The Wrestling Thread

Now that I'm calm, I can say that HIAC was good until the Miz/Maryse vs Bryan/Brie.

I did not expect Jeff Hardy vs. Randy Orton to be the match of the night.

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Right, Raw is going to pot because all of the belts worth caring for are in one feud that isn't even for any of the belts anyway, but whatever, WE'RE GOING 'STRAYA. All the SmackDown belts up for grabs, except the one I actually want to see defended for once. Remember when Nakamura was supposed to rejuvenate the US Championship? Yeah.

CARD PREDICTIONS (WORTH THREE POINTS EACH):
Bobby Lashley & John Cena vs. Elias & Kevin Owens:
Asuka & Naomi vs. The IIconics:
Daniel Bryan vs. The Miz - #1 Contender Match for the WWE Championship:
The Shield vs. Braun Strowman, Dolph Ziggler & Drew McIntyre:
Ronda Rousey & The Bella Twins vs. The Riott Squad:
Cedric Alexander (c) vs. Buddy Murphy for the Cruiserweight Championship:
The New Day (c) vs. The Bar for the SmackDown Tag Championship:
Becky Lynch (c) vs. Charlotte for the SmackDown Women's Championship:
AJ Styles (c) vs. Samoa Joe - No Countout, No DQ match for the WWE Championship:
Triple H vs. The Undertaker:

SPECIAL PREDICTIONS (WORTH TWO POINTS EACH):
Cena Match - which member of the heel team receives Cena's stupid new move first?:
IIconics Match - how long will this match last? (2pts for closest time, 1pt bonus for all within 60 seconds):
#1 Contender - will Maryse be directly involved in the conclusion of the match?
Shield Match - who gets the pinfall on who? (1pt for each)
Rousey Match - does Brie Bella do a stupid botch again?
Rousey Match - who gets the pinfall on who? (1pt for each)
CW - will this open the show?
S-Tag - who gets the pinfall on who? (1pt for each)
S-Women's - how does the the match end, pin, submission, or other means?
WWE - what comes first, Coquina Clutch or Phenomenal Forearm?
WWE - how long will this match last? (2pts for closest time, 1pt bonus for all within 60 seconds):
HHH Match - who interferes first, Kane or HBK?
HHH Match - how long will this match last? (2pts for closest time, 1pt bonus for all within 60 seconds):
Which match will main event the show?
Which match will Cultaholic give the best grade to?:
Which match will Cultaholic give the worst grade to?:

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CARD PREDICTIONS (WORTH THREE POINTS EACH):
Bobby Lashley & John Cena vs. Elias & Kevin Owens: expand boob and cena wins lol
Asuka & Naomi vs. The IIconics: Asuka and Naomi, although I'm predicting the crowd will cheer the IIconics
Daniel Bryan vs. The Miz - #1 Contender Match for the WWE Championship: The Miz :/
The Shield vs. Braun Strowman, Dolph Ziggler & Drew McIntyre: The Shield
Ronda Rousey & The Bella Twins vs. The Riott Squad: Ronda Rousey and Bella Twins
Cedric Alexander (c) vs. Buddy Murphy for the Cruiserweight Championship: Buddy Murphy
The New Day (c) vs. The Bar for the SmackDown Tag Championship: The Bar
Becky Lynch (c) vs. Charlotte for the SmackDown Women's Championship: Becky Lynch
AJ Styles (c) vs. Samoa Joe - No Countout, No DQ match for the WWE Championship: AJ Styles
Triple H vs. The Undertaker: Triple H

