The Wrestling Thread

I replaced Roman Reigns with Drew McIntyre with the Men's Royal Rumble unannounced entries.

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Aight, all is in.

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I actually wasn't planning to review NXT Take Over Philadelphia, but this show broke records, and became the worst Take Over yet. It wasn't that bad, but after watching through this show, I feel like every single other Take Over was better than this shit.

Match: Authors of Pain vs. Undisputed Era for the NXT Tag Team Championship
Result: As soon as Akam's leg was injured, I fucking knew the AOP was going to lose. Yeah, that's what happened.
Rating: 8/10
My Comment: Despite the predictability, this was a good quality match. Also see you Tuesday night, Authors of Pain!

Match: filler
Result: Velveteen Dream defeated Kassius Ohno
Rating: 4/10
My Comment: Why the fuck is Velveteen Dream over?

Match: Ember Moon defends her NXT Women's Championship against another MMA reject
Result: Ember Moon injured her arm, BUT she still ended up retaining the title. After the match, Shayna Baszler (i had to google her name because i fucking forgot) ambushed Ember Moon and locked her in 3000 submissions.
Rating: 2/10
My Comment: WWE's Creative Team is fair and balanced. (1)

Match: Aleistar Black vs. Adam Cole
Result: After tons of back-and-fourth extreme action, the Undisputed Era ended up interfering, until Sanity ran in and saved Aleistar Black. A few minutes later, Aleistar Black ended up picking up the victory on what was the best match of the night.
Rating: 12/10; EPIC FUCKING MATCH.
My Comment: HOLY SHIT, EC3 WAS IN THE CROWD BEFORE THE NEXT MATCH.

Match: Johnny Gorgano vs. Andrade Cien Almas for the NXT Championship
Result: Zelena interferes, Gorgano's wife evens the odds, and we all assume that Gorgano wins BUT HE MOTHER FUCKING DOESN'T GOD FUCKING DAMMIT THIS MATCH WASTED MY TIME
Rating: 2/10; Don't get me wrong, both guys put up a great match, but that was a shitty fucking decision the creative team made.
My Comment: Honestly, Johnny Gorgano let me the fuck down after losing that match. Thanks for reading my--HOLY SHIT TOMMASO CIAMPA RETURNED AND ATTACKED JOHNNY GORGANO. GOOD. HE DESERVED THAT SHIT AFTER WHAT JUST HAPPENED. THERE IS A GOD.

Overall rating: 5/10. Half good, half fucking shit.

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"great match 2/10"

do you work for polygon

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I do apologize for what I said about that last match, I was completely opinionated at the result of that match

Basically what I did was call both guys talented but called the ending of the match a big let down.

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>giving Almas/Gargano 2 out of 10

your opinion is now worthless and that match is going to be a contender for MOTY

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Yeah I can see it making it up there as match of the year.

In the bright side, the feud between Johnny Gorgano and Tommaso Ciampa is going to be an epic feud.

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Results are locked. Good luck, friends.

Christ, that was a good PPV.

CARD PREDICTIONS (WORTH THREE POINTS EACH):
Seth Rollins & Jason Jordan (c) vs The Bar for the Raw Tag Team Championship: Da Barr
The Usos (c) vs Chad Gable & Shelton Benjamin in 2-out-of-3 Falls Match for the SmackDown Tag Team Championship: The Usos, in a surprisingly weak 2-0 win. Points for nobody here.
AJ Styles (c) vs Sami Zayn & Kevin Owens in Handicap Match for the WWE Championship: AJ.
Brock Lesnar (c) vs Kane vs Braun Strowman in Triple Threat Match for the Universal Championship: Brock, of course.

RUMBLE PREDICTIONS (WORTH FIVE POINTS EACH):
Women's Royal Rumble: Asuka! Of course!
Men's Royal Rumble: Nakamura! Thank God.

SPECIAL PREDICTIONS (WORTH TWO POINTS EACH):
Raw Tag: Who gets the pin/sub on who? (1pt for each) Cesaro pinned Seth, didn't he?
SD Tag: Which team eats the first fall? Benjagables ate both of them, of course.
WWE: Who eats the pinfall? Owens did, in chicanery!
Universal: Who eats the pinfall? Kane, mercifully.
Women's Rumble: Who comes out as numbers 1 and 2? (1pt for each) Sasha Banks & Becky Lynch
Women's Rumble: Which number entrant will the winner be? 25. Ham actually got it Jesus Christ
Women's Rumble: Who will get the most eliminations, and how many? (1pt for each) Michelle McCool killed everyone with 5. How!?
Women's Rumble: How long will the match last? (2pts for closest guess, bonus point for anyone within 2 minutes): 58m57
Men's Rumble: Who comes out as numbers 1 and 2? (1pt for each) Rusev & Finn Bálor
Men's Rumble: Which number entrant will the winner be? 14
Men's Rumble: Who will get the most eliminations, and how many? (1pt for each) Finn Bálor and Roman Reigns share the wealth with 4.
Men's Rumble: How will Kofi escape elimination this year? There were pancakes, but he landed on Xavier Woods first, so NO POINTS.
Men's Rumble: How long will the match last? (2pts for closest guess, bonus point for anyone within 2 minutes): 65m27
Which match will Bleacher Report give the best grade to?: Men's Rumble gets an A+. Women's got an A.
Which match will Bleacher Report give the worst grade to?: Not counting the pre-show ofc, the Raw Tag match got a B-.



ham wins, everyone other than me getting a massive lead to start with makes this look a lot closer than it actually was. Actual raw score was 20/26/16/16. So Ham still kicked everyone's arse.

