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The Joke Thread

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Post #81 · Posted at 2020-11-13 08:20:48pm 3.4 years ago

Offline AxelWasHere
AxelWasHere Avatar Member
1,583 帖子
United States
Reg. 2012-07-13

"No."
Quote: _|/-\43D
Some people say they pick their nose.

I was born with mine.

Stop.

Why.

No.
https://i.imgur.com/vnrpBDk.gif

Post #82 · Posted at 2020-11-13 08:52:39pm 3.4 years ago

Offline Musashi
Musashi Avatar Member
108 帖子
United States
Reg. 2014-05-03

How do we know all the ants in a colony are girls?

Otherwise they'd be uncles!

Why does a space rock taste better than an Earth rock?

'Cuz it's a little meatier (meteor)!

What's a good reason to steal a dolphin from the aquarium?

To add a purpose (porpoise) to your life!

Post #83 · Posted at 2020-12-05 09:15:08pm 3.3 years ago

Offline Zelda Anneliese
Zelda Anneliese Avatar Banned
2 帖子
Not Set
Reg. 2020-12-05

Why do cats always get their way?
They are very purr-suasive!

How do two cats end a fight?
They hiss and make up!

Post #84 · Posted at 2020-12-05 09:21:52pm 3.3 years ago

Online _|/-\43D
_|/-\43D Avatar Member
2,979 帖子
United States
Reg. 2011-11-09

How does a leopard change its spots?

He just has to move from here to there.
deez nuts

Post #85 · Posted at 2020-12-05 09:39:07pm 3.3 years ago

Offline NewbStepper
NewbStepper Avatar Moderator+
2,516 帖子
Canada
Reg. 2013-05-23

"Crybabies unite~ ♡"
Why do professional accountants know so little?

They have too many GAAPs in their knowledge.
ZIv Mod Squad: "The Eternal Crybaby"
Quote: 01angel
We're the Fangirl Sisters~
The Meitu Fangirl & the Alt Fangirl Laughing Hard
https://imgur.com/knA8DJz.png
Dear Lord Toon, you are simply amazing! Happy

Post #86 · Posted at 2020-12-06 02:09:59am 3.3 years ago

Offline DevilsLynAvenged12!
DevilsLynAvenged12! Avatar Member
427 帖子
United States
Reg. 2016-11-26

Why was King Arthur's army too tired to fight?

It had too many sleepless knights.

Post #87 · Posted at 2020-12-06 02:18:34am 3.3 years ago

Offline DarkFeline
DarkFeline Avatar Member
801 帖子
Philippines
Reg. 2010-08-31

"My paw is incompurrable!"
A bouncer kicked out a gay man out of a bar. A woman saw the event.

Woman: Why did you kick out that gay man?

Bouncer: Because he had the nerve to say thay he's prettier than me! I'm the only pretty one here. I'm the only queen here.
https://i.imgur.com/HuNZAc8.png
Credit to Lord Toon for the awesome banner.
Background scripts for Max-Extreme Random Movies users + FMVs.

Post #88 · Posted at 2021-03-19 12:52:02am 3 years ago

Offline banned_hahaha_jk
banned_hahaha_jk Avatar Banned
2 帖子
Not Set
Reg. 2021-03-19

lmao love dis thread bumpPuppy FacePuppy FacePuppy FacePuppy FacePuppy FacePuppy FacePuppy FacePuppy FacePuppy FacePuppy Face

Post #89 · Posted at 2021-03-19 12:59:53am 3 years ago

Offline RevAddict5
RevAddict5 Avatar Member
751 帖子
United States
Reg. 2013-06-10

"Bigger avatars when?"
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/D--AezYWsAEeYtc?format=jpg&name=small

Post #90 · Posted at 2021-03-19 01:04:30am 3 years ago

Offline salt814
salt814 Avatar Member
83 帖子
United States
Reg. 2021-01-22

What kind of technology was a craze among ancient Babylonians?

