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Post #61 · Posted at 2009-08-17 03:13:48am 14.6 years ago

Offline Vince Offer
Vince Offer Avatar Banned
8 Posts
United States
Reg. 2009-08-17

"You're gonna love my nuts."
What's that? You don't believe I'm Vince Offer? The hooker beating all time best pitchmen in the history of ever? I'll send you a ShamWow absolutely free, but you have to order right now because you know we can't do this all day.


http://users.marketleverage.com/42/6834/25386/

Post #62 · Posted at 2009-08-17 03:18:34am 14.6 years ago

Offline Max
Max Avatar Member+
8,111 Posts
United States
Reg. 2008-02-05

Nintendo Network ID: maxninja1143DS Friend Code: 392661848995Game Center Nickname: maxninja114
"Charlie isn't real"
...someone check his IP >_>

Post #63 · Posted at 2009-08-17 03:19:45am 14.6 years ago

Offline PureBlue
PureBlue Avatar Member
2,925 Posts
United States
Reg. 2009-04-08

Nintendo Switch Friend Code: SW-5116-3740-7232
"I'm your thorn."
HOLD ON A SECOND, LET'S TAKE EVERYTHING EXTREMELY SERIOUSLY.
http://i.imgur.com/arQKXn5.png

Post #64 · Posted at 2009-08-17 03:20:51am 14.6 years ago

Offline Max
Max Avatar Member+
8,111 Posts
United States
Reg. 2008-02-05

Nintendo Network ID: maxninja1143DS Friend Code: 392661848995Game Center Nickname: maxninja114
"Charlie isn't real"
OKAY.

Vince, your about to see what happens when you mess with The Billy Mays team.

Post #65 · Posted at 2009-08-17 03:22:55am 14.6 years ago

Offline Vince Offer
Vince Offer Avatar Banned
8 Posts
United States
Reg. 2009-08-17

"You're gonna love my nuts."
I can't believe you guys actually took it seriously.
http://users.marketleverage.com/42/6834/25386/

Post #66 · Posted at 2009-08-17 03:30:07am 14.6 years ago

Offline RGTM
RGTM Avatar Moderator+
7,195 Posts
United States
Reg. 2007-07-19

Nintendo Network ID: xRGTMxNintendo Switch Friend Code: SW-6034-2315-7724Game Center Nickname: xRGTMx
"BBCode Not Allowed"
*gets a popcorn*
ZIv Mod Squad: "shark jumpscare"
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/926629361858273310/1176900767613997157/EC2E821F-8C1F-4894-9E77-59CB48D2FD35a.gif?ex=660d6fc0&is=65fafac0&hm=f09590db85453f3661ef757d7a859f3212a60fd34bdd378b61c3694fe904fd36&

Post #67 · Posted at 2009-08-17 03:39:16am 14.6 years ago

Offline Rwr4539
Rwr4539 Avatar Moderator+
1,013 Posts
Not Set
Reg. 2007-02-03

"I'm like Peter Pan, but a prick"
Quote: Vince Offer
Hi it's Vince with SlapChop! You're going to be slapping your troubles away with the SlapChop. Here's a potato. One slap, you got big chunks for stew, two slaps, home fries in a second. Here's a mushroom, the more you do it, the finer it gets. You don't have to switch any blades! Now, you love salad, you hate making it. You know you hate making salad, that's why you don't have any salad in your diet! One slap, salad! I love pizza too but once in a while get the veggies in, at least throw it on top of the pizza. You're gonna change your eating habits. 4 5 seconds it's done! This tuna looks BOORING. Stop having a boring tuna, stop having a boring life! Now you're gonna have a nice tuna! You'll have an exciting life now! You're gonna love my nuts! If you call now, we'll also send you the Graty, and watch this! Tacos, fettuccine, linguine, martini, bikini! But if you call within the next 20 minutes because you know we can't do this all day, we'll send you the Graty absolutely free! But you have to call now!

http://www.gossipsucker.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/vince_slap_chop_youre_going_to_love_my_nuts.jpg

Fucking winner.

