Let It Out

Yesterday, I went on a DLC binge for Rock Band. Bought 27 songs, most I've been meaning to get for a while (some I've been waiting several years to get), some I found entirely out of guesswork, and some just to drain money.

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Lately, for the past few weeks or so, I felt my happiness, drive, and motivation slowly dwindling down, and as I write this post, I begin to feel if my life is slowly falling apart. Don't worry, I'm not suicidal, but my depression that I had earlier this year is slowly coming back and taking me into its grasp. Normally, this would be from me having Asperger's, since I have sad phases from time to time, but not like this. I honestly feel like I need to cry.

Some of the byproducts that come from this include broken promises, lack of social contact, procrastination, and, mostly, a lack of care. From the way I think I present myself out in the open, it feels like I'm the only one to blame for this hellhole I'm in. However, there's more to it than that, I believe.

I don't know what caused this depression so suddenly, but it could be due to completely breaking ties with someone I cared about, after our friendship/relationship began to crumble into nothing. The main reason why I believe this is most likely the cause is that even though I am well-connected with others in real life and on the Internet, something feels missing. I believe I actually need a certain "someone" that I can look to, without judgement or mistrust. I mean, I could be just a quivering pussy because that's how relationships work after it's broken, but I just can't shake this pain off.

What do I do? How do I stop this pain?

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You could go see a counselor. When I was really depressed (a few years ago), I sent myself to one. I thought it was kinda useless, but it also felt good talking to someone. You might consider anti-depressants too if your feelings become so severe they interfere with your daily life. They don't work for everyone though, I stopped taking mine (mostly due to financial issues).
For July, I decided to try and listen to 1 new album per day. However, summer school made me too busy to go through with it. I think I got though 15 days until it became too much of a hassle. Today I finally finished listening to the albums.

Pink = liked it
Blue = meh
Gray = it sucked
Green = couldn't even make it through the whole thing.
I probably won't do this again mostly because it's too stressful and I can't limit myself to just one album a day.

Guardians of the Galaxy is a good movie.

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Ryan, I suggest trying out probably going to a soup kitchen and volunteering.

This will probably come off sounding extremely cynical, but the fact of the matter is that most of the people you'll meet/be in relationships with really aren't worth a second of your time. Yeah, you will eventually come across genuine people who want nothing more than to make you happy, but you'll still have to put up with selfish dickbags until then. My advice? Make something out of it. Don't force yourself into anything. It'll only make it worse. Hang out with new people, but don't force it. At the same time, don't bury your problems. They won't go away if you just ignore them, and anyone who says they will is an idiot. Depression does not work like that at all. Yeah, you could just ignore that tornado that's ripping up the house around you, but that doesn't change the fact that it's still there and it's probably going to harm you. Find a way to channel whatever feelings you have into something constructive. Be honest with it. Just don't bottle your feelings up. You'll regret it.

Seeking out music, movies, books etc that will stimulate an emotional response can also be helpful. It obviously won't make the problems go away, but it'll make it easier to bear.

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New song/video from New Found Glory.

Along with an album title and release date.
Resurrection, coming out on October 8.
Get hype.

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After a Spring of disappointment and on the edge of many mental breakdowns. I ended up getting a 3.30 GPA in my summer classes! I needed a 2.0 for the classes to get out of academic probation and now that and my overall GPA is above 2.0.

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Congratulations, Pandy!

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YEAH BOI

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I have Thriller playing and I see this gif. It's perfect.

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The trick is to keep it up or you'll go back to being miserable. Just a tip. Don't get too cocky. That's when people lose.

There's the final straw for Twitch.

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Any alternatives to twitch?

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http://hitbox.tv

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How It Works: Scanning VODs Only

Audio Recognition will only be run against audio in VODs. We are not scanning live broadcasts and there is no automated takedown of live content.

Not so bad.

It's not Twitch's fault. It's not even Google's fault.

It's the music industry. They don't understand the concept of free advertisement and want to charge everyone for everything. Honestly, if it was up to them, they would make speakers, sharing MP3 players/earbuds, etc. illegal. Hitbox will run into the same situation if it gets large enough.