The Wrestling Thread

As I said, it was just a theory. I just found those past-year tragedies strange, though.

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You actually think it was all WWE's doing? Theory or not, that's incredibly insensitive for you to say.

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Honestly, we all have our fucking opinions and theories, and I tended to say my theory about the recent wrestling tragedies. I could definitely be wrong.

And, I didn't say the WWE ACTUALLY KILLED THEM. I was just trying to point out they could possibly be responsible for the cause of their deaths. As I said, it was a theory. I confirmed nothing.

Hate me all you want, Quickman. I'm used to it. If people can assume Kevin Sullivan killed the Benoit Family, I could come up with this 80's wrestlers genocide theory.

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I'm aware you said "it was just a theory" but that's a shitty defense for a shitty statement. If it's "just your theory", then you have no right to get upset when someone calls bullshit.

How could WWE be responsible for Dusty's cancer? Or Roddy's heart attack, or Warrior's heart attack?

You don't have any reason to think this other than "lulz conspiracy". Please, by all means, prove me wrong.

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Alright, I stand corrected and apologize. Fine.

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First off, Dusty Rhodes died because he fell, landed on his back (specifically kidneys), and the kidneys shut down (plus other complications).

Also, these 80's wrestlers probably did steroids (I mean, look at Warrior in his prime), not to mention that cocaine was a popular drug during that time, and that could have possibly played a factor. It is documented that cocaine and anabolic steroids can have adverse effects on the heart long after the use. I have no proof that any particular wrestler abuse such drugs, but if the shoe fits...

And to support Quickman, that theory is complete utter nonsense with no merit whatsoever. About the only wrestler death that could be blamed on the WWE directly would be Owen Hart.

Daniel Bryan fans that mock Sin Cara for constantly getting injured... :eyes:

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...I hated Summerslam 2015. There were only 3 good Matches, and 2 out of 3 of them were the least important Matches.

-Randy Orton vs. Sheamus. (Best Match #1) I like both guys, personally. Sheamus defeated Randy Orton. Excellent Match!

-Prime Time Players vs. Los Matadores vs. Lucha Dragons vs. The New Day. My predictions about this Match sucking came true. Yay. The New Day won the Tag Team Championship again. *clap* NEW *clap clap* DAY SUCKS....but then again, I like Big E Langston.

-Dolph Ziggler vs. Rusev. If Dolph Ziggler can apparently look as strong as Rusev, Zack Ryder should fucking main event Wrestlemania for once! The Match ends in a double count out, followed by another Lana-Summer Rae brawl.

-Stephen Amell and Neville vs. King Barrett and Stardust...........this is bad. Stephen Amell and Neville won. Stephen Amell was getting his ass whupped. *smfh*

-Ryback vs. Big Show vs. The Miz. First off, I am a Ryback fan. Judge me. Second off, why the fuck is the Miz feuding with 2 monsters? ...well, more like 1 monster and 1 washed-up giant wrestler who gets a better push than Cesaro and Roman Reigns. Third off, if Big Show retires soon, WWE should induct him into the Hall of Fame 2016. RYBACK WINS! Thank god!

-Roman Reigns and Dean Ambrose vs. Bray Wyatt and Luke Harper. (Best Match #2) I loved the Wyatt Family since Day 1, and Roman Reigns fits as the new poster-boy of the WWE. I was expecting a Dean Ambrose heel turn, though... The Shield wins.

-John Cena vs. Seth Rollins. Same ol' same ol' same ol' shit.... ....JUST KIDDING. SETH ROLLINS FUCKING WON!!! YES!!! THANK JESUS!!! ....but Jon Stewart interfered and turned heel, bashing John Cena with a chair while the Referee was taking a military nap. This Match wasn't a good one, though. It was a fucking Reversal Festival.

