Let It Out

Free DVD boot doesn’t work on every model though.

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I think the lens is shot. (disk still spins though)
The memory card reader is also really iffy too and doesn't always read things. I'll try cleaning both of them and see if that helps.

The McBoot memory card isn't a bad idea though

If you’re willing to spend like $70ish on it, third party hard drive adaptors and a 3.5 inch SATA drive will get you 1tb of storage and you can set up Free HD Boot. You’ll only need your PS2 to read the Free McBoot memory card once to set that up. At that price you could also just replace your PS2 so I guess it depends on how into piracy you are lol. But worst case scenario if you do replace the PS2 don’t throw away the old one, sell it with an inop disc drive but suitable for modding. I know there are like 156 million of them but I hate seeing something in gaming history that’s salvageable go to waste.

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Definitely not planning on throwing out the PS2 I have, but good to know.
I'm hoping cleaning it will fix things, but if not yeah it might just be easier to find a refurbed PS2.

Just gonna vent a lil bit. This isn't about anything directly related to Zenius, so don't worry please.
I'm tired of constantly feeling stressed out. I'm tired of feeling like I'm the butt of a joke everyone's in on except me. I'm aware that I have my own issues and I've done a lot of dumb shit, and I can't apologize enough for any of it. But it just feels like nothing I do is good enough to please anyone. Not even myself.
I'd like to feel like I'm a good person. And maybe I am. Maybe I'm not. I don't know anything about myself anymore. If this is what dissociating feels like, then it's a poor experience. Would not give it a 5 star review.
Recently went to my doctor to have my prescriptions changed. Finally got something to help with my ADHD (or ADD, I honestly don't fucking know at this point) and it was doing me wonders the past few days. But last night it feels like the scope of everything has changed. It feels like it's not doing anything. It feels like I'm just back in the same old rut I've always been in, only now I can kinda focus on what I'm doing more. Starting to wonder if being able to focus is just a curse. Like I need to have scrambled eggs for brains in order to survive. Or maybe the meds are just slowly taking their time to get working in my system and I'm overthinking again - like I normally do.
I do genuinely hope to open up the conversation for mental health's sake. I want to know the issues people have with me so I can know what kind of stuff to work on. People keep telling me everything's okay and everything's fine, and then suddenly everything ends up worse than ever and it's magically always been an issue. The lack of communication on all fronts is what kills me.
Then again, asking this kind of stuff opens up the floodgates to people who only have a caricature of me from years ago to chime in with stuff that I've already improved on or have been improving on. There's no pleasing them when their minds have already been made up on me. As much as I would love to try and have a positive relationship with as many people as possible, I know it's not possible. But fuck it. I'll remain in that pipe dream. I wanna spread happiness and friendliness.
Hopefully even a little bit of this was coherent enough to be worth the time to read. I hope you have a good day, and a better day if not.

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You’re a human being and as such you inherently deserve all the things you’re saying you want out of relationships. They should be positive, honest, and open. Unfortunately that’s not going to work with everyone but it’s easier for some people than others to cut out or ignore negative or hurtful people. Hopefully things get better.

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That is a great goal to have and I do think you've done a good job of it.

People desperately need to learn that being abrasive and argumentative isn't a replacement for a lack of personality.

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I don't want to get too into the weeds of what's being asked here, but I do wanna mention a few things with regards to the way you're feeling and the meds you're taking.

So ADHD meds are useful and therapeutic for many people. If you need them I'm happy that you're taking them. But they are also notorious for creating a sudden feeling of urgency and dissatisfaction. They make you want to do something, right now, anything. That's why they were often prescribed for kids who weren't doing well in school or whatever in the 90s and early 2000s, because they're very good at making you want to clean, do homework, study, job hunt, etc. They give you a sort of really powerful productive energy, which can be very useful, and is also important for people who can't focus.

But it might also help to explain why you're feeling the way that you do right now. Just a thought.

I appreciate the response, brother. I do feel the effects of the meds and I appreciate what they're doing. A lot of my grievances in the original post were stemming from before I started taking them, if that really matters. Things are going a lot more smoothly now when I keep up tabs on what I'm doing, and I feel myself being more active in little things instead of just being sedentary and miserable. Any little bit helps.

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Yeah. I took ADD meds through high school and college and they were super helpful to me, and I often had similar crises kinda to what you're feeling now. In my case I often felt like I was a failure because I couldn't really function like other people without drugs. People who take antidepressants also have feelings like this. Like, wow, I was so miserable before, such an awful, depressing person. Is this how other people feel all the time?

For what it's worth, I think the answer is almost always "no" to the question like "was I really shitty before this?" But also, it's not really a helpful question. Some people need glasses to see. Some people need a cane to walk. It just so happens that people aren't by default very sympathetic to people with mental health issues. The world we live in isn't really set up to accommodate us.