SPECIAL PREDICTIONS (WORTH TWO POINTS EACH):
Cena Match - which member of the heel team receives Cena's stupid new move first?: Elias
IIconics Match - how long will this match last? (2pts for closest time, 1pt bonus for all within 60 seconds): 10 minutes
#1 Contender - will Maryse be directly involved in the conclusion of the match? of fucking course
Shield Match - who gets the pinfall on who? (1pt for each) Roman on Dolph (predicting a triple powerbomb finish)
Rousey Match - does Brie Bella do a stupid botch again? yes
Rousey Match - who gets the pinfall on who? (1pt for each) Ronda Rousey on Sarah Logan
CW - will this open the show? No
S-Tag - who gets the pinfall on who? (1pt for each) Cesaro on Big E
S-Women's - how does the the match end, pin, submission, or other means? Pin. A dirty pin.
WWE - what comes first, Coquina Clutch or Phenomenal Forearm? Coquina Clutch
WWE - how long will this match last? (2pts for closest time, 1pt bonus for all within 60 seconds): 20 minutes
HHH Match - who interferes first, Kane or HBK? HBK
HHH Match - how long will this match last? (2pts for closest time, 1pt bonus for all within 60 seconds): 25 minutes
Which match will main event the show? Triple H vs Undertaker
Which match will Cultaholic give the best grade to?: Cruiserweight Championship
Which match will Cultaholic give the worst grade to?: Ronda and Bellas vs Riott Squad

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CARD PREDICTIONS (WORTH THREE POINTS EACH):
Bobby Lashley & John Cena vs. Elias & Kevin Owens: Bobby and Cena
Asuka & Naomi vs. The IIconics: The IIconics
Daniel Bryan vs. The Miz - #1 Contender Match for the WWE Championship: The Miz
The Shield vs. Braun Strowman, Dolph Ziggler & Drew McIntyre: The Shiend
Ronda Rousey & The Bella Twins vs. The Riott Squad: Ronda and Bellas (if Brie doesn't kill someone.)
Cedric Alexander (c) vs. Buddy Murphy for the Cruiserweight Championship: Cedric Alaxander
The New Day (c) vs. The Bar for the SmackDown Tag Championship: New Day
Becky Lynch (c) vs. Charlotte for the SmackDown Women's Championship: Charlotte (by DQ)
AJ Styles (c) vs. Samoa Joe - No Countout, No DQ match for the WWE Championship: AJ Styles
Triple H vs. The Undertaker: Non-finish/Double DQ. (If I have to pick one, I'll go Taker)
Nakamura vs. No one for the US Title: Nakamura.

SPECIAL PREDICTIONS (WORTH TWO POINTS EACH):
Cena Match - which member of the heel team receives Cena's stupid new move first?: Owens
IIconics Match - how long will this match last? (2pts for closest time, 1pt bonus for all within 60 seconds): 4:45
#1 Contender - will Maryse be directly involved in the conclusion of the match? Yes
Shield Match - who gets the pinfall on who? (1pt for each) Roman on Braun
Rousey Match - does Brie Bella do a stupid botch again? Yes
Rousey Match - who gets the pinfall on who? (1pt for each) Ronda taps out Ruby Riott
CW - will this open the show? No
S-Tag - who gets the pinfall on who? (1pt for each) Kofi on Cesaro
S-Women's - how does the the match end, pin, submission, or other means? Becky gets herself DQ'd
WWE - what comes first, Coquina Clutch or Phenomenal Forearm? Forearm
WWE - how long will this match last? (2pts for closest time, 1pt bonus for all within 60 seconds): 14:30
HHH Match - who interferes first, Kane or HBK? HBK
HHH Match - how long will this match last? (2pts for closest time, 1pt bonus for all within 60 seconds): 25:21
Which match will main event the show? Triple H VS Taker
Which match will Cultaholic give the best grade to?: Bryan VS Miz
Which match will Cultaholic give the worst grade to?: Ronda and Bellas VS Riott Squad.

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Well this is my home turf, so I better hope most of my predictions are right.