-Team Submission Sorority P.C.B. vs. Team Bad, as in terrible B.A.D. vs. Team Irrelevant ladies who (instead of Kaitlyn, Melina, and Jillian Hall) should've been released by now Bella. Everytime any of these 9 divas wrestle, it unfortunately lasts 15+ minutes. The only divas I like out of them is the 2 2nd-Generation wrestlers, Charlotte and Tamina Snuka. Oh, and LOL to the reason why Team Submission Soroity's name changed to Team P.C.B. google it... Team P.C.B. wins.

-Cesaro vs. Kevin Owens. (Best Match #3) Both men are talented, and both men, AS I PREDICTED, put up a good Match. Kevin Owens won. He deserves a world title push. I put my money on EITHER him or Cesaro for Royal Rumble 2016.

-The UNDEEEERRRRRRRTAKERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR vs. BRRRRRRRRRRRRR--- *coughs* ----RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRock Lesnar. Oh Jesus, I knew this Match would be a disaster....but the ending was quite interesting. Brock Lesnar had the Undertaker in the Kimora Lock, and (despite how the Referee didn't see it) the Undertaker tapped out, and the time keeper rang the bell....but the Referee told the time keeper to let the Match continue, because he assumed it never ended.... and then the Undertaker roughly touches Brock Lesnar's balls from behind (and no, the Referee didn't see that) then the Undertaker puts Brock Lesnar in the hell's gate, and LMFAO Brock Lesnar sticks his middle finger at the Undertaker then passes out, losing the Match by Submission. Paul Heyman talks to the Referee, then the show shows about 4513694597804 replays of the Undertaker tapping out, and then the Referee looked like he agreed with Paul Heyman, after seeing those 4513694597804 replays. Paul Heyman, then, grabs the mic and says Brock Lesnar won the Match.... but the Undertaker still ended the Match. So who won? Officially, the Undertaker won. According to what me, Paul Heyman, Brock Lesnar, and JBL seen, BROCK LESNAR TRULY WON.

...this is exactly what I expected out of Summerslam and their half-assed main event.

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It was meh but seriously why does anyone like ryback? I just can't see it

Divas match was ok but there was nothing at stake,I'm tired of seeing the bellas (pure silence when they came out and boos everytime they got any time to shine)


Also love the cena/rollins match (I'm a huge Rollins mark) I don't get why people are complaining about it? Would everyone rather lolcenawins?

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Well, you're right with everything you said lol... except for the Ryback thing. Ryback's "FEED ME MORE" catchphrase fits me well. It's what I chant (in my mind) when I eat at a buffet or when I lift weights. He's also a really strong man, and with agility too.

OH, and Seth Rollins winning was a GOOD THING to me

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There's alot of big guys with agility,his promos (that I've seen)have never been anything great
He's just a big roidy guy that injures people

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I watched Summerslam. Here's a summary that I wrote while listening to music, notably Duality by Slipknot, because the lines "I push my fingers into my eyes, it's the only thing that slowly stops the ache" reminds me of something I wish I had done while watching this PPV of which nobody should've ever paid to see.

The scores are nonsensical, don't read into them.

1. Sheamus (THE GUY WITH 5 MOVES) vs. Randy Orton (THE OTHER GUY WITH 5 MOVES) - 5/5. SHEAMUSWINSLOL
At least they landed the 5 moves they have, otherwise this would've been terrible. Finisher was fine, it's the first fucking match, you should probably not mess this up, cause it's a tag match next, and I don't give a shit about that.

2. The New Day vs. The Prime Time Players vs. The Lucha Dragons vs. Los Matadores - CHIPS/DIP. NEWDAYWINSLOL
This should've held my attention more; it was a solid tag match, but these tag teams are too gimmicky for my taste. The New Day won, much to the surprise of about 55 spanish children in attendance.

3. Dolph Ziggler (w/Lana) vs. Rusev (w/Summer Rae) - 10/10. DOUBLE FUCKING COUNTOUT
There was a point to this...match(?), what it was I don't know, I don't think anybody knows. They couldn't figure out a finisher that made sense, so they just sat outside the ring for a 10 count and then the girls went at it, cause that's nice for the audience I guess.

