Random Advice Thread

An apple a day does keep the dentist away, if you throw it at 'em.

---

Before heading out on a road trip (60 miles+), ALWAYS check your tires and tire pressure.

Almost died and/or got seriously injured driving from Miami to Tampa one time because of a blown tire.

---

Sometimes the best thing to do is to not give a shit.

This reminds me. Don't eat apples, gum, or any sticky candy with braces.

---

From the wise words of Bo Burnham:

"Those in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. ...or masturbate in the daytime."

---

^ I like that...just like eskimos shouldn't carry flamethrowers.

When going fishing, don't leave your poles at home. Else you'll have to use your arms to catch fish

"People in glass houses should probably masturbate in the cellar" is the only vaguely funny/witty thing that Jack Whitehall has ever come up with.

---

Nothing does a better job of testing a friendship than a pillow fight to the death.

---

It's also great when you fill your pillows with bricks or a dead body.

---

But the steam from their sweat would make the glass fog.

---

Tell the truth especially when it screws you over, so no one will have a reason to doubt you when you need them to believe you.
Not saying they won't still doubt you, but don't give them a reason to...

---

Shake it.
Don't break it.

Luv can't save u.

Do not attempt to hold in a fart. If you need to fart badly in a inappropriate time, at least try to do it softly and silently.

---

Never eat beans if you have plans on going to church or a friend's house.

---

If your XBOX gets the red ring, stop attempting to play it. It ain't gonna work.

---

Don't enter the brony fandom, it only leads to rustled jimmies.

Yes.

Never go camping in the winter.

---

slap on some diapers

Unless you want a nail shoved through your foot, put on some slippers when crossing a room that's being renovated with new carpets.

---

Never attempt to jump down 3/4 of a flight of stairs with a low ceiling.