Asuka for the SmackDown Women's Championship: Asuka
Seth Rollins (c) vs. Elias for the Intercontinental Championship: Seth Rollins
AJ Styles (c) vs. Shinsuke Nakamura - Last Man Standing match for the WWE ChampionshipNakamura
2018 Women's Money in the Bank - Ember Moon vs. Charlotte Flair vs. Alexa Bliss vs. Becky Lynch vs. Natalya vs. Lana vs. Naomi vs. Sasha Banks: Alexa
2018 Men's Money in the Bank - Braun Strowman vs. Finn Bálor vs. The Miz vs. Rusev vs. Bobby Roode vs. Kevin Owens vs. Samoa Joe vs. Someone in the New Day: New Day

SPECIAL PREDICTIONS (WORTH TWO POINTS EACH):
Reigns match: Will Singh interference directly lead to the end of the match?: Yes
Bryan match: Will there be any form of post-match beatdown?: No
Lashley match: How many Helluva Kicks will there be?: 0
R-Women's match: How will the match end: Pin, submission, DQ or countout?: Submission
S-Women's match: Will the match take place without interference?: No
IC match: Will there be a guitar shot in or after the match?: Yes
WWE match: How many low-blows will occur?: 3
W-MITB: How long will the match last? (2pts for closest guess, bonus point for anyone within 60sec): 23:00
M-MITB: How long will the match last? (2pts for closest guess, bonus point for anyone within 60sec): 27:10
M-MITB: Which member of the New Day will appear in the match?: Big E
Will James Ellsworth appear at all tonight?: No
Will any cash-in occur that night?: No
At which match will the CM Punk chants start?: Seth/Elias
Which match will Bleacher Report give the best grade to?: Women's MITB
Which match will Bleacher Report give the worst grade to?: Reigns/Jinder

CARD PREDICTIONS (WORTH THREE POINTS EACH):
Roman Reigns vs. Jinder Mahal: Romanian Reigns
Daniel Bryan vs. Big Cass: C-ass
Bobby Lashley vs. Sami Zayn: Lashley
Nia Jax (c) vs. Ronda Rousey for the Raw Women's Championship: Ronda Rousey
Carmella (c) vs. Asuka for the SmackDown Women's Championship: Asuka
Seth Rollins (c) vs. Elias for the Intercontinental Championship: Seth Rollings
AJ Styles (c) vs. Shinsuke Nakamura - Last Man Standing match for the WWE Championship Shinsuke Nakamura
2018 Women's Money in the Bank - Ember Moon vs. Charlotte Flair vs. Alexa Bliss vs. Becky Lynch vs. Natalya vs. Lana vs. Naomi vs. Sasha Banks: Alexa Bliss
2018 Men's Money in the Bank - Braun Strowman vs. Finn Bálor vs. The Miz vs. Rusev vs. Bobby Roode vs. Kevin Owens vs. Samoa Joe vs. Someone in the New Day: The Miz

SPECIAL PREDICTIONS (WORTH TWO POINTS EACH):
Reigns match: Will Singh interference directly lead to the end of the match?: No
Bryan match: Will there be any form of post-match beatdown?: Yes
Lashley match: How many Helluva Kicks will there be?: None
R-Women's match: How will the match end: Pin, submission, DQ or countout?: DQ
S-Women's match: Will the match take place without interference?: Yes
IC match: Will there be a guitar shot in or after the match?: Yes
WWE match: How many low-blows will occur?: 5
W-MITB: How long will the match last? (2pts for closest guess, bonus point for anyone within 60sec): 19:45
M-MITB: How long will the match last? (2pts for closest guess, bonus point for anyone within 60sec): 24:30
M-MITB: Which member of the New Day will appear in the match?: Big R
Will James Ellsworth appear at all tonight?: No
Will any cash-in occur that night?: No
At which match will the CM Punk chants start?: First
Which match will Bleacher Report give the best grade to?: Men’s MITB
Which match will Bleacher Report give the worst grade to?: Lashley vs Zayn

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Money in the Wank """reviews""", I didn't catch the first few matches so I'm going off results for them