CARD PREDICTIONS (WORTH THREE POINTS EACH):
Bobby Lashley & John Cena vs. Elias & Kevin Owens: LOLCENAWINS (and also Lashley)
Asuka & Naomi vs. The IIconics: Asuka & Naomi (sorry IIconics)
Daniel Bryan vs. The Miz - #1 Contender Match for the WWE Championship: Daniel Bryan
The Shield vs. Braun Strowman, Dolph Ziggler & Drew McIntyre: Let's be honest, the Sheild's going to win.
Ronda Rousey & The Bella Twins vs. The Riott Squad: Rousey & the Bellas (sorry Riott Squad)
Cedric Alexander (c) vs. Buddy Murphy for the Cruiserweight Championship: Buddy Murphy
The New Day (c) vs. The Bar for the SmackDown Tag Championship: NEW DAY!
Becky Lynch (c) vs. Charlotte for the SmackDown Women's Championship: The Lass Kicker
AJ Styles (c) vs. Samoa Joe - No Countout, No DQ match for the WWE Championship: SAMOA JOE
Triple H vs. The Undertaker: Haitch.

SPECIAL PREDICTIONS (WORTH TWO POINTS EACH):
Cena Match - which member of the heel team receives Cena's stupid new move first?: Elias
IIconics Match - how long will this match last? (2pts for closest time, 1pt bonus for all within 60 seconds): 12:20
#1 Contender - will Maryse be directly involved in the conclusion of the match? Yes
Shield Match - who gets the pinfall on who? (1pt for each) Roman on McIntyre
Rousey Match - does Brie Bella do a stupid botch again? Yes
Rousey Match - who gets the pinfall on who? (1pt for each) Rousey pins Morgan
CW - will this open the show? Nope
S-Tag - who gets the pinfall on who? (1pt for each) Kofi on Cesaro
S-Women's - how does the the match end, pin, submission, or other means? A submission finish where Becky retains.
WWE - what comes first, Coquina Clutch or Phenomenal Forearm? Phenomenal Forearm
WWE - how long will this match last? (2pts for closest time, 1pt bonus for all within 60 seconds): 15:25
HHH Match - who interferes first, Kane or HBK? HBK
HHH Match - how long will this match last? (2pts for closest time, 1pt bonus for all within 60 seconds): 20:00
Which match will main event the show? Haitch vs Taker
Which match will Bleacher Report give the best grade to?: WWE
Which match will Bleacher Report give the worst grade to?: Bellas plus Rousey vs Riott Squad

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FUCKIN STRAYA, STREWTH I COULD FUCKING DIE FOR A BARBY RIGHT NOW

CARD PREDICTIONS (WORTH THREE POINTS EACH):
The Realization-That-You-Miss-Sami-So-Fucking-Much match: Cena and Lashley
Asuka & Naomi vs. The IIconics: Asuka and Naomi
Daniel Bryan vs. The Miz - #1 Contender Match for the WWE Championship: The Miz via SHENANIGANS
The Shield vs. Braun Strowman, Dolph Ziggler & Drew McIntyre: BRAAAAAAAAAAAUN
Ronda Rousey & The Bella Twins vs. The Riott Squad: Team Rousey (probably basically by herself)
Cedric Alexander (c) vs. Buddy Murphy for the Cruiserweight Championship: Murphy
The New Day (c) vs. The Bar for the SmackDown Tag Championship: New Day
Becky Lynch (c) vs. Charlotte for the SmackDown Women's Championship: Becky
AJ Styles (c) vs. Samoa Joe - No Countout, No DQ match for the WWE Championship: Joe
Triple H vs. The Undertaker: Undertaker

