The Wrestling Thread

The women's storylines right now are fairly mediocre. Shame NJPW doesn't have a joshi division, otherwise I'd watch that instead.

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True they're not exactly to write home about. I still look back to classics (of the modern era) like Kaitlyn's attacker, Kaitlyn's Secret Admirer, Team Total Divas V1 vs Team Real Divas, Aj Lee vs Bellas ex. Paige and then the Divas Revolution storyline.

I actually can't help linking back to the latter, holding Becky, Sasha and Charlotte on a higher pedestal than the other divas.

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@mageman17

Yes, I actually hope Alexa Bliss wins the big one whenever her and Becky Lynch fights for the title.

@Quickman

Incase you missed Smackdown, Randy Orton turned heel yet again, RKOing Kane and helping the Wyatt Family win.

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Hell in a Cell better be good tonight. Since 2010, the ending of all HIAC shows were heel glory, and irritating heel glory at that. Will that apply for this year too?

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KO's going over, I know THAT much...

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FINALLY, the Ham HAS COME BACK to Rochester, New York, to annihilate this show! Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to another reason why I prefer Smackdown over RAW; Welcome to Helena Sell 2016 shout out to mokou for that nick name, where each and every show ends with heel glory, including this very show. This show also features 103241908513 different commentators who speaks their different languages, as if I actually give a fuck. No offense, but it's a waste of 5 minutes of my life everytime they're introduced. Anyways, let's... do... thiiiiIIIIIIIIIIIIS.

Match: Helena Sell Match #1: Roman Reigns vs. Rusev
Result: After a legit great match, Roman Reigns ended up winning.
Rating: I usually rate it 10/10 because I'm a loyal Roman Reigns fan, but BOTH guys put up a great match. 10/10
My comment: Best (and most tolerable) match of the night.

Match: Enzo Amore and Big Ass vs. the Bullet Club
Result: The Bullet Club wins.
Rating: 8/10; the Bullet Club dominated, honestly.
My comment: I'm starting to get scared for Enzo Amore and Colin Cassidy. Are they becoming jobbers? Are they turning heel soon? Why are they losing so much matches?

Match: A match I never even knew was on the card; Bayley vs. Dana Brooke
Result: Bayley wins
Rating: 7/10 at best.
My comment: AYYYYYYYYYYYYY WE WANT SOME BAYLEY.

Match: Helena Sell Match #2: Sethiroth vs. Kevin Owens, helped by his bae who is apparent-fucking-ly super strong and athletic for his age aka Chris Jericho, whose defeated AJ Styles, Sami Zayn, and even put up a match against Braun Strowman
Result: LOLOWENSWINS
Rating: The beginning of the match was 10/10, it was amazing. When Chris Jericho entered, 0/10 for being pussies.
My comment: inb4 I made the list of Jericho

Match: A match I totally cared at all about; "Megaman" TJ Perkins vs. Coming from /The/ Brian Kendrick Species Laboratory, ladies and gentlemen, I introduce to you, A Brian Kendrick!
Result: A Brian Kendrick won the Cruiserweight Championship
Rating: 7/10; Great Match, but I don't know or care about the cruiserweight division.
My comment: *shrugs*

Match: Cesaro and Sheamus vs. The New Day
Result: We all know they're keeping the tag team championship for the rest of our lives. FOR ETERNITY.
Rating: 0 / 10
My comment: *chants* I AM WRITER. *bangs head /hard/ on brick wall* I AM WRITER. *bangs head /hard/ on brick wall* I AM WRITER. *bangs head /hard/ on brick wall* I AM WRITER. *bangs head /hard/ on brick wall*

Match: Helena Sell Match #3: Sasha Banks vs. Charlotte
Result: At first, after Sasha Banks' weak fucking ass was powerbombed through the announcer table, she was going to be stretchered to the back and Charlotte was going to win the title via forefeit. However, Sasha Banks re-entered the match... AND STILL LOST. LOLCHARLOTTEWINS
Rating: It's one thing to get injured and put on a stretcher, but it's another thing to run in the ring and fight THEN LOSE. These women indeed made history. This was a fucking first timer, to see someone getting injured, stretchered, then run back in the ring, AND LOSE. A wrestler usually wins when they re-enter the ring. BUT....it wasn't a bad match. I got what I wished for, and that was to see Charlotte get put through brutal pain. That satisfied me, and that's the ONLY reason this match has anymore than 0 points. Actually, you know what? I can't even hate Charlotte. As much as I'd love to see a monster truck kill her, she didn't hide behind anyone to win the match. She's very talented, and does her job very well. This match was also a great match too, so I won't COMPLETELY hate on it, so here's to ya.... 8/10.
My comment: Regardless, it was HEEL GLORY IN THE ENDING OF THE SHOW just like every single other Hell in a Cell PPV's/