Beardy Boys win of course: preshow/10.
Bryan vs Cass: thank fuck Bryan can move on. beard/10, beardy guys are 2 for 2 here
Lashley vs Sami: and just like that the streak is broken. obvious result though. 3 sisters/10
Seth vs Elias: wait, Seth's a heel now? fist fulla tights/10
Women's MITB: there were 2 obvious options and this was one of them. blissful/10
BOOOOOOOOOOOO vs cricket chirp: well, no shit they muted the crowd after that one. they royally shat on that match and for good reason too. VEL-VE-TEEN/10
Carmella vs Asuka: under James Ellsworth's mouth there is no chin. there is only a middle finger to the women's division and the fans. -10/10, wwe still hates asians part 1
AJ vs Shinsuke: well what was the point of having 3 matches if you were just going to bury Shinsuke? no rating/10, wwe still hates asians part 2
Nia eats the cashin: thank fuck that's over, now let Ronda pretzel Bliss. 6 briefcase shots/10
Men's MITB: fuck this company. pushing kofi off the ladder right at the end was one final fuck you. let's hope this debacle is over soon and actually watchable wrestlers get in/around the championship picture. fuck this company/10

Overall Rating: "it wasn't backlash"/10

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Right, I might as well do my own ratings. Meltzer scale, except this one tops out at 5 because this is WWE.

Bludgeon Brothers vs The Club: I didn't see this, and have no real desire to do so, so not rating.

Daniel Bryan vs Big Cass: Nowhere near as meh as the Backlash match. Did what it needed to do without being overly stand-out good. No afters means that now Bryan can head towards Summerslam with something better to fight for. 2.5

Bobby Lashley vs Sami Zayn: TV match, basically. And not a particularly great one. I had to use Bleacher Report to remember what happened. 1.75

IC Title Match: Right, now we're getting somewhere. Bit of a slow start, but when it got going it was rather enjoyable indeed. In defeat, Elias still looks great, forcing Seth to limp for the match's conclusion and having to grab some tights to finish it off. I'm impressed, but to be honest, I was going to be given the track record. It's nice to see the IC title mean something again. 3.5

Women's MITB Match: Better than the first women's one, but if it was controversy-free then basically it was a given. There was some rather tasty spots, however at one point it did tend to feel more like them doing moves for the sake of moves instead of as a means to grab the case. I'm not sure I agree with the choice of winner, but I can see why it was chosen. Shame the ending had Becky Lynch seeming to not know how a carabiner works. 3.25

Roman Reigns vs Jinder Mahal: The crowd really cared about this, didn't they? Can't say I blame them, the match was pretty easy to predict, of course Sunil got out of the wheelchair, of course Reigns would see past the BS, and of course RESTHOLDS. I'm rating this higher than the Samoa Joe match because at least it isn't as offensively troll-worthy as Backlash was. 1.75

SmackDown Women's Match: Oh no. Right, Carmella actually worked a half-decent match with Asuka, although why Carmella was on top for so long I have no clue why. However, a surprisingly workable match ruined by what might be the dumbest end to a match I've seen in years. I get why they did it, but there were so many baffling decisions made here. Right, why did James need to show up when Carmella is beating people like Charlotte clean? Why is Asuka billed as a destroyer of worlds, then all of a sudden gawping open-mouthed for a bastard minute when he shows up in her clothing? Why does James Ellsworth have a face that looks like he just shot the family dog when he's helped his missus win an on-paper impossible match? Why did Asuka kick out of the roll-up only to get up and gawp open-mouthed at James Fucking Ellsworth again!? RIP Asuka. On that note, I'm sick and tired of pissweak heels holding belts. I've had to deal with Jinder and Enzo Amore. I do not need a third. 1.5 (2.5 for the match, -1 for the ending)