4. Stephen Amell and Neville vs. Stardust and King Barrett - When's the piss break/10. GOODGUYSALWAYSWINLOL
This had a gimmick involving...DC? I think? It was good guys vs bad guys, and it was cheesy as hell, didn't get a great pop, but Amell was awesome. If The Hurricane had showed up and pinned for the win, that would have earned this a 10, I would have marked harder than I ever have in my life, and I would have given this show a passing grade. He didn't, so this gets what it gets.

5. Ryback vs. Big Show vs. The Miz - Piss Break/10. RYBACK WON BUT DO YOU REALLY CARE HOW
FLUSH

6. Roman Reigns and Dean Ambrose vs. Bray Wyatt and Luke Harper - Another Piss Break?/10. ROMANWINSLOL
Also, I swear Roman Reigns fucking fell asleep outside the ring at one point late in the match and forgot his spot. Even he knew how bad this match and the PPV was. Bray went for his finisher, got countered with a DDT, and then Reigns finished him and pinned. FLUSH 2: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO

7. Seth Rollins vs John Cena, Title-for-Title Match - FRUITY PEBBLES/5. JON STEWART HEEL TURN JUST BECAUSE
Someone beforehand reminded me that it's been over a year since Cena has held the WWE title, and I think that's fantastic. They also reminded me that Cena has that superpower where he doesn't sell to anything, not even his own fucking moves, so I shouldn't have been surprised when he took not one, not two, but three FUs (or whatever PG WWE insists on calling it now) and no-sold them super hard and kicked out of the pins. Seth basically carried that whole match, and I loved all the borrowed finishers and signature moves from other wrestlers like Eddie Guerrero and Ric Flair and...John Cena.

The finish for this was out of nowhere, kind of neat, and also a problem that plagues the entire show, in that most of the finishes feel rushed and nonsensical. The ref gets bumped as Cena does his finisher shortly after OVERCOMING THE ODDS YET AGAIN and pinning Rollings for about 12 years in the ring before noticing no one is counting. Cena tells them to treat the ref, Rollins lands a knee to the face, both lay there tired as fuck and everyone is like "WELL WHAT NOW?". Suddenly JON FUCKING STEWART comes out of nowhere with a chair and starts looking at both of them like he can't figure out which one he want to cuddle first, and then hits Cena in the gut to allow Rollins to win. What a bizzare finish, as yet again Seth Rollins cannot win a title match cleanly and needs interference. Whatever. Cena didn't win, so we all do.

8. Team PCB vs. Team Bella vs. Team B. A. D. - The Longest Piss Break Ever/10. WHAT IS HAPPENING
This is a Divas match, I don't know if I have to explain anything beyond that. Wait, I do. It's a three team elimination match, but only two people can be in at once, and if one person is pinned then the whole team is gone. Yes, those rules are very shitty, moving right along.

Tamina got pinned by Brie, so B.A.D. (appropriate name) was out first, and then PCB and Bella went back and forth beathing each other until it was just Lynch and Brie in the ring. Brie beats Lynch up a bit, she goes top rope for a legdrop but botches it or just misses really badly, and just kinda lays there so that Becky Lynch can get the pin. Another terrible finish in a terrible show. BUT HEY, I DIDN'T EVEN SEE THIS MATCH.
EVANGELION 3.33: YOU CAN (NOT) FLUSH

9. Kevin Owens vs Cesaro - I'm kinda hungry/10. THE BEST MATCH IN THIS SHOW BY FAR
Everything about this was great. Every spot was great, all the bumps were great, the near falls, the constant back-and-forth trading blows between Cesaro and Owens, the suplexes, the uppercuts, and best of all the Powerbomb from Owens to finish off the match. Yeah, a well-executed finished, how about that shit? It's not the greatest match, but in a show where there's not much, this stands out. This belongs in a better PPV. I would have paid to see this, and only this.

