My Writing Prompts

Since there's no writing forum here... *hint hint* I guess I'll just post these here.

Anyway, I want your guys's opinions on some shstuff. Basically, different storylines for my... well... stories. They're not really being written yet, and I'm still expanding on them, but still.

1) A sixteen year old boy wins a contest to go on a trip England but he's not old enough to go. His father wants to go, so he lets him. When waving goodbye, the boy saw a bird crash into a tree and fall down HINT HINT. The boy thought nothing and said his final goodbyes to his father, and the plane took off to England. Not ten hours later, the family gets a call saying the plane had control failure and it had crashed somewhere in the Atlantic Ocean. There were no survivors. The boy had essentially killed his dad by getting him on the plane that crashed. [obviously, this isn't realistic that he *killed* his dad, but this is from the boy's perspective]

So: a year passes. On the one year anniversary of his father's death, the boy finds a "mysterious stone" (insert the "oohs" and "ahhs"). Anyway, after researching the stone, he soon learns that it can grant any one wish that the holder desires, but the wish must stay in their life forever, meaning that they can't "reverse" the wish, per se. So the child wishes for his father to never go on that plane ride.

But was this wish for the better, or for the worse? [no spoilers here]

2) In a future civilization, around 2100 CE, the government is completely totalitarian. It controls what people eat, what people listen to, and even what people believe in. Those who disobeyed the government were not only punished, but they will also serve a "lifetime torture", which is often said to be worse than death. A preteen girl is having a hard time conforming. There's nothing available to eat except the rations that the government gives her family each month, which consists of ten large cans of beans, twenty large loaves of bread, a small jar of peanut butter, an even smaller jar of jelly, a box of cereal, and a bag of corn. Creativity is nonexistent; there is nothing to create, nothing to create with. People would believe what they want to believe; that is, if the government wasn't there to stop them.

Young 12 year old Abigail feels faith in the world. She knows something exists. She can feel it. It's there. But the government doesn't think so. Atheism is the law. And if the law isn't followed, punishment is just waiting to occur. Eternal suffering in the hot, firing volcano, ready to blow at any moment.

So Abigail is set on a road to believe what she wanted to believe. Nothing will stop her now. Not even the government.

I like number one better because it seems to go a little more in depth into the character and his life. Number two seems too cliche in the fact that there are many movies out there that are like that. For example, Equilibrium with Christian Bale and Taye Diggs. Also, saying atheism is the law is a too frank in my opinion. Leave it to the reader to decide if it is an atheist world or not because using it in that tone may make it seem a little bias.

EDIT: Although it is obvious let them come to that conclusion themselves.

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Put strikes over the horrible parts of the prompts and gave my criticism .

1. This isn't really a proper writing prompt, so I decided not to bother.

2) In a future civilization, around 2100 CE, the government is completely (Redundant. How can a government be "kind of" totalitarian?) totalitarian. It controls what people eat, what people listen to, and even what people believe in. Those who disobeyed the government were (are) not only punished, but they will also serve (undergo) a "lifetime torture", which is often (We can infer that it's said often) said to be worse than death (Yikes. You go from the past tense to the future tense to the present tense in the same sentence). A preteen girl is having a hard time conforming (Out of place, move to second paragraph). There's nothing available to eat except the rations that the government gives her family each month, which consists of ten large cans of beans, twenty large loaves of bread, a small jar of peanut butter, an even smaller jar of jelly, a box of cereal, and a bag of corn (Is this really a necessary part of the prompt?). Creativity is nonexistent; there is nothing to create, nothing to create with. People would believe what they want to believe; that is, if the government wasn't there to stop them.

Young (Young is redundant. We know that 12 years old is young) 12 year old Abigail feels faith in the world (What exactly does this mean? I google'd this phrase and literally came up with 0 results.). She knows something exists. She can feel it. It's there. But the government doesn't think so. Atheism is the law. (You need to combine these sentences.) And (Don't start your sentences with a conjunction) if the law isn't followed, punishment is just waiting to occur (You spend the whole prompt talking about how bad the totalitarian government is, then you put this sentence in the passive form?). Eternal suffering in the hot, firing volcano, ready to blow at any moment. (Where did this volcano come from all of the sudden? Is this how the government punishes people or is this an attempt at a metaphor?

I'm very critical when it comes to writing, so you'll have to forgive me for this: both of your prompts stink. Obviously, not having read your full stories, I can't give a proper review, but your prompts do not leave me wanting more. Prompt 1 sounds like it belongs on the back of a Goosebumps! book and prompt 2 is just cliche, with no real promise of breaking it.

Don't beat yourself up over it though, you're still in high school and you've got a lot of English classes down the road. The fact that you're even coming up with stories on your own at this stage in life is a good sign.

Ohh well. Thanks for the criticism, I guess.

I'm a young author, and I still have a ways to go (I"m taking a creative writing course senior year). I accept your criticism with open arms.

To append to previous post

It's a necessary part of the prompt (the foot rations part) because it shows how poor the government is.

What I thought "feels faith in the world" meant was that she felt as though "god was there".

The last part is an attempt at a metaphor.

You should write more so you can eliminate more.

You can show that by simply saying "the government rations food". Does your prompt really need to say exactly what they get?


It's an awkward phrase. Rephrase it to something like "She feels an otherworldly presence".


It needs to be styled a little better and the volcano metaphor is a little cliche.

Aegis is right, good writers throw away 90% of what they write. Concision is the key here: you want to give the readers as much information in as little words as possible.

Pro tip: Don't add HINT HINT or other. If the reader fails to understand/see the comparison, then you have failed, as a writer, to give the reader enough to nibble to see that there is a comparison between the lines. Either that or the audience is just oblivious... etc.

If you write something, then there needs to be a reason as to why you wrote it.

Just saying...for your information...

Of the two prompts, I prefer the 1st one. The whole "totalitarian government oppressing everyone and everything" has been done to death over and over again. That being said, I do like that "feeling faith in a world that has none" idea in the 2nd one.

I'm kinda in the same situation as you, because I'm in the process of writing 2 novels and I've revised everything so many times that they probably barely even resemble what I originally had planned for them. Like pie said, it's great that you're already coming up with story ideas at your age. Just keep at it. I see definite potential in your ideas.

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