WWE Title Match: This should have been the match at Wrestlemania. We finally get the conclusive match, and at over 30 minutes, I can't complain that I didn't get my money's worth. I know that people might think it's a bit of a tame match for the blowoff of this feud, but given the card and the placement of it I think it makes sense. The low blows were refreshingly kept to a minimum, we had a wide variety of spots, a lovely bit with AJ not falling for Nakamura pleading and just working him with a chair. Beautiful elevated Styles Clash, followed by one of the most beautiful kicks to the testicles I will ever see. I'd have preferred Nakamura to win this, but I don't mind too much, we had a great ending to the feud that wasn't drowned out with bullshit. Thank you. 4.25

Raw Women's Match: I am legitimately impressed with both Jax and Rousey here. They put on a match far better than I think anybody was expecting. It's largely because of Rousey, but Nia had what I think's her best match in a long while, and OH SHIT, CASH IN! And now we see exactly why Alexa won. Brilliantly done, although it does make me feel that they're admitting that Jax's title reign was a bit crap. A great swerve, which looks like we're leading to Rousey v Alexa at Summerslam. Yes please. 3.75

Men's MITB Match: lol Kevin Owens is dead. At least he died doing what he loved. Being manhandled by BRAAAAAUN. I loved this. As much as I love technical showcases, sometimes you just gotta have a big brawl, and this was one hell of a brawl. There were so many good spots in this match, and almost everyone emerged from the match looking better for it (sadly Bobby Roode was just...there). Great finish, with Braun literally tearing the case off the cable. I know that Braun doesn't necessarily need the briefcase, but there's a bunch of exciting places that this could go, especially as Braun doesn't seem to be the kind that would do a sneak cash-in. So, yeah, one of the greatest MITB matches, on the level of last year's one. 4.5

So, MITB. Not a bad show at all overall, in fact, a very good show in places, even if it ain't gonna match up to NXT (of course). Backlash is forgiven.

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Gargano/Ciampa 2 was six stars out of five.

There, I said something nice about a match that happened in America.

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Highflyer baby please

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Should've really just asked "Type in the match on the pre-show" as the prediction question

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Here's my ratings for the MITB PPV maches.

Daniel Bryan vs Big Cass: 2.0 - The match is not satisfying in my opinion. The result is so predictable and straightforward just to let the underdog winning against the big guy. That's all.

Sami Zayn vs Bobby Laahley: 1.0 - Poor Sami whom being squashed and dominated in a matter of short time just to announce to people about how important is father's day. Now take a look Bobby just call him fool on Twitter.

IC match: 4.0 - Not bad to see Rollins defend the title but Elias promo and performance is really great and outstanding. If Rollins didn't conclude the match by roll-up, I'll give it around 4.5. If their feud has continuity, maybe it's OK but I don't think WWE would take their match seriously.

Women's MITB: 3.5 - Very satisfying and potentially great especially how they show their full potential inside the ring. Lana performing well and looking stronger is shocking in my opinion. Can't believe she can take a ladder shot in the middle of the match. Ember Moon is also doing good and making an awesome performance and action. Just Becky Lynch waiting on the ladder just to look at Alexa Bliss going to interfere is a kind of waste. That's very disappointing to be honest, but I already know this match was booked to let Alexa get the briefcase though. She can do everything to screw up Nia Jax to get the title.

Roman Reigns vs Jinder Mahal: 2.5 - Just wow, not as bad as I expected. Sunil Singh's promo sitting on the wheelchair steal the show and that's a good point. The match is totally predictable as we know Roman wins the match but on the bright side, he didn't dominated Jinder on the whole match up. They really show their potential in the ring before Roman takes a win.

SD Women Title Match: 2.5 - Ah ah, not so easy for Asuka to win a title inside the WWE territory. The match is OK and equal performance by each other. Carmella look like more confident and energetic while doing an action. Can't believe James Ellsworth surprise the crowd and just another way of stealing the show and that's a good timing for his interference. Nice to see Carmella not winning the match clean so Asuka stay protected and not totally buried. Only the continuity fulfill her destiny.

WWE Title Match: 4.0 - Both competitors are doing great and the overall performance are satisfying. Using weapons here and there low blowing is not so annoying and it is in proper timing as well. Sad to see Nakamura lost the match though but I'm still satisfied and happy to see AJ defends the title.