10. The Undertaker vs Bork LazerBrock Lesnar - DO THE DEW/5. MAN THIS IS THE STUPIDEST
I had no expectations for this match, so everything was a bonus. I saw flames come out of the corners of the ring, so I expected Kane with his old mask to appear. All I got was Undertaker, so right there I was disappointed, but I still had hope he would interfere at some point, maybe chokeslam both wrestlers and turn heel.

Was nice to see The Undertaker using all of his old moves, even if it was in slow-motion. Brock sold all of it and still kept F5ing him and pulling out all the stops, and it still wasn't enough. Someone rang the bell towards the end even though the ref never called for it but The Undertaker was tapping, so the match kept go-OH MY GOD, THERE IT IS, THAT WAS KANE'S INTERFERENCE, THERE'S THE HEEL TURN, WHAT A MOVE! Oh, and then The Undertaker was awarded the win cause he choked out Brock as he was laughing and giving him the finger (oooh, spoopy). AGAIN, bad finish to a match.

Overall I give this a LEARN 2 FINISH/5. A match is only as good as its finish, and if it doesn't well, then the whole thing is bad. I count THREE quality matches on this show. You scheduled TEN. FIVE have terrible finishes.

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The Undertaker tapped out.
THE UNDERTAKER TAPPED OUT.

Why is he seriously not treated as a heel yet? Low blowed Lesnar repeatedly, ruined his championship match, and WON the match when he CLEARLY LOST. Ugh.

Hey, at least Cena doesn't have the Nobody Cares Championship anymore.

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Just humor me for a second.
Picture this: It's Night of Champions, Brock Lesnar vs The Undertaker. Brock comes out, does his typical entrance, and then Paul does his usual thing and talks about how great Brock is, broke the streak, was the real winner at Summerslam, and that The Undertaker is just a shell of his former self. Then, in the middle of his shoot, the lights cut, crowd goes nuts, and the old American Badass Undertaker titantron starts.

Less likely things have happened. John Cena didn't win a title at SummerSlam, so this isn't impossible.

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-Tag Team Title match features opponents that could put on a great tag match, ends via Disqualification instead of clean finish just to set up rematch.
-VERY NEXT MATCH, Divas Championship, has a stipulation allowing for the title transferring via disqualification, match ends with a clean finish.

Russo_Face.jpg

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Doesnt matter Rollins still champ

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JERICHO, I CALLED IT

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Anyone catch Hell In A Cell? Was a pretty solid show if you ask me! Even if the pre-show match was the best for me aha, seriously whack that on the main card, give it 5-10 more minutes and it would've stolen the show!

I still think The New Day are the best thing in WWE right now, I can't not love them. Anyone catch the shirt Kofi was wearing today? It was the three of them riding a unicorn in space whilst playing a trombone. Take my pre-order WWE, take it now.

Spoilers below!

I was so stoked to see Alberto Del Rio return, even more to see him win clean over Cena for a title! It's the weakest Cena has looked in a long long time. Looking forward to seeing where they go with this.

Literally jumped out of my chair with joy for The New Day's win. I was so so sure the Dudleys would win. So glad they haven't de-throned one of the only reasons to tune in weekly.

Seth vs Kane was basically their way of trying to showcase Seth's abilities with someone who could lose clean and not have their reputation damaged, but it was a bit flat. Seth is a great heel on the mic, but he wrestles super face. I love him to pieces though.

Brock vs Taker, wow was it brutal. Not too many suplexes either, but they both gave it their all one last time, gotta appreciate them for that. I flipped when Brock started tearing the ring apart aha. And what was with the Wyatt family at the end? Very ritualistic. I was hoping this was Taker's last match but he MIGHT continue..

Yeah, the Undertaker was advertised for Survivor Series, so Hell in a Cell wasn't his last Match. Also, Bork Laser deserved that win against him...but Bork Laser should've saved him from the Wyatt family.

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