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How many times must I be second place

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You can have the Money in the Bank briefcase.

Which means nothing in this scenario. But still.

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my title win celebration:

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HAM'S LEAST FAVOURITE MATCH OF 2018 SO FAR JUST GOT A GODDAMN FIVE STAR RATING.

NXT FINALLY GOT ONE. JESUS CHRIST.

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i do have to edit that out lmao.... it was indeed a perfect-quality match. i was simply just salty Gorgano lost.

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Wow, that logo is actually shit. How lazy is their graphic designer nowadays?

Elimination Chamber time, unless it's Germany.

CARD PREDICTIONS (WORTH THREE POINTS EACH):
The Bar (c) vs Titus Worldwide for the Raw Tag Team Championship:
Matt Hardy vs Bray Wyatt:
Asuka vs Nia Jax:
Braun Strowman vs. Elias vs. Finn Bálor vs. John Cena vs. Roman Reigns vs. Seth Rollins vs. The Miz - #1 Contender's Elimination Chamber:
Alexa Bliss (c) vs. Bayley vs. Mandy Rose vs. Mickie James vs. Sasha Banks vs. Sonya Deville - Women's Elimination Chamber:

SPECIAL PREDICTIONS (WORTH TWO POINTS EACH):
Tag - who gets the pin/sub on who? (1pt for each):
Hardy/Wyatt - what comes first: the Twist of Fate or Sister Abigail?:
Asuka/Nia - will the first Asuka Lock of the match be the one that ends the match?:
Women's Chamber - who gets the first elimination on who? (1pt for each):
Women's Chamber - who is the last to be eliminated?:
Women's Chamber - how long does the match last? (2pts for closest, 1pt if within 60sec.):
Men's Chamber - who gets the first elimination on who? (1pt for each):
Men's Chamber - who is the last to be eliminated?:
Men's Chamber - how long does the match last? (2pts for closest, 1pt if within 60sec.):
Which match will Bleacher Report give the best grade to?:
Which match will Bleacher Report give the worst grade to?:

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CARD PREDICTIONS (WORTH THREE POINTS EACH):
The Bar (c) vs Titus Worldwide for the Raw Tag Team Championship: The Bar
Matt Hardy vs Bray Wyatt: Bold prediction - Draw/No contest
Asuka vs Nia Jax: Asuka
Braun Strowman vs. Elias vs. Finn Bálor vs. John Cena vs. Roman Reigns vs. Seth Rollins vs. The Miz - #1 Contender's Elimination Chamber: Roman Reigns
Alexa Bliss (c) vs. Bayley vs. Mandy Rose vs. Mickie James vs. Sasha Banks vs. Sonya Deville - Women's Elimination Chamber: Alexa Bliss

SPECIAL PREDICTIONS (WORTH TWO POINTS EACH):
Tag - who gets the pin/sub on who? (1pt for each): Sheamus on Apollo
Hardy/Wyatt - what comes first: the Twist of Fate or Sister Abigail?: Twist of Fate
Asuka/Nia - will the first Asuka Lock of the match be the one that ends the match?: No
Women's Chamber - who gets the first elimination on who? (1pt for each): Sasha Banks on Deville
Women's Chamber - who is the last to be eliminated?: Sasha Banks
Women's Chamber - how long does the match last? (2pts for closest, 1pt if within 60sec.): 45:35
Men's Chamber - who gets the first elimination on who? (1pt for each): John Cena on Finn Balor
Men's Chamber - who is the last to be eliminated?: Seth Rollins
Men's Chamber - how long does the match last? (2pts for closest, 1pt if within 60sec.): 59:25
Which match will Bleacher Report give the best grade to?: Men’s Chamber
Which match will Bleacher Report give the worst grade to?: Bray - Hardy

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CARD PREDICTIONS (WORTH THREE POINTS EACH):
The Bar (c) vs Titus Worldwide for the Raw Tag Team Championship: the bar
Matt Hardy vs Bray Wyatt: lmao bray wyatt
Asuka vs Nia Jax: Asuka
Braun Strowman vs. Elias vs. Finn Bálor vs. John Cena vs. Roman Reigns vs. Seth Rollins vs. The Miz - #1 Contender's Elimination Chamber: Roman Reigns
Alexa Bliss (c) vs. Bayley vs. Mandy Rose vs. Mickie James vs. Sasha Banks vs. Sonya Deville - Women's Elimination Chamber: Alexa Bliss