Raw Women's Title Match: 3.5 - The match is not bad and Ronda showing her strength and vitality while Nia took possession is awesome and really beautiful. A sign that Nia shouldn't underestimate her and having potential to take her title off her shoulder. Alexa just simply cashed in the title by interfereing on the match and disqualified it by beating both the competitors with a briefcase and perform a DDT against Nia to finish the match and took the title off Nia.

Men's MITB: 2.5 - Another predictable and booked match to have Braun and opportunity to get a title shot. I'm not saying Braun looks bad to be a briefcase holder and be a Mr. MITB but I feel like Brock already prepared on him anytime the Universal Match on PPV is on the line. The only thing I see in this match up is just a redundancy of WM 31 incident. They will let Roman winning the title and Braun just suddenly ambushed him in the ring, cash in the title and a predictable conclusion. But with Baron Corbin failed to cashed in last year, I don't think the cash in failure will gonna happened this year but Alexa succeeding on cashing in the Raw Women's Title gives trouble for the decision of booking regarding that matter.

Implies I read, literally did it as quickly as possible so that the predictions were in before the show started!

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PRE-SHOW POOP
Bludgeon Brothers vs Gallows and Anderson (Smackdown Tag Team Championship) - THE ABSOLUTE STATE OF TAG TEAMS
7 minutes of nothing, tag divisions are dead in the WWE, there may as well not be one since they consistently get relegated to pre-shows or just don't show up on PPVs at all. Notice there is no RAW tag title being defended tonight. Which is a genuine shame, because tag team wrestling is my absolute favourite kind of wrestling, far more creative spots and you get to see more wrestlers featured.

Hammer Bros. won because fuck japan, nobody from NJPW can hold a belt in Vinny Mac's house. Why do you think Finn Balor got killed by Rollins and vacated the Universal Championship immediately?

MAIN CARD CRAP
1) Daniel Bryan vs Big Ass - 2/5 LET THIS BE THE END
This did not need to be 16 minutes. Crowd was really hot early chanting "YES" and was behind Bryan the whole time. Big Cass still does that dumb fucking thing where he knocks a guy down and then puts his fist in the air, so i'm glad to see he's focused his time and energy into that instead of getting better between the ropes. Marginally better than the last time they wrestled on PPV, Cass still sucks at selling moves convincingly and even though Bryan is trying his damn best, this is not a match I would add to the highlight reel. Can clearly tell Bryan is leaning towards a safer wrestling style, not a bad thing I guess but can he have high quality matches taking safe bumps? Dunno. Hit a running knee and heel hook for the submission win. Moving on, please.

2) Bobby Lashley vs Sami Zayn - 0/5 NOTHING HAPPENED
No no, I meant move on to something *goo-* fuck it. Sami beats up Lashley for a hot minute, then Lashley landed three vertical suplexes and then pinned Sami for the win. Nobody benefits from this. Then, for a brief moment, everyone in the universe thought about how awesome NXT TakeOver Chicago II was last night, and then they thought about what had just occurred, and realized in less then half an hour, we had witnessed two main card matches that in any other promotion would have been pre-show material.

3) Elias vs Seth Rollins (IC Championship) - 3.75/5 WE ARE SCUMBAGS
I think a while ago I said Strowman was the biggest draw in the company and now i'm not so sure if that's true anymore, cause there's a case to be made for both Elias and Rollins, they could not be more over with the crowd, regardless of the city, regardless of the country. Great back and forth early on, Seth went for a springboard but the knee gave out. Elias works the knee for a bit, Seth hit a fucking suplex into a falcon arrow but didn't get the pin, mad lad. Missed a stomp, went for a tope but Elias caught him, slammed him into the post, the stairs, anything that was outside the ring, savage-approved elbow drop, NEARFALL. Trade cradles at the end, Elias grabs Seth's trunks but gets reversed, Seth uses Elias' belt (heel move) and hangs on for the pin. Crazy final 2 minutes, worth the price of admission. Seth Rollins is the guy in the company, there is no debate.