Overall rating: 5/10. It's not the matches I hated, it was the results. Also, incase you were wondering, the New Day didn't even win. They got disqualified after Kofi Kingston hit Sheamus with the trouble in paradise. I went through a lot of hell trying to keep patient with Hell in a Cell 2016. PUN INTENDED. Also, I'm not stupid. Brock Lesnar is gonna do his redundant/retarded shit and defeat Goldberg, or some bullshit disqualification is going to happen. All I know is Goldberg isn't winning clean. I'm not stupid. I feel bad for whoever roots for Goldberg, including myself, because I'm sure as hell not rooting for Brock Lesnar after the abomination that happened at the ending of SummerSlam. The match is going to be bad. I'm calling it right now. The rating of the match is going to be a negative number out of ten. #CancelWWENetwork

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Cruiserweight match was best of the night. Fuck off with your boring Reigns slog shit. Show was okay, Not great, but nothing worth ranting about. GG, WWE.

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Send the fans home silent, GJ.

I missed the first hour of the show because I was messing around with my new capture card and...well, kind of forgot about it.

It was...fine, I disagree with some of the booking decisions - I'll probably elaborate later on.

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boy i feel like crap. imma make a long story short then get some rest lol. i said the matches were great, and spectacular. the results just angered me. also, ladies and gentlemen, Brock Lesnar vs Goldberg is a trap. i warned you at the end of my HIAC review last night. don't put your hopes up. anyways, ttyl.

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EDIT: I made my big return at the Royal Rumble earlier. I'll be reviewing both NXT Take Over Toronto and Survivor Series one by one this weekend.

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Have to admit, I'm having a little bit of a more difficult time predicting Survivor Series, due to the fact that there's no real logical feuds taking place with it being Smackdown vs. RAW. So I'll try and qualify my predictions by explaining exactly what I think should go on.

Ultimately, this is more like fantasy booking as opposed to predictions, I guess. Ordered for storyline reasons.

The Miz def. Sami Zayn - This one straight off the bat, home town hero gets done over by Miz cheating (again). Good heel heat for Miz (again, home town hero and cheating), Zayn is *furious* - we'll come back to this one later.

Team Cheese and Crackers def. Team New Daylight Savings - and it's 1-0 to Smackdown! Sheamus and Cesaro infight, Club and Canzo infight, American Alpha go wild, Hype Bros stay hype.

Brian Kendrick def. Kalisto - Cruiserweights stay on RAW and the only cruiserweight with any sort of story behind him keeps the title. RAW continues to not build up the division properly.

Team Chris and Kevin def. Team Ellsworth - and it's 1-1 (ooooh). Styles turns on the team, Ellsworth does something stupid, probably resulting in Ambrose's elimination. Undertaker won't be happy - that's also important.

Filler def. Filler - Need a stopgap in this booking, who's not fighting? Rusev def. Apollo Crews in about 25 seconds?

Team Bella def. Team Flair - Lot's of infighting, Carmella is DQ'd for attacking Bella, Bayley tries to get Sasha and Charlotte hugging, is eliminated after they both attack. All very messy, Bliss is last woman standing, pinning Charlotte after she pins Becky. Smackdown win and get 3 picks from RAW. Sami Zayn insists he wants to punch Miz (who doesn't), is one of the picks. Tease picking Jericho, DANIEL BRYAN JUST MADE THE LIST. "We will make our remaining picks LIVE TOMORROW NIGHT ON RAW".

Goldberg def. Lesnar - Yup, this happens.

So storyline development.