SPECIAL PREDICTIONS (WORTH TWO POINTS EACH):
Cena Match - which member of the heel team receives Cena's stupid new move first?: Elias
IIconics Match - how long will this match last? (2pts for closest time, 1pt bonus for all within 60 seconds): 11:30
#1 Contender - will Maryse be directly involved in the conclusion of the match?: No
Shield Match - who gets the pinfall on who? (1pt for each) Braun pins Rollins
Rousey Match - does Brie Bella do a stupid botch again? Yes
Rousey Match - who gets the pinfall on who? (1pt for each) Rousey pins Riott
CW - will this open the show? No
S-Tag - who gets the pinfall on who? (1pt for each) Big E pins Sheamus
S-Women's - how does the the match end, pin, submission, or other means? Pin
WWE - what comes first, Coquina Clutch or Phenomenal Forearm? Phenomenal Forearm
WWE - how long will this match last? (2pts for closest time, 1pt bonus for all within 60 seconds): 20:15
HHH Match - who interferes first, Kane or HBK?: Kane
HHH Match - how long will this match last? (2pts for closest time, 1pt bonus for all within 60 seconds): 25:00
Which match will main event the show?: Obviously the one with Triple H's big ego
Which match will Cultaholic give the best grade to?: AJ/Joe
Which match will Cultaholic give the worst grade to?: The one with the Bellas.

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I should have displayed this upside down to be a stereotypical asshole.

CARD PREDICTIONS (WORTH THREE POINTS EACH):
Bobby Lashley & John Cena vs. Elias & Kevin Owens: Lashley & Cena
Asuka & Naomi vs. The IIconics: The IIconics. Yeah, really.
Daniel Bryan vs. The Miz - #1 Contender Match for the WWE Championship: Daniel Bryan (let The Miz get the shenanigans at the title match)
The Shield vs. Braun Strowman, Dolph Ziggler & Drew McIntyre: The Shield
Ronda Rousey & The Bella Twins vs. The Riott Squad: Ronda Rousey & Some People
Cedric Alexander (c) vs. Buddy Murphy for the Cruiserweight Championship: Buddy Murphy
The New Day (c) vs. The Bar for the SmackDown Tag Championship: The New Day
Becky Lynch (c) vs. Charlotte for the SmackDown Women's Championship: Becky Lynch
AJ Styles (c) vs. Samoa Joe - No Countout, No DQ match for the WWE Championship: AJ Styles
Triple H vs. The Undertaker: The Undertaker

SPECIAL PREDICTIONS (WORTH TWO POINTS EACH):
Cena Match - which member of the heel team receives Cena's stupid new move first?: KO
IIconics Match - how long will this match last? (2pts for closest time, 1pt bonus for all within 60 seconds): 4m30
#1 Contender - will Maryse be directly involved in the conclusion of the match?: No
Shield Match - who gets the pinfall on who? (1pt for each) Ambrose on Ziggler
Rousey Match - does Brie Bella do a stupid botch again?: No
Rousey Match - who gets the pinfall on who? (1pt for each): Rousey on Logan
CW - will this open the show?: No
S-Tag - who gets the pinfall on who?: (1pt for each)Kofi on Seamus
S-Women's - how does the the match end, pin, submission, or other means?: Submission
WWE - what comes first, Coquina Clutch or Phenomenal Forearm?: Forearm
WWE - how long will this match last? (2pts for closest time, 1pt bonus for all within 60 seconds): 12m30
HHH Match - who interferes first, Kane or HBK?: HBK
HHH Match - how long will this match last? (2pts for closest time, 1pt bonus for all within 60 seconds): 18m30
Which match will main event the show?: HHH/Taker
Which match will Cultaholic give the best grade to?: Cruiserweight
Which match will Cultaholic give the worst grade to?: IIconics

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CARD PREDICTIONS (WORTH THREE POINTS EACH):
Bobby Lashley & John Cena vs. Elias & Kevin Owens: Cena/Lashley
Asuka & Naomi vs. The IIconics: The Iiconics because Asuka isn't done doing the job yet.
Daniel Bryan vs. The Miz - #1 Contender Match for the WWE Championship: DANIEL BRYAN OR I FUCKING RIOT I STG
The Shield vs. Braun Strowman, Dolph Ziggler & Drew McIntyre: I don't fucking care, but Dolph and the Lads.
Ronda Rousey & The Bella Twins vs. The Riott Squad: Rousey. Easy money.
Cedric Alexander (c) vs. Buddy Murphy for the Cruiserweight Championship: Cedric.
The New Day (c) vs. The Bar for the SmackDown Tag Championship: The Bar
Becky Lynch (c) vs. Charlotte for the SmackDown Women's Championship: Becky (pls)
AJ Styles (c) vs. Samoa Joe - No Countout, No DQ match for the WWE Championship: AJ Styles. I need my dream match.
Triple H vs. The Undertaker: I DON'T FUCKING CARE. NO CONTEST.