SPECIAL PREDICTIONS (WORTH TWO POINTS EACH):
Tag - who gets the pin/sub on who? (1pt for each): Cesaro on Titus O'Neil
Hardy/Wyatt - what comes first: the Twist of Fate or Sister Abigail?: Sister Abigail
Asuka/Nia - will the first Asuka Lock of the match be the one that ends the match?: no
Women's Chamber - who gets the first elimination on who? (1pt for each): Bayley on Mandy Rose
Women's Chamber - who is the last to be eliminated?: Sasha Banks
Women's Chamber - how long does the match last? (2pts for closest, 1pt if within 60sec.): 30 minutes
Men's Chamber - who gets the first elimination on who? (1pt for each): Elias on John Cena
Men's Chamber - who is the last to be eliminated?: Braun Strowman
Men's Chamber - how long does the match last? (2pts for closest, 1pt if within 60sec.): 40 minutes
Which match will Bleacher Report give the best grade to?: good question.... they're all gonna be bad matches... but I'll guess the men's elimination chamber
Which match will Bleacher Report give the worst grade to?: Women's Elimination Chamber

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CARD PREDICTIONS (WORTH THREE POINTS EACH):
The Bar (c) vs Titus Worldwide for the Raw Tag Team Championship: The Bar
Matt Hardy vs Bray Wyatt: Bray. They're going to bury Matt again.
Asuka vs Nia Jax: Asuka. Despite Nia breaking the streak on a B-show being a VERY WWE thing to do.
Braun Strowman vs. Elias vs. Finn Bálor vs. John Cena vs. Roman Reigns vs. Seth Rollins vs. The Miz - #1 Contender's Elimination Chamber: Roman Reigns
Alexa Bliss (c) vs. Bayley vs. Mandy Rose vs. Mickie James vs. Sasha Banks vs. Sonya Deville - Women's Elimination Chamber: Alexa Bliss

SPECIAL PREDICTIONS (WORTH TWO POINTS EACH):
Tag - who gets the pin/sub on who? (1pt for each): Seamus takes Apollo
Hardy/Wyatt - what comes first: the Twist of Fate or Sister Abigail?: Twist of Fate
Asuka/Nia - will the first Asuka Lock of the match be the one that ends the match?: Yeah
Women's Chamber - who gets the first elimination on who? (1pt for each): Mickie James takes Bayley
Women's Chamber - who is the last to be eliminated?: Sasha Banks
Women's Chamber - how long does the match last? (2pts for closest, 1pt if within 60sec.): 28m00
Men's Chamber - who gets the first elimination on who? (1pt for each): Seth Rollins takes Elias
Men's Chamber - who is the last to be eliminated?: Finn Bálor
Men's Chamber - how long does the match last? (2pts for closest, 1pt if within 60sec.): 32m00
Which match will Bleacher Report give the best grade to?: Men's EC
Which match will Bleacher Report give the worst grade to?: Bray v Matt

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I changed 2 of my answers, where the 2 Elimination Chamber Match length questions are. Women's chamber changed from 40 to 30, and Men's chamber changes from 50 to 40.

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I don’t love it but I’ll allow it.

Do whatever you want until 24 hours before the event, I say.

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CARD PREDICTIONS (WORTH THREE POINTS EACH):
The Bar (c) vs Titus Worldwide for the Raw Tag Team Championship: The Bar
Matt Hardy vs Bray Wyatt: Bray Wyatt
Asuka vs Nia Jax: Asuka
Braun Strowman vs. Elias vs. Finn Bálor vs. John Cena vs. Roman Reigns vs. Seth Rollins vs. The Miz - #1 Contender's Elimination Chamber: Roman Reigns
Alexa Bliss (c) vs. Bayley vs. Mandy Rose vs. Mickie James vs. Sasha Banks vs. Sonya Deville - Women's Elimination Chamber: Alexa Bliss

SPECIAL PREDICTIONS (WORTH TWO POINTS EACH):
Tag - who gets the pin/sub on who? (1pt for each): Cesaro on Titus
Hardy/Wyatt - what comes first: the Twist of Fate or Sister Abigail?: Sister Abigail
Asuka/Nia - will the first Asuka Lock of the match be the one that ends the match?: No
Women's Chamber - who gets the first elimination on who? (1pt for each): Sasha Banks on Mandy Rpse
Women's Chamber - who is the last to be eliminated?: Sasha Banks
Women's Chamber - how long does the match last? (2pts for closest, 1pt if within 60sec.): 16:00
Men's Chamber - who gets the first elimination on who? (1pt for each): Elias on John Cena
Men's Chamber - who is the last to be eliminated?: Seth Rollins
Men's Chamber - how long does the match last? (2pts for closest, 1pt if within 60sec.): 24:00
Which match will Bleacher Report give the best grade to?: Men's Chamber
Which match will Bleacher Report give the worst grade to?: Matt vs Bray

Note that these aren't who I necessarily want to win (heart says Braun or even Elias) and I'd love Mickie James to have one more run but we'll see! I also think the tag titles could go either way to be honest. But we'll see, I'll either get most of these right and be happy or I'll be pleasantly surprised for any other result!

Also I have probably botched those timings up pretty badly lmao but hey I'm sticking to my dumb guns.