Miz and Zayn are now in a feud on Smackdown, Zayn finally has something to do, Ziggles will have to find something else. Daniel Bryan and Miz continue their mini feud by Zayn being a draft pick just to annoy Miz.
Undertaker DESTROYS James Ellsworth - I really want to see how much he'll bounce from a Tombstone. Undertaker vs. Styles set up for the Rumble.
Bliss angles to move to RAW or another Women's title shot, goes into some sort of manipulative, intelligent storyline which suits her character.
Carmella keeps beating up Bella, cause that's fun
New Day losing streak, can't seem to buy a win - cracks are showing but keep retaining through dodgy decisions, DQ, count-out, double pin draws.
Bayley starts getting frustrated that she's being ignored by both Charlotte and Sasha, keeps her gimmick because that's what got her over in the first place
And there's probably more...

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Don't know what they're going to do with Taker. Him saying "WIN OR I FUCK YOU UP" on SmackDown was very heel of him...

Also, I seriously DO NOT care about Goldberg/Lesnar. They could literally cancel the match and I'd shrug.

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They should've At least had a world title match here. Brock vs Goldberg is going to be bad. I'm calling it.

Also I predict NXT to be an amazing PPV tonight. Mickie James returns, Bobby Roode vs Tye Dillinger, Nakamura vs Joe. Oh hell yeah.

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Asuka and Nakamura for the win? I really don't think they have big enough competition in the roster yet.

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Predictions for NXT Takeover:

Asuka and Nakamura for the wins.

Kind of expecting DIY to go over Revival, seems like it's about time in that rivalry.

If they have a 6 woman tag match, I suspect Billie Kay and Peyton Royce are better suited to go over than Liv Morgan and Aliyah, even with a heel Asuka as champion. I also expect Ember Moon to be very much protected in that match.

Tye Dillinger vs. Bobby Roode could go either way, probably a Roode dirty win to continue that rivalry somewhat.

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I think Roode will win too, then Tye Dillinger will go to the main roster ....unfortunately as a jobber, like Jinder Mahal and Curt Hawkins who returned only to be jobbers.

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Lesnar v Goldberg. I did not see that coming. The megamatch was megadisappointing.

Ladies and Gentlemen, this is the point where I review 2 shows in one post. Both NXT Take Over Toronto and Survivor Series 2016 proved me wrong in so many ways.

I'll be starting with NXT Take Over Toronto first.

Match: 10 TEN 10 TEN 10 TEN vs. GLORIOUS
Result: Bobby Roode won. Totally unpredictable. *sarcasm*
Rating: 7/10; the match was meh but not bad.
My comment: Tye Dillinger on the main roster confirmed.

Match: TM61 aka a pair of nobodys trying so hard to gain my attention and shouldn't have beaten Sanity vs. the Authors of Pain
Result: Thankfully, the Authors of Pain won.
Rating: Both teams, I'll admit, put up a great great match. 10/10
My comment: Rest in peace, Dusty Rhodes. Both of your sons are talented wrestlers.

Match: Tag Team Championship Match that I didn't even fucking know was a 2 out of 3 falls match.
Result: Ciampa and Gorgano finally wins, and the Revival can go fuck themselves!
Rating: THANK YOU JESUS. 10/10
My comment: This was the first thing that proved me wrong. I expected LOLREVIVALWINS, but I was thankfully wrong. It's sometimes great to be wrong. The Revival is a talented tag team, but everytime I see them cheat themselves to victory, I wanna dive in lava.

Match: Asuka vs. Mickie James
Result: Asuka wins AND turns heel declining a hand shake.
Rating: 8/10; Mickie James is gaining ring rust rofl
My comment: Asuka is my favorite woman wrestler in WWE, and I can't wait until the day she gets to KO-kick Charlotte on RAW.

Match: Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Samoa Joe
Result: Unexpectedly, Samoa Joe wins back the belt, and we won't see him on the main roster anytime soon apparently.
Rating: 9/10, as pissed off as I am.
My comment: This was the second thing that proved me wrong. I was expecting Joe to put Nakamura over then go to RAW after Survivor Series.

Overall show rating: 8/10. I can't say I was 100% happy with this show, but atleast nothing pissed me off TOO badly. As much of a prick as Triple H is in real life, he's the mastermind behind NXT. Imagine what'll happen when Vince McMahon is no longer owning WWE.

Now for Survivor Series 2016.

NOTE: I wanted every single match to be won by Smackdown.