SPECIAL PREDICTIONS (WORTH TWO POINTS EACH):
Cena Match - which member of the heel team receives Cena's stupid new move first?: He won't use it.
IIconics Match - how long will this match last? (2pts for closest time, 1pt bonus for all within 60 seconds): 11 IIconic minutes
#1 Contender - will Maryse be directly involved in the conclusion of the match?: Yes
Shield Match - who gets the pinfall on who? (1pt for each) Dolph on Ambrose
Rousey Match - does Brie Bella do a stupid botch again? Of course
Rousey Match - who gets the pinfall on who? (1pt for each) Rousey on Nikki
CW - will this open the show? Oh yeah.
S-Tag - who gets the pinfall on who? (1pt for each) Sheamus on Big E
S-Women's - how does the the match end, pin, submission, or other means? DQ
WWE - what comes first, Coquina Clutch or Phenomenal Forearm? Clutch
WWE - how long will this match last? (2pts for closest time, 1pt bonus for all within 60 seconds): 17 minutes
HHH Match - who interferes first, Kane or HBK? HBK
HHH Match - how long will this match last? (2pts for closest time, 1pt bonus for all within 60 seconds): Too fucking long. 30 minutes.
Which match will main event the show? HHH/Taker. Search your heart etc., etc.
Which match will Cultaholic give the best grade to?: AJ/Joe
Which match will Cultaholic give the worst grade to?: HHH/Taker

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On the same team? Bit of a risk.

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What can I say? I'm a risky individual lol.

DAMN THIS WAS A GOOD SHOW!!! With how shit the general PPVs have been lately this blew me away and I'm super excited for the Saudi Arabia show. DANIEL BRYAN VS AJ STYLES FOR THE WWE TITLE IN FRONT OF A MILLION SCREAMING DIPLOMATS!! IT'S LIT!!!!

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Murphy won and that was a complete trash show otherwise.

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Notes:
- Yeah, the Mr. Small Package thing was amusing and Miz getting shown up was a good bit of revenge for Bryan, but... that match easily could've gone, like, 15-20 minutes and be a 4+ match.
- Really wished Joe would've won. AJ's fucking great and all, but Joe has lost so many chances at the title...
- Possibly the best Cruiserweight division match WWE have put on since bringing it back. 4.75 stars. Match of the night. In my top 10 matches of the year.
- At least Asuka didn't eat the pin? Oh, fuck it...
- Crown Jewel got moved to a smaller venue. I assume this was because they finally realized Yokozuna was dead and the demand went down.
- HBK is coming out of what I thought was the perfect retirement for a MEANINGLESS TAG MATCH IN SAUDI ARABIA. Fuck you and everybody.
- Who's ready for more propaganda about how great Saudi Arabia is and how it's the most progressive country in the world?

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I need to finish watching this. Opening was good if pretty obvious, loved that Backstabber/Coup de Grace finish. Women’s match solid even though the ending didn’t make that much sense other than another failed attempt to get people to boo Lynch. Cena match was the most Cena match to ever Cena. I would be angry if it mattered, but it didn’t so I thought it was actually funny. IIconics match can go fuck itself. WWE match was REALLY good though, I’m not too pissed about Joe losing but I’m worrying that they’re keeping the belt in AJ just to stop people talking about the CM Punk reign. From that only caught the end of the HHH match and I have zero interest to watch the rest of that match. The bits between though, yeah, I need to see them.