4) Women's MITB (Lana, Ember Moon, Becky Lynch, Charlotte Flair, Alexa Bliss, Natalya, Naomi, Sasha Botch) - 3.75/5
Super Ultra Choreographed Match, which is fine, i'd rather every single spot be choreographed and rehearsed a thousand times than done on the spot and fucked up. Especially in this match where almost every single participant had a death wish and tried to wreck their back or neck or something else (here's looking at you Sasha). Great fucking match, ton of ladder spots with people getting dropped or slammed onto ladders, expected someone to get legit hurt. Endless string of climb the ladder/pulled off the ladder/climb the ladder/kicked off ladder shenanigans. Did not know what to expect from Lana, she did a good job here, put the fucking accolade on Bliss, what a great spot, got close to the top of the ladder a couple times, fooled me for a sec into thinking she might win, so this match did a good job of making me think everyone might win, IT'S WORKING AS INTENDED. Bliss was sleepy outside the ring for a long time, so after a while I had a pretty good hunch who was gonna win, and after taking out Charlotte and Becky, she raced up the ring with nobody around and snatched the briefcase. Sooooo great match overall, very solid action, not sure that Bliss needed this more than, say, Becky Lynch or Natalya, but I guess we're going for the heel cash-in as always.

5) Roman Reigns vs Jinder Mahal - 2/5 DISNEY SING-ALONG SONGS
Well...you can't say they didn't fucking they their asses off. Reigns and Mahal absolutely tried their best to have a serious match and were not going to let a Chicago crowd that wanted absolutely nothing to do with them stop them from having a serious match. That's all I have to say about the match, which was average and had a couple neat spots but nothing too noteworthy. As for the crowd, holy balls. If you can think of a single crowd chant that has ever been uttered in the history of wrestling, you probably heard it tonight during this match. Everything from "CM PUNK, "BORING", THIS IS AWFUL", "ECW", to "BAD NEWS BARRETT", "WE WANT DIVAS", LET'S GO CENA/CENA SUCKS", and "DELETE", "Y2J", "VELVETEEN", "LET'S GO BEACHBALL/BEACHBALL SUCKS". If you could think it, they chanted it, and they found every conceivable way to destroy this match, whether you think it deserved to be or not.

6) Carmella vs Asuka (Smackdown Women's Championship) - 0.5/5 OK I'M DONE
match sucks, carmella has such a limited moveset that you have to dumb everything down and force an elite performer like Asuka to job to someone that can't really wrestle. Literally a whole match of Asuka selling to maybe the worst Women's champ in years. If you remember when The Miz had the WWE Championship in 2010 and how he was horribly booked to win matches against much better performer, this is the same thing. Then James Ellsworth comes back wearing Asuka's entrance attire to mess with her and act as a distraction so she can job even harder and proceed to get superkicked and pinned. Asuka has to pretend she is so shocked by Ellsworth in the corner that she is incapable of fucking moving and just eats a superkick.

Fuck this show, i'm done.

7) AJ Styles defeats Shinsuka Nakamura (WWE Championship) - 4.25/5 FUCKING GREAT
8) Nia Jax defeats Ronda Rousey via DQ (RAW Women's Championship) - 2.75/5 ROUSEY WAY GREAT
9) Alexa Bliss defeats Nia Jax (RAW Women's Championship) - 2/5 OK
10) Braun Strowman wins Men's MITB (Finn Balor, Bobby *inhales* ROOOOO, Kevin Owens, Braun Strowman, Rusev, Kofi Kingston, The Miz, Samoa Joe) - 4/5 LITERALLY ANYBODY ELSE IS A BETTER PICK TO HOLD THE BRIEFCASE

This is a show that had great matches, and inbetween those great matches are absolute DUDS that just killed you inside to watch them, and one of them just ruined the show for me and there was no way for me to continue.

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Bryan/Cass: 1.25/5 (This literally should've just been a one match feud. Jesus fucking wept. Send Cass back to the NXT midcard, save us all.)

Lashley/Zayn: -1/5 (Hey remember when we thought Zayn's heel turn was gonna elevate him to be something above a fucking jobber with a hard-on for being the opposite of funny? Goddamn it, WWE. I'm not giving up on Zayn no matter what.)