I don't mean to make light of people who are physically disabled in saying this, but there are no equivalents in this world to say, an entry ramp, for people who have ADD, depression, anxiety, in our every day lives. Part of that is because it's hard to even know what such a thing would look like -- your ability to contribute to society does require to some extent that you're able to remain focused on things. Work, school, family, significant others, they all pull focus. But another part is that physical disabilities are more visible, easier to see, and easier to understand.

I don't know you, but your struggles with being productive, remaining focused, keeping your life together etc. don't alone make you a bad person or anything. The demands of the world just happen to not align with how your particular set of characteristics (at least, right now -- it is possible to learn to live without medications). You're better off thinking more about how this newfound tool can help you in the immediate future than dwelling on what life was like before it. You only live once, after all.

I don't want to end the current topic, but I just want to also vent something out. Oh, and I relate to what you are feeling at times, Sigrev2, particularly with not being in on what other people near you are thinking of. Especially when they can't say it outright and either make you feel dumb trying to guess what it is or they run around the issue. Maybe the next time my mood is on a downswing, I'll tell more about it.

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I relate to this very much. What she says is comic-book villain tier, but I got some that is guaranteed to make people think that I am a piece of shit.

-I tried to come on to not one, not two, but three people, and irreparably broke not just a friendship but all communications period. It also made working with them a bit difficult when they don't even want to talk tome.

One of those guys held a farewell party and I had to be "convinced" by two more of my colleagues to be there because I don't want to cause them any more stress. I want to stay away from their lives, no strings attached, because I have hurt them.

-Be in extreme denial.

Me: "I have asthma" *cough* *cough*/ "Ah! I think I fucked my ankle a bit!"
Colleague: "I think its because you are fat. If you eat less, maybe these won't happen."
Me: "No it's not because of that. I've always had weak lungs, I inherited asthma from my mother."

-Agree to something, then disregard the whole thing.

Colleague: "No more eating chicken, mageman17. You stink up the carpool with the smell."
Me: *has chicken two weeks later*
Colleague: "Meageman17, what did I tell you? Causing problems again!"

There's a lot more, but I can't recall some of them anymore (I was cooking dinner when the thoughts came into my head and I had to finish that first before I can sit down and type this down).

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I haven't subjected myself to any diagnosis yet, but I won't be surprised if I have autism, ADHD or even narcolepsy. My mannerisms just fit too well under the symptoms listed under autism. For instance, I can't maintain eye contact and it just feels weird when I stare directly at someone's eyes, I involuntarily twitch at times, I think back a lot on memories, happy ones, sad ones, frustrating ones, past events that I could have done better, and it makes me spontaneously smile, laugh, do a tsk tsk, shake my head, do excessive hand movements as if to stop my mind from playing back a traumatic event, etc. Oh, and I got really mad, like shoot mad, when I saw my former arab boss dressed up in exercise clothes rather than his traditional Kandora/Thobe. I just saw him and then, poof, I'm pissed off for the rest of the day.

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This is my personal opinion, and it's about something that really doesn't matter, but I think DDR jacket art quality has gone to sh*t, especially for A20 Plus. I feel like the bland artistic direction of Dancerush leaked into DDR. So many jackets are just text on a background, or the lettering takes up most of the jacket. There's rarely beautiful art to accompany the music unless it's a crossover.

Like, these are so bland/ugly to me

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I'll take those jackets over any of the ones with random anime girls on them.

Honestly they remind me of the Max/Extreme era artwork for the most part. Literally nobody ever said Maxx Unlimited had a bad banner because it was just text on a background.

Also does anyone here play Pulsen on Steam? I didn't play it for a couple years and now when I go back it won't save my scores or remember my mods. The devs don't seem to be too active on it's community board anymore either. I took the nuclear option and deleted everything, not just the game but everything in appdata/roaming for it and it still won't work. I think it has something to do with the game's servers because my first launch after deleting everything and reinstalling my scores were gone, I played one song then closed the game and when I launched it again it logged me in and restored all my old scores and I still can't save. The game is built in Stepmania, I looked for anything I could that looked familiar like a stats.xml or something with scores but I can't find squat.

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Can't stand my constant roller coaster of emotions, tbh. If I'm not blisteringly angry, I'm 2 degrees off suicidal, and I'm waving back and forth between em like a dog's tail rn. Lots of stress, folks, lots of stress. My time will come where I'm happy, but it ain't now and it ain't soon.
Also, don't sing me sweet nothings. My depression sucks and whatnot, but we already know I won't do anything to harm myself. I know I'm worthy of life and friendship and whatever else people say to the miserable. Just having a mo.

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Currently playing this awesome game with my fightstick...Loving every minute of it!//

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Question: who is the worst Bemani producer

and why is it Des-Row

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damn, i wasn't expecting such an awful fucking opinion clicking on this thread today, but here we are...

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No regrets.

TIL that the Bemani Sound Team drama is what killed RB plus and Jubeat plus. Like, the same month it all went down the apps went dead immediately after.

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