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Undertaker/HHH match was... surprisingly entertaining. It wasn't GOOD, but it's entertaining in the same way that a car crash is. Plenty of nonsense and nostalgia bombing.

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Yo, that wasn't that bad, wasn't it?

CARD PREDICTIONS (WORTH THREE POINTS EACH):
Bobby Lashley & John Cena vs. Elias & Kevin Owens: John Cena hits the 6 moves of doom. This was funny.
Asuka & Naomi vs. The IIconics: Iiconics. For this match the first sentence up there was sarcastic. This was balls.
Daniel Bryan vs. The Miz - #1 Contender Match for the WWE Championship: Bryan, in a match people were REALLY quite pissed about.
The Shield vs. Braun Strowman, Dolph Ziggler & Drew McIntyre: Of course it was the Shield.
Ronda Rousey & The Bella Twins vs. The Riott Squad: Of course it was Ronda.
Cedric Alexander (c) vs. Buddy Murphy for the Cruiserweight Championship: Buddy Murphy wins in a FANTASTIC match.
The New Day (c) vs. The Bar for the SmackDown Tag Championship: The New Day retain. Nice opener.
Becky Lynch (c) vs. Charlotte for the SmackDown Women's Championship: Charlotte wins by DQ.
AJ Styles (c) vs. Samoa Joe - No Countout, No DQ match for the WWE Championship: AJ Styles in a very fine match.
Triple H vs. The Undertaker: HHH wins in one big glorious car fire.

SPECIAL PREDICTIONS (WORTH TWO POINTS EACH):
Cena Match - which member of the heel team receives Cena's stupid new move first?: Elias did. Surprisingly they didn't make KO the buttmonkey here.
IIconics Match - how long will this match last? (2pts for closest time, 1pt bonus for all within 60 seconds): 5'44. Me and Pandy lowballed it, but too much. Pandy was ONE second in the points, I'm 14 seconds out. Tough.
#1 Contender - will Maryse be directly involved in the conclusion of the match?: She didn't!
Shield Match - who gets the pinfall on who? (1pt for each): Dean gets it on Dolph.
Rousey Match - does Brie Bella do a stupid botch again?: I don't think she did, did she? That's for Raw.
Rousey Match - who gets the pinfall on who? (1pt for each): Rousey gets the submission on BOTH members of the Riott Squad who I had to Wikipedia to remember.
CW - will this open the show?: It didn't! Happy days.
S-Tag - who gets the pinfall on who? (1pt for each): Kofi gets it on Seamus.
S-Women's - how does the the match end, pin, submission, or other means?: It was a DQ. Well done those of you who got it.
WWE - what comes first, Coquina Clutch or Phenomenal Forearm?: The Coquina Clutch came first.
WWE - how long will this match last? (2pts for closest time, 1pt bonus for all within 60 seconds): We all lowballed this, 23'43. Quickman gets it, but way off.
HHH Match - who interferes first, Kane or HBK?: HBK of course. Kane was asleep.
HHH Match - how long will this match last? (2pts for closest time, 1pt bonus for all within 60 seconds): 27'44. Almost down the middle between quite a few of you, akio gets it but about 2 and a half minutes out.
Which match will main event the show?: The HHH match. Of course.
Which match will Cultaholic give the best grade to?: ofc the PPV I changed it from Bleacher Report it is the one they forget to do a Graded to. We're doing Bleacher Report, then. Cruiserweight match gets an A+.
Which match will Cultaholic give the worst grade to?: Sadly, the Bryan match got an F. That's disappointing.

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I REALLY shit the bed on this one.

At least I'm still good at New Japan predictions.

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As you'll all know, Roman Reigns has had to relinquish the Universal Championship due to leukemia.

I think you can all agree that we wish him our best wishes. Break cancer's back and make it humble one more time, big dog.

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Yeah, this definitely sucks for him. Hoping he's able to beat it a second time.

As a loyal fan of Roman Reigns, I wish him a speed recovery. I almost teared up during that segment last night...

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