Elias/Rollins: 3.25/5 (A fairly good match is just what the doctor ordered after the abomination of the Canadian Burial. Elias is getting a little stale now, in my opinion, but this was still solid to watch. Thank fucking god.)

MITB Women's: 2/5 (There's quite a few quality spots in this match and I would rate it a 3/5... but I'm taking off an ENTIRE POINT for that fucking Alexa botch where she had Becky stand there looking like a cunt for a solid 45 seconds. Alexa is awful and, welp, that should tell you what I'm going to think of something later down this PPV...)

Roman/Jinder: 0/5 (What. The. Fuck. At this point, I don't even know what to think about what Vince wants to do with Reigns. This match had, like, two spots, and was just rest holds the rest of the way. What the fuck?)

Carmella/Asuka: 1.5/5 (Let me go on the record and state that the finish lost a star here. This was a serviceable match, a fine match. AND. THEN. JAMES. ELLS. WORTH. For fuck sake, Ellsworth, Carmella kicked the shit out of you on your way out a while back. WHY ARE YOU HELPING HER. WHY IS ASUKA SUDDENLY MENTALLY ILL AND NEEDS TO START AT YOU FOR OVER A MINUTE TOTAL. FUCK OFF. YOU JUST TOOK A HALFASSED SUPERKICK AND ATE THE PIN. HOW THE FUCK. WHY THE FUCK. WHY EVER. KILL ME.)

Styles/Nak: 4/5 (Without a doubt, the best match on the card. And I was debating whether to give it 3.75 instead, so that's quite the ringing endorsement. Nak got a punt in the balls, Styles Clash off the steps AGAIN, whatever. Was fun to watch.)

Nia/Rousey: 2/5 (This match was just fucking awkward. Rousey clearly fucking gives a shit, okay? She's one of the standout "celebrity" wrestlers, up there with Stephen Amell. But Nia just fucking SUCKS. Can you name one good match of hers where she wasn't carried? I fucking can't.)

Nia/Alexa: Cunt/Face (Please let Rousey beat her immediately. Her finishes look shit, she can't throw convincing strikes, she's literally a half-assed Harley Quinn gimmick. NO ONE EVER LIKED ALEXA FOR ANYTHING MORE THAN HER LOOKS. FOR FUCK S A K E.)

MITB Men's: Mother/Fucker (Okay, fine, 3.5/5) (Why did Braun win this? Why. Did Braun. Win this. Why the fuck does Braun need the "I can fuck you over" contract to win the world title? He is literally the one person who didn't need it. Bobby had a forgettable US reign, Kofi has deserved a world title run for about 8 years now, Samoa Joe needs that fucking rematch, Rusev is Rusev, Owens is hampered by being forced to play chickenshit heel instead of just being an asshole who will punch the shit out of you, and The Miz was my pick so fuck you. Best part of this match was Owens' insane table bump which had him break his skull on a Macbook which is likely now sidelining him because fuck you.)

Overall: 2.25/5. Very slightly above average, but nothing more. High spots. Low spots. Fuck spots.

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So, this might be the most divisive PPV of the year, then. I rather liked it, and a few of you really didn't.

CARD PREDICTIONS (WORTH THREE POINTS EACH):
Roman Reigns vs. Jinder Mahal: Reigns, of course
Daniel Bryan vs. Big Cass: Bryan, of course
Bobby Lashley vs. Sami Zayn: Lashley, of course
Nia Jax (c) vs. Ronda Rousey for the Raw Women's Championship: Ronda, by technicality DQ.
Carmella (c) vs. Asuka for the SmackDown Women's Championship: Carmella. Ohhh dear.
Seth Rollins (c) vs. Elias for the Intercontinental Championship: Seth Rollins
AJ Styles (c) vs. Shinsuke Nakamura - Last Man Standing match for the WWE ChampionshipAJ, sadly.
2018 Women's Money in the Bank - Ember Moon vs. Charlotte Flair vs. Alexa Bliss vs. Becky Lynch vs. Natalya vs. Lana vs. Naomi vs. Sasha Banks: Alexa Bliss
2018 Men's Money in the Bank - Braun Strowman vs. Finn Bálor vs. The Miz vs. Rusev vs. Bobby Roode vs. Kevin Owens vs. Samoa Joe vs. Someone in the New Day: BRAAAAAAAUN