Tablets.
My simfile pack!
https://zenius-i-vanisher.com/simfiles/sodium%20chloride/sodium%20chloride.png?1612676836

Post #91 · Posted at 2021-03-19 01:08:14am 3 years ago

Online _|/-\43D
_|/-\43D Avatar Member
2,979 帖子
United States
Reg. 2011-11-09

Did you hear the one about Vladislav?

Vladislav, baby don't hurt me. Don't hurt me. No more.
deez nuts

Post #92 · Posted at 2021-04-14 03:02:43am 3 years ago

Offline mxwellc
mxwellc Avatar Member+
11 帖子
United States
Reg. 2021-02-07

The announcer when you have no-fail on but are trying hard songs:

https://i.imgflip.com/3hpm69.png

Post #93 · Posted at 2021-12-12 10:07:46pm 2.3 years ago

Offline fangfujiwara
fangfujiwara Avatar Member
1 Post
Austria
Reg. 2021-12-11

you dont have a tissue? well that your issue




(the worst i have)

Post #94 · Posted at 2021-12-13 09:20:13am 2.3 years ago

Online _|/-\43D
_|/-\43D Avatar Member
2,979 帖子
United States
Reg. 2011-11-09

Mario and Princess Peach just broke up! Supposedly, he told her, "It's not a-you. It's a-me, Mario!"
deez nuts

Post #95 · Posted at 2021-12-13 11:26:37am 2.3 years ago

Offline Retroguy
Retroguy Avatar Member
73 帖子
United Kingdom
Reg. 2017-10-23

"Just your average lurker."
Stolen from Game Grumps, but I still wanna share it anyway.

What's the difference between a chick pea and a garbanzo bean? I wouldn't pay $200 to have a garbanzo bean on my face.
DEGRS is the pinnacle of chart design.

Post #96 · Posted at 2021-12-14 05:50:39am 2.3 years ago

Offline salt814
salt814 Avatar Member
83 帖子
United States
Reg. 2021-01-22

What did the lumberjack yell when he cut down the tree one cold day?

Tim-BRR!!
My simfile pack!
https://zenius-i-vanisher.com/simfiles/sodium%20chloride/sodium%20chloride.png?1612676836

Post #97 · Posted at 2021-12-14 06:34:03am 2.3 years ago

Offline n00b_saib0t
n00b_saib0t Avatar Member
2,299 帖子
United States
Reg. 2007-02-05

Nintendo Network ID: n00bsaib0tNintendo Switch Friend Code: SW-7875-2425-72033DS Friend Code: 4871-6557-4900
"F***ing exhausted."
A guy walks into a doctor’s office with a frog on his head. The doctor says “what’s the matter with you?”, the frog says “it all started with a bump on my ass.”
Quote: sharibetsu in The Unwritten Rules of ZIv thread
Any popular thread must have at least one debate between n00b_saib0t and someone else.

Post #98 · Posted at 2021-12-26 10:09:48pm 2.3 years ago

Online _|/-\43D
_|/-\43D Avatar Member
2,979 帖子
United States
Reg. 2011-11-09

Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?

Because they lactose.
deez nuts

Post #99 · Posted at 2023-09-18 10:14:53pm 7.1 months ago

Offline 1033Forest
1033Forest Avatar Member
452 帖子
United States
Reg. 2016-05-08

Game Center Nickname: 1033Forest
"THEY GOT EVERYWHERE!"
Who wants to hear a knock-knock joke?

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Nobody.

Nobody who?

Nobody's gonna rescue us! That's who!

Mittens, Peanut, and Forest: [Groan]

Post #100 · Posted at 2023-09-19 12:14:32am 7.1 months ago

Offline salt814
salt814 Avatar Member
83 帖子
United States
Reg. 2021-01-22

Why couldn't 4 ask out 5?

He was 2^2
My simfile pack!
https://zenius-i-vanisher.com/simfiles/sodium%20chloride/sodium%20chloride.png?1612676836
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