Post #68 · Posted at 2009-08-17 03:51:39am 14.6 years ago

Offline MarsPhoenix
MarsPhoenix Avatar Member
649 Posts
Not Set
Reg. 2007-12-08

This thread is the closest z-i-v will ever be to /b/

Post #69 · Posted at 2009-08-17 03:53:21am 14.6 years ago

Offline Zukin-Man
Zukin-Man Avatar Member+
4,679 Posts
United States
Reg. 2008-05-12

Nintendo Network ID: I.C.Howie3DS Friend Code: 2938-8870-4744
"Nature: Naughty"

Post #70 · Posted at 2009-08-17 04:02:23am 14.6 years ago

Offline Oni-91
Oni-91 Avatar Moderator+
13,489 Posts
United Kingdom
Reg. 2006-10-20

Nintendo Switch Friend Code: SW-3445-5569-17913DS Friend Code: 008736577880
"Ambivalent Viennetta"
Who the HELL is giving him neg ratings?
ZIv Mod Squad: "I'm a trash panda now, don't worry about it"
Can you make music? ZENIUS -I- MANIA 2023 NEEDS YOU
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FvT2ARPaQAAxRVX.jpg:large

Post #71 · Posted at 2009-08-17 04:32:48am 14.6 years ago

Offline MorpheusTheMS
MorpheusTheMS Avatar Member
32 Posts
United States
Reg. 2009-07-31

Quote: Vince Offer
Hi it's Vince with SlapChop! You're going to be slapping your troubles away with the SlapChop. Here's a potato. One slap, you got big chunks for stew, two slaps, home fries in a second. Here's a mushroom, the more you do it, the finer it gets. You don't have to switch any blades! Now, you love salad, you hate making it. You know you hate making salad, that's why you don't have any salad in your diet! One slap, salad! I love pizza too but once in a while get the veggies in, at least throw it on top of the pizza. You're gonna change your eating habits. 4 5 seconds it's done! This tuna looks BOORING. Stop having a boring tuna, stop having a boring life! Now you're gonna have a nice tuna! You'll have an exciting life now! You're gonna love my nuts! If you call now, we'll also send you the Graty, and watch this! Tacos, fettuccine, linguine, martini, bikini! But if you call within the next 20 minutes because you know we can't do this all day, we'll send you the Graty absolutely free! But you have to call now!

http://www.gossipsucker.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/vince_slap_chop_youre_going_to_love_my_nuts.jpg

They say his franchise isn't available in stores, but one time when I went to Wallgreens, I saw his franchise. Shocked

Do you think they decided to this ever since Vince went to jail?

Post #72 · Posted at 2009-08-17 05:06:14am 14.6 years ago

Offline Pandemonium X
Pandemonium X Avatar Member
10,358 Posts
United States
Reg. 2007-04-06

Nintendo Network ID: PandemoniumEJPNintendo Switch Friend Code: SW-2916-7192-8116
Quote: Vince Offer
Hi it's Vince with SlapChop! You're going to be slapping your troubles away with the SlapChop. Here's a potato. One slap, you got big chunks for stew, two slaps, home fries in a second. Here's a mushroom, the more you do it, the finer it gets. You don't have to switch any blades! Now, you love salad, you hate making it. You know you hate making salad, that's why you don't have any salad in your diet! One slap, salad! I love pizza too but once in a while get the veggies in, at least throw it on top of the pizza. You're gonna change your eating habits. 4 5 seconds it's done! This tuna looks BOORING. Stop having a boring tuna, stop having a boring life! Now you're gonna have a nice tuna! You'll have an exciting life now! You're gonna love my nuts! If you call now, we'll also send you the Graty, and watch this! Tacos, fettuccine, linguine, martini, bikini! But if you call within the next 20 minutes because you know we can't do this all day, we'll send you the Graty absolutely free! But you have to call now!

http://www.gossipsucker.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/vince_slap_chop_youre_going_to_love_my_nuts.jpg
what the hell...Confused

Post #73 · Posted at 2009-08-17 06:51:59am 14.6 years ago

Offline Silver Spirit
Silver Spirit Avatar Member
6,580 Posts
United States
Reg. 2008-09-14

Nintendo Switch Friend Code: SW-2249-7707-55923DS Friend Code: 2578-3309-2697
"i was born at a very young age"
Quote: MorpheusTheMS
Vince went to jail
Wait, seriously?