SPECIAL PREDICTIONS (WORTH TWO POINTS EACH):
Reigns match: Will Singh interference directly lead to the end of the match?: It did not! There was, but it wasn't part of the ending sequence.
Bryan match: Will there be any form of post-match beatdown?: There wasn't. Finally, he can move on.
Lashley match: How many Helluva Kicks will there be?: There were zero.
R-Women's match: How will the match end: Pin, submission, DQ or countout?: DQ. Normally this would be hard to telegraph, but not today, actually.
S-Women's match: Will the match take place without interference?: Of course it fucking didn't.
IC match: Will there be a guitar shot in or after the match?: There was not.
WWE match: How many low-blows will occur?: Only two. The kick is clearly a low-blow.
W-MITB: How long will the match last? (2pts for closest guess, bonus point for anyone within 60sec): 18'30. The times on the Wiki are all rounded to the nearest 5 seconds so this is subject to change, I think. pVx gets a bonus by one second, akio gets a safe bonus, but Quickman gets the full 3pts by a single second.
M-MITB: How long will the match last? (2pts for closest guess, bonus point for anyone within 60sec): 20'00. We all highballed this, except for Ben, who scores a bonus, thirteen seconds out.
M-MITB: Which member of the New Day will appear in the match?: It was Kofi Kingston!
Will James Ellsworth appear at all tonight?: Yes. For fuck's sake.
Will any cash-in occur that night?: YUP.
At which match will the CM Punk chants start?: It was indeed the first match. Of course. However, I was looking for specifics, and nobody said the Bryan match.
Which match will Bleacher Report give the best grade to?: Men's MITB and WWE matches both tie with As. Raw Women's Match got an A-. The IC match got a B+, as did the Women's MITB.
Which match will Bleacher Report give the worst grade to?: The Reigns match got a D-. The Lashley match got a flat D. The Asuka burial got a B-. what is this



I'M BACK! AND BETTER THAN EVER! ham JUST misses, and receives the Money in the Bank briefcase, which sadly has no real-world value.

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Oh well, i woke up late in the morning, in the middle of the men’s MITB match (blame the world house cup)

damn i missed almost of the show but then men’s MITB was okay, braun getting the case was expected

no reviews again, i haven’t seen the other matches, yep not even AJ/Naka

I ALMOST won that prediction game. I still laugh that I got the women's royal rumble entry correct. I was pretty satisfied with MITB. The non-title one on one matches were semi bad in my opinion, but that was it.

On Raw last night, Kurt Angle was implying there will be some type of big #1 contender's match for the universal championship. We don't know what match this is for sure, but it's confirmed Roman Reigns and Bobby Lashey are somewhat involved with this. Also am I the only one who thinks it's weird that Extreme Rules is taking place in July?

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If you didn't watch Raw, all you need to know is RONDA ROUSEY KICKED THE SHIT OUT OF EVERYONE AND GUTWRENCH POWERBOMBED ALEXA "I can't bump" BLISS THROUGH A MOTHERFUCKING TABLE. WHAT IS 2018, I LOVE IT.

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I loved every second of that segment. Alexa Bliss is fucking annoying, which made the segment even more satisfying. I wonder if booking Ronda Rousey as a female Stone Cold Steve Austin would work....

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That's basically what I'm hoping for. Less of Rousey smiling, more of Rousey judo throwing people who try to tell her what to do.

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Bah, close but no cigar. Seems I only show up for the major PPV's. Like Brock. Anyways, MITB was a pretty decent PPV for 2018 in my opinion. AJ/Nak, Seth/Elias and the Womens MITB match was great. Asuka getting jobbed out was fucking bullshit. I only saw the last quarter of the Reigns match and it was awful. Missed the last two matches since I'm old and decided to go to bed instead.

Definitely agree with Rousey being more of a killer. I don't know what people love about Alexa. I've heard she can cut a promo, but I'm yet to see anything that convinces me of this.