Match: Women's Smackdown vs. Raw Match
Result: Before I even say the result, let me give you some logic. Whenever Charlotte is involved in a match, she walks out as the winner, and she'll make sure she pisses everybody off if she failed to piss everybody off. With that being said, Team Raw won, and I'm happy Bayley got the final pin, but then Charlotte AMBUSHES Bayley because yeah.
Rating: 6/10
My comment: Fuck you, Raw. Your roster has so much fucking annoying wrestlers.

Match: Jobbi Zayn vs. the Miz
Result: LOLMIZWINS
Rating: 2/10
My comment: Same ol' cliche Miz cheating to victory then thinking he's the best when the last time he won a match clean was that one match against Brodus Clay, as a face in 2013. I wouldn't be surprised if Maryse is wearing the pants in their relationship.

Match: Tag Team Smackdown vs. Raw Match
Result: First off, THE NEW DAY GOT ELIMINATED JUST A FEW MINUTES INTO THE MATCH. THERE IS A GOD. Team Raw still pulls off winning, though.
Rating: 7/10
My comment: Fun fact, all 10 men on Team Smackdown were all (AND I REPEAT "ALL") either jobbers or unemployed 1-3 years ago.

Match: Bruncha Lucha I'm hungry now lol gimme kraft macaroni and cheese with ketchup vs. The Brian Kendrick Thing Species
Result: I totally care about this match. Baron Corbin entered the ring, because he is just as entertaining as the Cruiserweight Division, and interfered, and helped Kendrick retain the Cruiserweight Championship. This was totally an exciting match. I didn't use the bathroom or get 2 cups of diet pepsi while that match was going on either.
Rating: Totally fucking exciting. 5000 / 10. Match of the night guys.
My comment: The Cruiserweight Division should totally main event wrestlemania. They're special enough to turn the arena into a purple ecstasy. Okay I was sarcastic about all of this shit. I never pay attention to this shit. MOVING ON.

Match: Men's Smackdown vs. Raw Match
Result: AJ Styles was a prick and caused Dean Ambrose to get eliminated. Shane McMahon got eliminated via injury, because his dumbass dived towards Roman Reigns, and Roman Reigns counter-speared him. I love Roman Reigns, but he should've been more fucking careful. NOW you have a reason to get booed at. :/ Later on in the match, Ambrose ran in the ring and reunited with the Shield, and they triple powerbombed AJ Styles. Luke Harper interferes the match, apparently everybody is excited over that, because Luke Harper is apparent-fucking-ly just as charasmatic as the Rock. Anyways, Team Smackdown wins. Thank god.
Rating: 7/10
My comment: I am so glad Raw didn't clean-sweep Smackdown. Also this was the third thing that proved me wrong. I thought Raw WOULD clean-sweep Smackdown, since various guys on Team Raw has defeated various guys on Team Smackdown in the past.

Match: Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar
Result: AHHH HAHAHAHAHAHA Golberg won in 2 fucking minutes. LMFAO fuck off Bork.
Rating: HOLY SHIT, THE RATING SCALE EXCEEDS 10 WITH NO SARCASM. 25/10
My comment: This was the fourth thing that proved me wrong. I am HAPPY to be wrong too! I know the Match was just 2 minutes long, but IT WAS ABOUT FUCKING TIME FOR BROCK LESNAR TO GET HIS ASS HANDED TO HIM. I was predicting this match to be a terrible suplex city bitch match, knowing how old Goldberg is. This match goes to tell us all this quote, "Never judge a book by its cover." I was expecting Goldberg to have major ring rust, but I was happily wrong! Also Brock Lesnar fucking deserved that after ending the Undertaker's Wrestlemania streak.

Overall show rating: 8/10. The ending to this show was fucking golden. I hated most of this show too, but this ending made up for it. I'm so fucking happy, and I've been replaying that last match every 20 minutes. Good job, WWE. You made up for the bullshit throughout the first 3 hours.

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I'm thinking that Nakamura lost to fast track him over to the main brands. Possibly at the Rumble.

Then again I thought that they were going to bring the Cruiseweights over to Smackdown so what do I know

Also it seems confirmed that it'll be Nakamura v Joe III in Melbourne in December, Steel Cage match. OOH.

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unbiased review that totally doesn't make me want to vomit and say "oh my god shut the fuck up please" as usual, ham

god you're almost as bad as the wwe sins twat

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copyright infringement 2: expansion

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