Post #74 · Posted at 2009-08-17 07:41:36am 14.6 years ago

Offline MorpheusTheMS
MorpheusTheMS Avatar Member
32 Posts
United States
Reg. 2009-07-31

Quote: Silver Spirit
Quote: MorpheusTheMS
Vince went to jail
Wait, seriously?
Well I've heard rumors that he once did. I know why, but umm.... I don't know if it's safe to explain why. Neutral

Post #75 · Posted at 2009-08-17 07:46:03am 14.6 years ago

Offline Zukin-Man
Zukin-Man Avatar Member+
4,679 Posts
United States
Reg. 2008-05-12

Nintendo Network ID: I.C.Howie3DS Friend Code: 2938-8870-4744
"Nature: Naughty"
Quote: Vince Offer
hooker beating

Situation explained.

Post #76 · Posted at 2009-08-17 08:06:10am 14.6 years ago

Offline Vince Offer
Vince Offer Avatar Banned
8 Posts
United States
Reg. 2009-08-17

"You're gonna love my nuts."
It sounds like you guys pissed yourselves pretty badly. Why not clean it up with the ShamWow? It's like a shammy, it's like a towel, it's like a sponge! A regular towel doesn't work wet, the ShamWow works wet or dry. It's for the house, the car, the boat, the RV. ShamWow holds 20 times in weight in liquid! It just does the work! Why do you want to work twice as hard? It doesn't drip! It doesn't make a mess! Wring it out, you wash it in the washing machine! Made in Germany, you know the Germans always make good stuff. You can cut it in half, drain your dishes, use it as a bathmat. Olympic divers! They use it as a towel! Roll it up with a wet sweater... Here's some cola; wine, coffee, cola... not only is the damage on top, there's your mildew! That is gonna smell! You see that? We're gonna do this in real time. Put in on the spill turn it over, without putting any pressure on it, 50% of the cola right there! Ya following me camera guy? It acts like a vacuum, and look! Virtually dry on the bottom! You're gonna spend $20 on paper towel, you're throwing your money away. This last 10 years, this last a week, I dunno, it sells itself! But if you call now, because we can't do this all day, you're gonna get 4 ShamWows absolutely free. Here's how to order!

http://www.adverblog.com/archives/shamwow1.jpg
http://users.marketleverage.com/42/6834/25386/

Post #77 · Posted at 2009-08-17 08:22:04am 14.6 years ago

Offline Silver Spirit
Silver Spirit Avatar Member
6,580 Posts
United States
Reg. 2008-09-14

Nintendo Switch Friend Code: SW-2249-7707-55923DS Friend Code: 2578-3309-2697
"i was born at a very young age"
EVERYTHING MUST BURN

Post #78 · Posted at 2009-08-17 08:35:03am 14.6 years ago

Offline Zukin-Man
Zukin-Man Avatar Member+
4,679 Posts
United States
Reg. 2008-05-12

Nintendo Network ID: I.C.Howie3DS Friend Code: 2938-8870-4744
"Nature: Naughty"
Quote: Silver Spirit
EVERYTHING MUST BURN

Where's the message? I can't se--OH FUCK.

Post #79 · Posted at 2009-08-17 08:38:48am 14.6 years ago

Offline Silver Spirit
Silver Spirit Avatar Member
6,580 Posts
United States
Reg. 2008-09-14

Nintendo Switch Friend Code: SW-2249-7707-55923DS Friend Code: 2578-3309-2697
"i was born at a very young age"
If you can see this, you're probably trying too hard.Man, I love size 0.

Post #80 · Posted at 2009-08-17 11:55:26am 14.6 years ago

Offline Kyzentun
Kyzentun Avatar Member
3,209 Posts
United States
Reg. 2008-02-20

"I'm honestly pissed off."
Quote: Silver Spirit
If you can see this, you're probably trying too hard.Man, I love size 0.
I just assumed you had nothing worth reading to say.
It seems my assumption is correct.
silenttype01: Kyzentun is never harsh. He says it how it is.

GENERATION 24: The first time you see this, copy it into your sig on any forum and add 1 to the generation. Social experiment.
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